It's Just a Car

When did owning a car become similar to being a card-carrying member of a political party?

Seriously, why do I have to drive down the road to see Calvin pissing on a Ford emblem, a Dodge emblem, and a Chevrolet emblem in a span of two and a half blocks? (Actually, he was squatting on the Ford emblem, but still....) Clearly not all of you work for one of the major American car manufacturers... so what is the deal?

Do I have to declare myself as an Independant in the world of automobiles? Or does the fact that I drive a Plymouth make me a target regardless of what I really think of this trichotomy? The way some of you drive, it is hard to tell.

Am I naive to think this is just some macho red-neck circle jerk-- excuse me, NASCAR rivalry thing, or do you honestly all think one type of the car is the be-all, end-all of automobiles?

To be truthfully honest with you, I don't see the point-- kinda like NAPCAR (no, that's not a typo). A car is a car, whether it be the 1983 Ford LTD I inherited from my grandfather, my brother's old 1986 GMC Suburban (which he got from my other grandfather), or the 1997 Plymouth Breeze I drive now. Oh my God... Bless me father, for I have sinned-- I've driven cars made by all three American car manufacturers... I've also driven my mother's Nissan Sentra.

Surely, I'm going to hell for this. But I don't care. A car is a car. It has one purpose-- to get me from Point 'A' to Point 'B'. I don't care much for speed, nor do I care for sound, and does it really matter what a car looks like?

Some of you with dented bumpers, and primer showing should think before you answer that. You're no cooler for have car scars, a subwoofer that rattles the garage door open, tinted windows, lack a muffler because 'it sounds really cool to have a loud car', or rule because you drive a certain make of car.

You're all strutting, which means you making up for the lack of something else.

So seriously, let Calvin relieve himself in a more appropriate place-- I suggest the comic strip bathroom. Besides, if you really want to grind someone's gears, mention the imports.

It's funny... you never see Calvin draining it on a BMW badge.