Tony George: Beaten on his Own Turf

OK, I know I'm doubling up on Indy this weekend, but I missed all of May, and it will be another year before I can go through this again.

I have a message for you Tony George: you suck. I know you think you are god's gift to open-wheel racing, the self-proclaimed saviour. You're not. You've caused more damage than you can fix, you've pretty much killed open-wheel racing, and you're a hipocrite. What happened to your vision of a cost-efficient, all-oval, all-American racing series? This certainly isn't it.

First of all, you're running three street races this year. That's right, for the first time in ten years, an Indy Racing League Driver will have to make right turns. Secondly, of the 33 drivers who just participated in the only race you that matters, 18 are foreign-born. It is hard for you to provide an racing option for American drivers when over half of your competitors are not the American drivers you are hoping to breed. And what about cost? When you started the IRL, you wanted to make it a more affordable place to run cars compared to CART (now Champ Car). But for the past 2 seasons, the better bargain has been Champ Car-- and the only reason you are able to field 33 cars for one race (and 20 full time rides) is because you are shelling out the money to cover the cost. You're a monster of your own creation.

You have claimed victory on several occaisions over CART. But in all reality, you have failed-- and you are killing the sport. Open-wheel racing has become the bastard stepchild to NASCAR... flippin' NASCAR-- a bunch of rednecks who attempt to take giant hunks of metal in a circle.

You claimed victory when you started your series. But in those early years, all the known drivers stayed with CART, and your show was a joke. All you had was Indy.

You claimed victory when Penske and Ganassi left CART to join your series. But the reality of it is, they have raised the bar, raised the spending, and exposed you for the fraud you are. Your teams could not compete with the expanded budgets of the CART teams. Though Panther Racing gave it a go, you were still out classed. All you had was Indy.

You claimed victory when Honda and Toyota dumped CART to come to your series. But what that has caused is the major influx of foreign drivers to your series-- most brought in by the remaing CART teams who followed the money to their powerplants. They are only here because of Indy.

Take a look-- when was the last time an actual IRL team won Indy? Dan Wheldon just won the race today, he races for Andretti-Green Racing (as in Michael Andretti) the team formerly known as Team Kool Green-- in CART. The same team you screwed over just two years ago (and I will get back to that in a moment). Last year, it was Buddy Rice for Rahal Letterman Racing. Rahal, as in Bobby Rahal, 1986 winner, and former CEO of CART. Before that, it was Penske thrice (deFerran, and Castroneves twice). And in 2000, when CART teams returned to Indy for the first time since the split-- Juan Pablo Montoya won-- for Ganassi, who was still in CART at the time. That's right, Tony-- the last time one of your drivers won your prestige race... it was a race among your own drivers-- and even then, it was Swedish driver Kenny Brack. Not one of the American drivers you were promissing opportunities for.

How dilusional are you Tony George? Let's go back two years, to Gil deFerran's win at the Brickyard. You know the story-- it is your all-time clusterfuck. Just as an incident occured on the track, CART driver Paul Tracy (driving for CART's Team Kool Green) passed deFerran (driving for Penske) for the lead, and what would have been the win-- with the race finishing under yellow. But you declared deFerran the winner. Here's the problem with your decision: 1. Tracy beat deFerran to the start finish line when the caution came out. 2. At the time the yellow came out, Tracy had nosed ahead of deFerran, and there is video proof that proves it-- you have the tapes, and you refused to release them to public viewing following your mandate. And let's not forget 3. When Tracy's team protested your ruling, you took a couple days-- probably to find the proper spin-- and you did, by declaring that "after reviewing the tapes (the same tapes you will not release) the protest filed by Team Kool Green is overruled because the ruling of the stewards is not protestable." WTF, Tony? You reviewed it, then decided that it wasn't up for review? You make it sound like you've been presented with the evidence that proved Tracy was the rightful winner.

But you know what is even more messed up? Who did you declare the winner? deFerran. A driver for Roger Penske. Penske, who made his name in CART. Put whatever spin on it you want, but Penske is and always will be a CART team. He has done nothing since coming to series but destroy the competition. Claim victory if you want to feel good about yourself, but it was still a victory for CART.

