So Nice I'm Rude

So apparently I'm just an asshole. Plain out, no question, I'm an asshole. Either that, or the International Federation of We Hate Sam decided in their weekly meeting that this was the week for everyone to be mean to me.

In the case of the latter-- I KNEW IT! You thought I wasn't on to you, but I knew that you all get together and find new and amazing ways to make my life a living hell.

OK, I'm kidding. I would have to think very highly of myself to actually believe that people get together to discuss my life. I'm sure it's just a website, right?

Of course not. Nobody is out to get me-- well, maybe somebody is, but it's all trivial. However, the events of the past week have been so assinine they've become comical to me, and I just thought I'd share my thoughts with everyone else. I hope everyone else can laugh this off as I have.

Now to start, I don't deny that from time to time I can come across as a contemptuous and pompous asshole. No disrespect intended, I just don't try to soften the blow of the truth. I'm rather blunt when it comes to the truth, because there is simply no way around the truth-- there is it, take it.

Than again, there are some of you who only know me through this blog-- so I would understand if you thought I was this jackass who just hates the world. Well, I don't hate the world. But this blog is a place for me to express my opinions and vent my frustrations. Let's face it, if I wasn't talking about things that upset me-- nobody would ever read this.

How much fan can a blog be with the insightful: "I love the sky. I love how how it is blue, it is such a calming colour. Not like the colour orange. I don't like the colour orange. I really don't see a use for such a colour. But I digress, because the sun is out, the sky is blue, and that makes me happy. Oh, so very happy."

Yeah. How many of you just puked during that shameless display of sappiness?

So obviously something is bothering me today. Something that normally shouldn't, except that it was said by a friend of mine. Apparently some people are left uncomfotable by my friendly nature. I met this friend through work, and she has since moved on in life, moving back home, and doing something else with her life. But her boyfriend remains here, and I still work with him.

This year I am working just about every home game for the Omaha Royals. (AJ, I'm sorry, but I have to do something this summer for make at least some money.) And so I see this friend's boyfriend everyday at the ballpark. So as I walk through the Administrative Offices to clock in, I pass his desk, and on my way by I say hello to him.

The message I got from my friend today was: "Leave my boyfriend alone."

OK. You're offended by me saying hello to him?

Apparently, yes. Because the boyfriend has not been formally introduced to me, it is somehow wrong of me to use his name in my greeting. He apparently is not comfortable with me walking by and saying hello. I was told it is an enfringement on his personal life-- which is "none of my damn business".

Ahh... a clue. Perhaps I crossed a line last week when I followed up my greeting with "How was your trip to New Orleans?" OK, it's a bit more of a personal question-- but it was a rhetorical question. It's not like I stopped and asked for every detail of the trip. I was passing by, and decided to change things up a bit. It gets stale to say 'hi' everytime by. If I wasn't supposed to know that he was in New Orleans, then why the hell did my friend tell me they went to New Orleans?

I'm told it was rude of me to ask such a personal question. No. What was rude of me was not stopping to hear the full answer. (The previous sentance defeats my friend's arguement that I am ALWAYS the victim.) Of course, I heard the brief answer before I got to the next door. No big deal.

So, my arguement is this: When is it ok for me to say hello? Am I seriously supposed to just walk through the office and ignore anyone in the building I have not been introduced to?

I waived at the mailman today-- and he waived back. Then it hit me: I don't believe I have been formally introduced to the mailman. I should probably take back my non-verbal greeting for him, because he might think I'm just this rude motherfucker who has no business saying hello to him in an way. Or perhaps I should go jump infront of his jeep, force him to stop so I can appologize for the rudeness of my greeting and introduce myself.

I should also stop posting on Vent's blog, because I have only met him through my blog. We've never shook hands, and so I guess I have to reconsider how I act when he is around.

The fact that this friend of mine is attempting to dictate who I can talk to is head-scratcher. I mean, a couple weeks ago she was telling me that I need to get out more. That I need some guy friends that I hang out with, and that I should be happy being a single guy. In fact, she has gone as far as attempting to ground me from dating or pursuing women. I guess this is all part of her master plan. I shouldn't be friendly to people who I don't know.

If I can't say hello to somebody without being formally introduced, how am I supposed to meet new people? If I just brush past people without a word, they are going to think I'm just this selfish bastard. That ought to go over well.

