Friday, December 29, 2006

Get Your Kicks on Route 66

I'm wondering if my brother regifted on me for Christmas, or simply returned the favour. For his birthday, I got him the movie Cars... and for Christmas, he got me the movie Cars... and I think for my dad's brithday, we're going to get him the movie Cars.

Good movie, nice plot... and best of all it inspired aesthetics and an emotional response. Why make mention of getting the movie for my dad? Because the movie is him...

...and to some extent it is me.

You see, when we travel, my dad does not like to take the interstate system. Part of me believes it is some bitterness with the fact that the Interstate Highway System ultimately led to the end of railroad passenger service. But then part of me also gets it-- you know, the movie. I get that the fastest way to travel is not always the best way to travel.

Ironically, I type this sitting no more than 1,000 feet from where a fatal two- (possibly three-) car accident took place last week.

Personally, I think people need to slow down. James Whitmore said it best in The Shawshank Redemption when he said: ...the world went and got itself in a big damn hurry.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these "Keep Kids Alive, Drive 25" fools. In fact, I've got two points to make on that topic. First, keep yourself alive, drive with the flow of traffic-- it's called defensive (or responsive) driving-- and everyone needs to do it. And secondly, if you're worried about the cars driving in front of your house-- tell your kids to play in the backyard.

But I do think that there are some people who are going a million miles an hour, and their passing life by. People who are constantly on the move, flying wherever, talking on the Blackberries, or whatever you call them... and shouldn't be bothered.

You know the type... they're the ones always hassling the agent at the airport gate, demanding an aisle seat, or wanting to upgrade to first class. And when things don't go their way, they curse and swear and whine about why they hate the airlines.

The problem isn't the airlines. The problem is you, you cannot be satisfied in anyway, and you scapegoat anyone or anything you can. Believe me, I'm related to one of these types-- and his ways have torn the family apart (but that's not a rant for here).

This same family member, like the others, is 'hassled' by the police in the form of a constant stream of speeding tickets. Have I mentioned I'm also related to a cop? My brother, the cop, will tell you the same thing he tells me-- there are certain behaviours that individuals can participate in, which are taken by the police as an invitation to harrass and hassle you.

Among these behavioural patterns are: speeding, swirving, honking, running over people, waving the middle finger, waving waepons, flashing your brights, making illegal u-turns, not using your turn signal, running red lights, running stop signs, running into light poles, waving weapons at light poles, and inserting your head into your rectum.

It's not an inconvenience, it's a direct result of your actions. And what these people fail to realize is that missing a meeting is not the end of the world. Missing part of life, is.

My point is, we are so intent of getting things done quickly, and getting where we're going that we often miss out on the experience of it all. And if anybody has ever learned anything from me-- I hope its that experience will teach you everything you will ever need to know. It is through my personal experiences that I am able to respond to situations, and help others as they encounter life.

Out there in the world, there are so many things to experience that we often pass on as a matter of convenience. And I get that sometimes travel is done strictly for business purposes. But what about people who fly to Disney World-- have you never seen National Lampoon's Vacation?

OK, not the best example. But our family vacations, were always road trips, and NEVER by interstate. It didn't matter where we went on vacation: St. Louis, Boston, Vancouver... it was always by car.

And as much as I hated spending time in the car with my parents, there are things we've done, that just make you appreciate the tourture that it was... it's a little steakhouse in Miles City, Montanta... it's a rodeo in Cody, Wyoming... it's driving across the Mackinaw Bridge while my mom turned green from her fear of suspension bridges... it's the 'scenery' of Osoyoos, British Columbia... it's a ferry ride to Victoria... it's going through the historical communities that helped make this country as great as it is.

Even the railraods could give you some of that-- you could at least see some of the roadside attractions, and maybe have enough time to take a picture of it. Back in the days of steam, you might've had time to walk through an entire town-- all four blocks of it. Or you can see the Rocky Mountains from a viewpoint only possible by rail. My parents rave about going to San Fransisco by rail a couple years ago-- and the views in the mountains-- they're not the same view you get from the car... and you don't have to worry about steering your car and keeping it on the road-- more time to take it all in.

From an airplane, that's all non-existent. You miss Wall Drug, you miss the waterfalls in the mountains, you miss the best damn steakhouse you've ever been to (yeah, my mind's back in Miles City, again), and you miss being able to say you've been somewhere.

Though, if you've ever flown into Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C. I will say that view of the monuments is fricken' awesome. But I'm sure some of you are too wrapped up in your work-- or something allegedly more important than life itself-- to stop, take a breath, and look out the window.

Life is out there. Don't let the world pass you by. Experience it. Live it. Just slow down, and take it all in.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Funny Little Frog in My Throat

This is a long-overdue post. I've been meaning to post this for several months, and unfortunately anytime I think I have time to post it, I get taken away by some other aspect of life. Certainly not a more important aspect than the topic, but more important than a blog.