Take a look at the top teams in the IRL this year: Rahal, Andretti, Penske, Ganassi. All four are CART teams who came over with engine manufacturers, and have decimated the hopes of your teams. CART brought over another team just for Indy: Newman-Haas, whose drivers were in contention until your undisciplined drivers (read: A.J. Foyt IV-- yes, A.J. Foyt-- and family-- still make a comical exit from Indy every year) took them out. Bruno Junquiera was running 6th, and Sebastien Bourdais was running 5th. Had Bourdais not wrecked with two laps to go, CART teams would have swept the top 5-- a sight not uncommon over the past few years.

Pull your head out of your ass, Tony-- the CART teams are here to destroy you. Sure they have made a spectacle of Indy once again, but that is simply in the best interest of open-wheel racing. The other 13 races you run are a joke, nobody watches, nobody cares. It's time to cut your losses and return open-wheel racing to a single banner-- the CART banner. Once you realize how bad you've made things, we can start to heal the problems.

Just think, there are 20 full time rides in each series. That's 40 cars. Throw in the temporary rides just for Indy, and you could have 50-60 cars fighting to make the field. Return Bump Day to the horror for teams it once was. Return your race to past glory. And return open-wheel racing to the top of the racing world, where it should be.

Girls Not Welcome?

For an open-wheel racing fan like me, May is the best month of the year. What does May mean to me? May means Indy-- a full month of buildup for the only race that matters, the Indianapolis 500.

Daytona sucks-- hell they race there twice in a season. And who cares about a bunch of beered-up rednecks watching another bunch of fucking rednecks do nothing but turn left in overpriced, overhyped hunks of metal.

NASCAR sucks-- again, rednecks, rednecks, and fucking rednecks. You can put the names of everyday cars on those pieces of shit, we know it's just a name-- the cars are all stock. There is zero technology in NASCAR-- none. At least Open-wheel racing brings in new technology-- we're talking turbochargers, carbon fibre, power steering, traction control, sequential gearboxes, seatbelts-- shit you see in your cars today-- it all came from open-wheel racing. Open-wheel is the breeding ground for the technology that comes back to your little Ford Escort that sits in your driveway. NASCAR is a waste-- seriously, have you ever seen a street legal car with a restrictor plate?

But the biggest problem with NASCAR is that it is nothing but "Good 'Ol Boys". It's an exclusive club. NASCAR has always been an elitist group-- racist and sexist. Look at its roots-- it started as southerners who were bootlegging-- drive as fast as you can so we can drink more alcohol sooner! Fuck, back in the 70s and 80s, NASCAR was all but unheard of in the north, racing was done under the conferderate Stars and Bars-- and it still is for the most part. Jeff Gordon is hated because he's a 'damn yankee'. Who was the last black man to have a regular ride in NASCAR? I can't remember one. When was the last time a woman ran a NASCAR race? I can only remember Shawna Robinson a couple years ago, and wasn't she Dale Earnhardt's cocktail waitress, or she went down on somebody or something to get that ride, and it wasn't a decent ride (her or the car).

I hate NASCAR with a passion. Dale Earnhardt (Jr. and Sr.), Kevin Harvick, Terry Labonte, Dale Jarret, Mark Martin-- they can all suck my left nut. You are worthless pieces of shit who need to find something better to do with your time. Fucks sakes, do you guys even know how to turn right?

That said, there are maybe four NASCAR drivers that I do cheer for when I find myself in the unfortunate situation where I can not escape NASCAR. Those four-- Tony Stewart, Robby Gordon, Christian Fittipaldi, and Casey Mears. Look at those names, all four have something in common. What is it? All open-wheelers. All four cut their teeth in real race cars. But one of them has just found himself on my shit list.

