Blowing Up So You Don't Have To

I suppose I'm due for my annual patriotic rant... but I think I'll break just a little with the tradition.

OK, I'll get nostolgic with you for a moment-- as I think back to my days as a wee lad in suburban Chicago. Independence Day used to be a lot of fun for me. It used to start with the village parade-- which I was usually in, either as an athlete (soccer or baseball) representing the town, or as a member of the middle school band. If I was in the parade as an athlete, as was the norm, we usually had the choice of riding in the back of a pickup truck or walking the route from the police station to the golf course.

My decision was usually hinging on how far back in the parade we were-- if there were a lot of horses ahead of us in the parade, I was in the truck. If we were early in the parade, I'd walk it... we were athletes for crying out loud-- why not?

At the end of the parade we'd usually end up at the 'Taste of Bensenville' festival on the golf course-- where the parade ended. It was a think slice of small town Americana in the suburbs. You know, crafts, food, contests... fun stuff.

We'd usually go home to find most of our friends at our house-- the parents would hang out in the back yard-- drinking-- while the kids were usually in the front yard beating the crap out of each other... I mean, playing baseball or football or full contact volleyball or something... we were athletes for crying out loud-- why not?

At night, whoever was left would usually find their way into the living room and watch the Boston Pops concert until the village fireworks show. We'd run down to the ball fields, about a mile from the golf course where the show was, and watch.

That was the typical Fourth of July for me. I don't think things have changed much in Bensenville-- though only one or two of the families who used to hang together are still there. For me, a move to Omaha changed the Fourth of July.

To start, there is no parade in Omaha. Ralston has a parade, but the City of Omaha doesn't. The city, itself, barely does fireworks. The city show is uaully associated with the baseball game-- so it could be on the 3rd. Beyond that, all there is, is a loosely-enforced 'no fireworks' policy within city limits.

It's a crock.

It's not a crock that the city has a law against fireworks in public hands within city limits-- I think that's great... it's a safety thing. Like clockwork, two events happen in Omaha every Fourth of July: 1. a kid goes to the hospital after being struck by a firework, and 2. someone burns their own house down. Good times.

Seriously, when I was growing up the only people with firecrackers and such in the neighbourhood were the delinquents and malcontents-- you know, the people whose mental capacity ended at: wow... bright light, big boom.

I honeslty don't get the attraction of blowing up part of this great country, and possibly part of your hand. It is a meaningless thing-- it makes you no more of an American, no more patriotic than me, and is a waste of money. (Though I will say that it is very interesting to see a panaramic view of everyone else's fireworks displays-- we get a great view on top of the hill.)

So for a couple years we still had the Boston Pops to look forward to. But CBS has screwed that up for everyone, too. For some reason, they don't think people want to listen to the Pops. (Matty, can I get a 'Why do you hate America?') It's been bastardized. The Pops on CBS is now a one-hour show, with the back half hour of it being the fireworks.

Forget that. I wanna hear the Pops play some patriotic music. OK, it was great to see John Mellencamp in front of the Pops-- but you only showed two songs from him, and two other songs from the Pops. How about showing the whole concert? All three hours of it! If I want to see pop stars, I'll flip over to PBS and 'A Capital Fourth'-- which hasn't been the same since Barry Bostwick stopped hosting.

So there it is, a typical Fourth for me in Omaha-- a half hour of the Pops, then out to the back porch (garden hose in hand to keep the neighbours from lighting the house on fire) and literally watch my neighbours money go up in smoke, laughing at the enforcement-- or lack there of-- of the laws of Omaha City.

God Bless America.