For those of you who visit my MySpace page (again, this is not an endorsement of the cults of the internet of MySpace, or Facebook-- rather, just a reference point), you'll notice I enjoy the music of Belle and Sebastian. (Matty used to hound me regualraly over this fact, but even he has come around on their music.) On my MySpace page is the video to 'Funny Little Frog'. It's not a great video-- though I love the song-- it is there as a tribute to five of my close friends. Friends I don't talk to near enough anymore, and friends who I am not sure I have made clear to how much I appreciate them, their friendship, and some of the things they have done for me.

To bring you full circle into the song, the lyrics are really about a guy fantasizing about, and having this 'relationship' a girl who isn't there, but his emotion when he 'talks' to her (really just talking to himself) gets him a little choked up. A little creepy, yes, but I took a slightly different interpretation of it. Because, you see, three of my five close friends I'm tributing don't live up the street from me-- in fact, the one I'm probably the closest to... I've never met in person (...long story, but we do talk on the phone-- so it's not one of these internet 'relationships'). However, when I find myself in times of reflection-- thinking about who I am, what I've done, things like that-- I still hear their voices. Without them, I would be lost.

This is the full tribute to them, and everything they have done for me. Grab a seat-- I'm not going to short-change anyone here. (Oh yes, this is going to get sappy.)

It started with Kali, who used to live here-- and I used to talk to everyday after school. Shortly after we met, she moved and I went off to college. However, her friendship over those next couple of years got me through some of the toughest times of my life.

I was struggling academically, and I wasn't happy with playing time in hockey (being redshirted, and felt I had gotten a raw deal at them end of the semester). There were days where I just didn't want to get out of bed, and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it on my own. Then one day I just happened across her on IM one day, and it was like any worry I had disappeared. Later that year, while I was playing junior hockey I went through a two-week period that would put anyone through an emotional ringer-- changing teams as often as I changed underwear (for the record in an eight-day span I changed teams 13 times between five different teams). My parents were telling me to give it up, and come back home to go to school. Yet, in one phone call to Kali my mind was made up. All she said was "I've never known you to give up. You can do it."

One voice against the weight of the world was all I needed. I stuck it out, and some of you know how it turned out. When I finally settled in to a roster spot, I knew I had one phone call to make. Not to my parents, not to my brother, to Kali-- and I was so choked up, I'm not even sure she heard what I had to say.

Ironically, the next year I faced a similar situation and it was a new friend I had met by accident who carried me through. I had known Jill's dad for a while through a some common interest groups, and I just happened to meet Jill while trying to contact her dad. We hit it off right away. And rightfully, I owe at lot of my friendship with Jill to her dad, Dave-- who passed away a year ago in October. Dave was a great friend, too-- who thought highly enough of me to tell me that he wished I would someday be his son-in-law. You don't forget words like that.

Back to Jill, our friendship could have been a lot simpler than it has been. She is the one I have never met in person. Though, Dave, Jill, and I thought we had it all worked out while I was playing hockey in Cincinnati-- I was only a couple hours away, and Dave had said if I run into trouble, I could call him. Being away from home and knowing you have 'family'-- beyond your billets-- willing to help is a comforting feeling. What we didn't expect was that I would get loaned back to a team in Winnipeg.

While in Winnipeg, I was in a fight for playing time, and there was this shroud of uncertainty around me. The main concern was that I wouldn't stick in Winnipeg because of they wouldn't use a roster spot on a player on a player who could be on his way back to Cincinnati at a moment's notice. Again, it was a friend who kept my head straight-- this time Jill.

Jill was also there for me a couple months later when I made the decision to leave juniors and go back to school. Ever since, Jill has been the friend I talk to when I need to get my mind in order. She likes to challenge my mind, and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm out of line. Seriously, if you don't have a friend like Jill who can psychologically slap some sense back into you-- GET ONE!

What you might notice now, is a trend. When one friend seems to start to fade a little in their presence in my life, another friend is there to pick right up where they left off. It was while Jill was studying in Greece that Beth became the voice of reason in my life.

Let's just say that Beth is the one who, even today, kicks my ass over the stupid things I do. You make one mistake, and she's the type of friend who... doesn't necessarily hang it over your head... but rather keeps you from making the same mistake twice.

Then there is Amanda. Amanda's contribution to who I am, is she is the person who brings out the best in me. There are two aspects with my friendship with Amanda. The first, is that she has taken away some of my fears about being who I am. I took a risk when I met Amanda... three days after I first met her. you see, my first run-in with Amanda was during a TV broadcast of UNO Volleyball. For various reasons, I just couldn't get my mind off of this beautiful girl from South Dakota's team-- her eyes, her smile-- finally a co-worker had enough of me, and called my bluff. Kathy went over and said something to her... and me, being the gutless wonder I am-- hid in fear.

