Why I Love the Cubs

If you couldn't tell from the title-- or any previous entries on this blog-- this post is going to smell of sarcasm. I mean, if you know me, you know I'm a Cardinals fan, and tend to bask in the glow of the lovable losers.

It's been growing since birth.

In the interests of full disclosure I should let it be noted that I am the product of a mixed marriage-- my mother being a Cubs fan, my father a Cardinals fan. Also for the record, my brother is a Cardinals fan. Mom fought a losing battle on that one-- though she had me on her side until about age 4. My dad maintains he always knew I would come around.

Going to St. Louis on a semi-regular basis for Cubs-Cardinals series was always fun, and people passing us on the streets always took pity on my brother and me.

So yesterday's brawl in the 3rd-base dugout of Wrigley Field was really just a laughing matter for me. Then the stories continued to pour in about the incident between pitcher Carlos Zambrano and catcher Michael Barrett started to roll in. Let's just say I will be making sure I get to read the Chicago Tribune for the next couple days.

The fight itself was rather pathetic-- at least what I could see of it watching on TBS. I believe Peter McNealy landed more punches than either combatant. Baseball players should stick to what they know best-- adjusting themselves, spitting, and taking steroids.

There was a similar scene just last year between Kansas City's Runelvys Hernandez and John Buck in Cleveland. Hernandez, like Zambrano, was tired of getting hit hard during the game and decided to try to hit something back. He failed. How Hernandez ever missed Buck's oversized chin-- who knows? Zambrano missed with his punch, though he did manage to bitchslap Barrett and then attempt to scratch him like a Mary. (Later reports say that Barrett chased Zambrano down the clubhouse tunnel, where Zambrano did land one on Barrett-- forcing Barrett out of the game, and to the hospital.)

For a Cardinals fan like myself, this is just one more thing in the repetoir to use against those pitiful beings known as Die-Hard Cubs fans. Now, I understand the Cardinals are not exactly tearing up the National League-- we're actually assaulting the disabled list and obituaries, for the time being, but really I'm beginning to think the Cubs are finding new and amazing ways to keep the spotlight on Major League Baseball's freakshow.

That said, the Redbirds are the reigning champions-- a place the Cubs haven't been in 98 years. In fact that haven't even sniffed the World Series since 1945. It has to be driving the Cubs nuts right now. The Red Sox break the curse of the Bambino, then the Southsiders take the crown, and to cap it off the Cardinals win after that. (Somebody wake up the Brewers, it's their year.)

If it's not a comedy of errors in the field it's a black cat in front of the dugout at Shea, or a goat being banned from Wrigley, or Leon Durham spilling Kool-aid on his glove, or Dave Kingman vowing to break the team RBI record (191: Hack Wilson, 1930).

Did Kingman even get 191 RBI in his full tenure in Chicago? OK, it took him 2 seasons.

You can't help but laugh when watching the Cubs play. A couple years ago WGN was running commercials as Chicago's home for comedy, sports, and news-- or something to the like. My dad and I are convinced the first draft stopped at the second comma-- you're home for Comedy Sports. After all, the Cubs were there, the White Sox were not good, the Bulls were rubbish... all they needed were the Blackhawks to hold the monopoly. We held out hope, but it never happened.

Though, the Cubs did have their moment in the limelight. I was convinced that the 2003 season was going to be the year of the Cubs. There I was, flipping out at the thought of the Cubs actually going to a World Series-- and with it, the Rapture. Yet through it all, there was my father, sitting calmly. He just kept saying 'wait for it'.

When Steve Bartman reached up and knocked the ball away from Moises Alou, I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed a bit. But my father was still calm, still waiting-- as if to say '...but wait, there's more'. When Alex Gonzalez booted a sure inning-ending double play at short my father finally sat up and said 'there it is'.

He knew all along. You see, with my father it's not that he hates the Cubs. It's that they always find some new and amazing way to blow a sure thing. As he told me 'how can anyone cheer for these guys'?

There it is, why I love the Cubs and the wisdom of my father. Oh, and for those of you interested, the circus is at Wrigley Field this year. All the clowns are wearing blue pinstripes.