Pressure... Pressure... Gonna Blow Up... Pressure... CLEAR!

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't blogged in over a month.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't played hockey since May.

I'm beginning (and, yes Charley, that's the correct spelling) to think that maybe those two aspects of my life are safety release valves-- ways for me to vent the little frustrations that build up as time goes by.

Of course, it could be a a whole bunch of factors adding up-- people pushing the right buttons-- that finally set me off.

But I totally lost control this week, and I've felt horrible about it.

Those who know me, know for that I can be an abrasive, in-your-face person-- but that deep down, I'm really just a true gentleman who speaks his mind freely, and calls it as it is.

I hope...

...at least I like to think so.

And as often as I show my true emotions, very rarely do I ever totally lose control of them. Normally I'm all about words, I talk, I yell, I get in your face about things-- but it's not very often than I vent my frustrations in a physical manner.

I blew it this week.

Though, before anyone things I'm facing assault charges, I should say I did not hit anyone, nor attempt to. In fact, outside of hockey, I have never been in a physical fight with anyone... ever.

This time, I simply threw a book...

...a very large book...

...a law book...

...twice... well, ok, the first time I slammed it down (and it was really just for fun at that point), but the second throw was in anger... and did I get some distance on it. you'll have to ask Dave exactly how far it went-- but I'd say I managed to launch this 1,000-page book a good 15-20 feet... one-handed.

For those of you who really must know, it was outdated (1999) Iowa State Codes.

Up until the point he picked up the book, I think Dave thought it was just a prop book we keep around for looks on our uplink set in the TV studio. For full details, you might have to ask Dave-- and, no, he was not the target of my angst.

The more I think about it. I do think I handled the situation a lot better than I could have-- considering I waited until the person who set me off left the room before chucking the reading material. I have a feeling that had I confronted this person, it would not have been pretty, and I probably would have lost the respect of that co-worker.

I'm still not feeling great. I really feel the need to go vent on something-- so I may have to start scaning the politcal pages and let loose on a profanity-laced tirade against all things known to the American public.

...and then of course, I'd follow it up with something softer-- just to clean up the karmatic mess I will have created for myself.

So if you see me on the streets this week, please do not be afraid, but tread carefully. Handshakes and hugs are always appreciated, just remember if you want to take me on I'm at the breaking point.

That said, the next couple of days should be good for me. Finals are over. I don't work for a couple days. I have no TV shows to produce (has anyone realized that I actually had hair when I was hired at UNOTV?). I have a couple days to cool off.

...actually, I have some last minute Christmas shopping to finish up on. So if you do see me, or think I might be in the area. Stay home, stay out of my way, and let me get my shopping done quickly.