Don't Shoot, Mr. Postman

Finals are mercifully over, so hopefully I'll have more opportunities to blog. Love it, hate it, be indiffrent-- you can not control me!

But while I have your attention, I just thought I'd share with you a few open letters I would like to write.

Letter #1
To: The Striking Minor League Baseball Umpires

STAY ON STRIKE. (OK, I'm slow-- they are already back from their strike... but they should go back out on strike.) You guys just got your asses shown up by your replacements.

A couple of incidents come to mind for which the replacement umpires (whose names were not released) need to be commended. But the first and, by far, the biggest is the Delmon Young bat-throwing incident.

For those who don't follow baseball, Delmon Young is an uberprosect (read: overhyped sack of shit) in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays farm system. While playing for the AAA Durham Bulls (yes, just like the movie) Young was ejected for arguing a called thrid strike.

As our hero exited stage-left he flipped his bat end over end, striking the umpire in the chest. The umpire made no reaction, and needs to be commended for keeping his cool under the circumstances.

Had the actual MiLB umpires been working that game (and this is pure speculation-- cuz I hope I'm wrong about this... yet we'll never know) I'm sure the situation would have escalated. Anybody remember the Robbie Alomar spitting incident? Yeah-- I'm sure the umpire would have said something to Young. As it was, the replacement restrained and needs to be commended for it.

Letter #2
To: The Exectutive as Exxon/Mobil

FUCK YOU. There is absolutely no reason for you assholes to report mutil-BILLION dollar profits while charing us $3-4 for a gallon of gas. When you report that much of a profit, it mean that you are not doing enough to help your consumers.

OK, so some self-absorbed morons among us (I'm talking about anybody who drives a Hummer or any other vehicle that gets 24 gallons to the mile) who have pushed demand up and shown you that we will pay those outrageous prices for petro. Some of us pay those prices out of necessity.

But your RECORD PROFITS mean that you have gained that much money over what your expenses are. What it means is that there is a lot of room for you to be cutting prices, or finding other was to be putting that money back into the consumers. Perhaps you should consider fixing your refineries that have sat broken and idle for a decade. But to start, you can lower the prices. Think about this-- you lower prices, you're going to get more customers, which will keep that profit number in the same range that it is.

Do something to help us. Until then, you're just a bunch of pathetic, arrogant assholes-- and I hope the IRS audits your sorry asses for every dollar you have embezzled from the American public.

Letter #3
To: The Chicago Cubs

You have got to be the biggest assholes in the world-- behind only the oil executives, George W. Bush, Saddam Hussein, and well... OK a lot of other people... but still your very existence is insulting.

Tonight, the San Diego Padres honoured the Negro Leagues by wearing 1945 Pacific Coast League Padres uniforms. The significance being that it was the uniforms worn when the Padres signed their first Negro player.

In attendance for the game were several big names from the Negro Leagues, incuding Buck O'Neill and Jackie Robinson's daughters.

Instead of joining in the celebration, the Cubs took the field in their traditional road greys.

WHAT THE FUCK?

One of the oldest teams in the majors, with over 100 years of history, a huge budget, and the second largest fan base in the majors can't come up with throwbacks to join in on the celebration? Fuck's Sakes-- does the name Ernie Banks mean anything to your franchise? He was THE LAST player to join the Major Leagues from the Negro Leagues.

Come up with something-- don't look like the retards everyone knows you to be.

The Cubs are a disgrace. (For more reasons than just this... but I'm not going there... not now.)