Robby Gordon-- what the fuck are you saying? In case you've missed it. And if you're a NASCAR fan you have (you might not even know about this if you follow the Indy 500). Robby Gordon feels that Indy Racing League rookie Danica Patrick has an advantage over the rest of the field. Gordon claims that he will not race in an Indy-style car unless there is a rule change because when he gets into a car, the car weighs 100 pounds more than a car with Patrick as a driver-- all cars weigh the same before being filled with fuel and having a driver placed inside of them.

First of all, if Patrick has this great advantage, why has she not won a race this season-- or last season for that matter? Secondly, are we to blame a 24-year old, 5'-0", 100-lb, prom queen because Robby Gordon spends too much time testing the new 14-billion calorie burger at Hardee's? And thirdly, where the fuck was this complaint when Sarah Fisher was racing Indy Cars a couple years ago? Sure, she was not a petite as Patrick, but she was certainly the lightest driver in the series.

Now, I understand part of what Gordon's arguement is. It's like at the Kentucky Derby where they can add weights to level the playing field. But unlike in horse racing, when it comes to cars, it's more about aerodynamics, not weight. Those two cars with the 100-pound difference in weight, will handle differently because of the forces of nature, and lighter is not necessarily faster, as Gordon claims. But when it comes to auto racing, it is always safety first, and adding weight to a driver or a car is not possible because it is not safe. Believe me, I know. I have driven Indy Cars before, I've tested for drivers who have weighed less than me-- and it causes more problems than it solves-- and it's why I no longer test cars with any regularity. I was considered "heavy" for a driver at 175 pounds, I'm now 210 pounds, and not in shape to handle such sophisticated machines. If it were as simple as shaking down a car, I'm fine, but with testing time at a premium, putting me in a car is a waste of time because you will get no accurate information when it comes to qualifying and racing set ups. And I've seen Robby Gordon in person, there is no way in hell he is 200 pounds or more (ESPN.com lists Gordon at 180 pounds). Apparently, I'm in perfect shape to get my fat ass into a stock car.

Mr. Gordon, shut your mouth-- stop talking and stop eating-- and concentrate on your own driving. I see your comments as a sign that you (and probably many others) are afraid that your little elitist world may no longer be such an exclusive club. George Mack threatened the colour barrier, and Danica Patrick is threatening the gender barrier. It would be interesting to read what Janet Guthrie has to say on how she was treated on Gasoline Alley. We know Lyn St. James was not well liked. And I witnessed the open arms with which Tony George welcomed Sarah Fisher-- and he has done the same with Danica. Of course, TG is just looking to keep his hipocrtical series afloat, and with women such as Fisher (who set the bar for Danica) and Danica being so competitive, all of a sudden there is a new group of fans in racing-- GIRLS! These girls are breaking the stereotypes, they are pioneers, and they are popular. Both Fisher (who is now actually attempting to revive her career in stock cars) and Patrick face enormous pressure from being the only well-known females in a male-dominated sport. God speed to them. I say, let them race, let them race under the rules that are laid out before them, and lets see if they can compete. What are we afraid of?

Welcome to Internet Hell

So my friend continues to hound me about starting a blog. I tried to warn him that nobody wants to know what I have to say, and those who do know are innocent bystanders-- and prefer not to know. Besides, exactly what could I bring to a blog? I dragged my feet, I tried to hold off. I just didn't want the novelty of my rantings and ravings to wear off. If I'm pissed off enough to want to make myself heard, I'll find a way-- a time and a place-- to do it. Still, the houndings continued. I gave in. I am no longer a novelty-- I have joined the rest of you. I feel my opinion means enough to combat whatever you have to say.

I cannot guarentee I will udpate everyday, but if I have something to say, it will be done here. I'm not going to step on the toes of my colleagues who also have blogs, but they should not feel safe from my ranting and raving on their blogs either.

This is the place for my anger-- and I live in a 'red' state, full of red-clad morons (Nebraska)... the anger will be prominent. There will be sports gallore, there will be politics, there will even be the occaisional pounding on the way people are-- again, I live in Nebraska-- it needs to be said.

And so to all of you, I say welcome to Internet Hell. It is up to you to decide if it is a good place, or a bad place. And if you really think this is a waste fo time-- well then, blame Matty and AJ.