I'm trying to think back to if I was formally introduced to this friend. I don't remember it if it happened. Though, I do remember meeting her boyfriend at the movie theatre last summer. And I do believe I was introduced to him.

Come to think of it, I randomly met Amanda, and was never introduced to her. Now, another friend did try to point me out to her-- but I was 200 feet away, and Amanda admits she couldn't see me because she wasn't wearing her glasses. Does that mean that I was rude to find her online and start a friendship with her? I can think of several other people I am friends with whom I was never formally introduced to.

You know, I take a lot of shit for being a nice guy. I mean, women have told me they won't date me because I'm too nice. But, I've never been told I'm rude because I'm too nice. Well... until today.

Did you miss me?

Of course you did.

OK, I've been bad. Well, not really. I'm sure some of you think I've been hiding since I defaced the oldest ballpark in the majors-- but I haven't. I just haven't had a chance to update.

I should get a chance to blog more as the semester winds down. We all know my internship pretty much took over my life-- basically if I wasn't in class or at work... or at work... or at work... or at work... ... or at work, I was working on producing the show. I can tell you, though: Last Wednesday night as Chaz and I emerged from the Ice Dungeon (our office at the TV station), we both couldn't help but smile, as the stress of the job is over with. I could tell the stress of editing was taking a toll on Chaz-- I'm not sure if he wanted to strangle me or the computer... but he constantly had this look like he was going to rip his hair out. (Not a fucking word, Matthew!)

Obviously my academics have suffered a little, so I am attempting to catch up there. And I believe I have done so... just in time for finals to be piled on. But I do have a few things on my mind while I'm here.


First of all, to Rush Limbaugh-- shut the hell up, you sorry excuse for a blimp. I'm not sure what makes you think you (or Dr. Laura for that matter) are the know-all, be-all, end-alls of the universe, but I really don't care what you have to say. If it weren't for the damn campus shuttle buses, you might have been spared from this, since I certainly would never listen to your programs, but since I've heard some of your diluted non-sensical blabberings, I'll over a thought or two.

I had the displeasure of listening to the Goodyear Blimp spout off about imigration and the support the Democrats have given to it. Jabba the Hut claims this to be an act of desperation of a dying political party. Desperation? Nothing like kicking someone when they're down, eh? If I'm not mistaken, aren't you a pain-killer dependent racist? How soon he forgets that he was once down a few notches. Maybe the Democrats are not as strong as they once were, but if the Republicans continue to fuck up this country, and parade around like they own the world-- the tables are going to turn rather quickly. The Democrats are a dying party? WRONG-- political support is down all around. Take a look at the President's approval ratings. If you add that rating to Rush's weight, you might break even.

I'm registered Independent, and I am very open-minded to the opinions and ideas of others. But the quickest way to turn me against you is to try and bully people around.

It's called cognitive complexity-- look into it.


Today is the ten-year anniversary of the tragic death of former Cornhusker quarterback Brook Berringer. Even I was a little sad when it happened-- and we all know how much I hate the Huskers.

Of course, there were a couple cheap laughs out of it. There was always the shadow of Tommie Frazier hanging over Berringer. And naturally there was a joke about how Tom Osborne was overheard at the funeral saying: "Tommie would've landed it."

But the classic moment of that evening was the 10-O'clock News on WOWT. When Dave Webber broke down in tears on the air. OK, sad event? Yes. Upsetting? Yes. But for the sports anchor to physically break down over the news only proves how bizzarre the people of Nebraska are. You cry over the death of a 20-plus year old backup quarterback in a plane crash... yet when a young child is abuducted, raped, and brutally murdered you show no emotion? If you cried for Brook, you should have cried for Hank Gathers, you should have shown some emotion for Jiri Fischer, and you certainly should be upset when a defenseless baby dies under any circumstance. So, I'm sorry I found it comical when the lead sports anchor-- someone who represents the macho -isms that are sports-- broke down on the air. People die all the time, it was his time. I just have to ask, was he (or will he be) that emotional when someone in his family dies?


I'll be back soon with a couple full-fledged rants. Among the topis you may see: Ethanol-- not as great as you think, and My Parents-- welcome to 1997.