A few days later I found her on Facebook, and took a risk-- would she laugh it off, or would it creep her out. My money was on creepiness. She found it all to be 'totally cute and sweet'. My friendship with Amanda, like with Jill, has reminded me simply to be myself-- you can't go wrong when you be yourself.

The other thing Amanda's friendship has done for me, is remind me of my humble nature. I know at lot of people mistake the pride I have in the things I've done as being a 'pompous asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else'. They couldn't be more wrong. I'm simply a person proud of what he has accomplished, and I really don't make that big of a deal out of it. Sure, if you ask me about it I'll tell you everything you want to know. But you forget, that my pride comes from rebounding from some very rough-- humble-- times. I certainly wouldn't have gotten anywhere without the help of my friends, and it was Amanda that unknowingly reminded me of that.

You see, shortly after I met Amanda, we spent a lot of time on the phone talking about how rough of a time she was having at USD. Basically, she was going through the same things I experienced at ISU-- an unhappy red-shirt who was sturggling academically and was considering a change in majors and possibly even a transfer. All I had to do was think back what I had been through, and speak through experience.

Catie, like Amanda, reminded me of who I am. But Catie provided that missing piece to the puzzle-- and that is to not only remember who you are, but to be proud of it. I used to think I was a misfit-- I knew being unique wasn't bad-- but I never felt like I belonged. Then I met Catie, and found out that we're pretty much two peas in a pod. Political beliefs, frustrations, social ideals-- until Catie and I started talking-- and were they ever the long conversations-- I thought I was just this radical, someone who was off the charts... an oddball.

I'm sure I've given back to each of them in some way, as well-- at least I hope so, or I'm not a very good friend. But, I think it is only fitting at this time of the year, that those who really mean something to you, know how you feel.

Without my entire support staff-- all of my friends-- who knows in what sad shape I would be in today. And so, to not just the five special young ladies mentioned above, but to all of my friends...

THANK YOU... and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Pressure... Pressure... Gonna Blow Up... Pressure... CLEAR!

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't blogged in over a month.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't played hockey since May.

I'm beginning (and, yes Charley, that's the correct spelling) to think that maybe those two aspects of my life are safety release valves-- ways for me to vent the little frustrations that build up as time goes by.

Of course, it could be a a whole bunch of factors adding up-- people pushing the right buttons-- that finally set me off.

But I totally lost control this week, and I've felt horrible about it.

Those who know me, know for that I can be an abrasive, in-your-face person-- but that deep down, I'm really just a true gentleman who speaks his mind freely, and calls it as it is.

I hope...

...at least I like to think so.

And as often as I show my true emotions, very rarely do I ever totally lose control of them. Normally I'm all about words, I talk, I yell, I get in your face about things-- but it's not very often than I vent my frustrations in a physical manner.

I blew it this week.

Though, before anyone things I'm facing assault charges, I should say I did not hit anyone, nor attempt to. In fact, outside of hockey, I have never been in a physical fight with anyone... ever.

This time, I simply threw a book...

...a very large book...

...a law book...

...twice... well, ok, the first time I slammed it down (and it was really just for fun at that point), but the second throw was in anger... and did I get some distance on it. you'll have to ask Dave exactly how far it went-- but I'd say I managed to launch this 1,000-page book a good 15-20 feet... one-handed.

For those of you who really must know, it was outdated (1999) Iowa State Codes.

Up until the point he picked up the book, I think Dave thought it was just a prop book we keep around for looks on our uplink set in the TV studio. For full details, you might have to ask Dave-- and, no, he was not the target of my angst.

The more I think about it. I do think I handled the situation a lot better than I could have-- considering I waited until the person who set me off left the room before chucking the reading material. I have a feeling that had I confronted this person, it would not have been pretty, and I probably would have lost the respect of that co-worker.

I'm still not feeling great. I really feel the need to go vent on something-- so I may have to start scaning the politcal pages and let loose on a profanity-laced tirade against all things known to the American public.

...and then of course, I'd follow it up with something softer-- just to clean up the karmatic mess I will have created for myself.

So if you see me on the streets this week, please do not be afraid, but tread carefully. Handshakes and hugs are always appreciated, just remember if you want to take me on I'm at the breaking point.

That said, the next couple of days should be good for me. Finals are over. I don't work for a couple days. I have no TV shows to produce (has anyone realized that I actually had hair when I was hired at UNOTV?). I have a couple days to cool off.

...actually, I have some last minute Christmas shopping to finish up on. So if you do see me, or think I might be in the area. Stay home, stay out of my way, and let me get my shopping done quickly.