O! What a Disaster

OK, I've made it no secret that I don't like Omaha. And just about everybody knows that as soon as I graduate, I'm getting the hell out of Dodge... if I ever get out of the construction that is West Dodge Road. I've been here just over 11 years now (off and on-- my parents have been here for all of them, though I had a couple years of an espace to reality mixed in), and I still don't feel like I belong. I mean, I think it's pretty sad that I'd rather be back in a culturaly-diverse neighbourhood of Cincinnati-- during their annual race riots, than live in this glorified cornfield.

Even professionally, as a journalist, Omaha is a black hole. It will be a cold day in hell before I work for an Omaha media entity. It's sad. Everything the people in the State of Nebraska do, talks Omaha up as this major metropolis. If you buy into that, you'll be thoroughly disappointed. I'd rather go work in Glendive, Montana (the smallest of Nielsen's 210 markets) and work my way up, then be handed a job in Omaha (75th largest).

People here talk about how great downtown Omaha his, with it's skyscrapers, and state-of-the-art architecture. It's two fucking twigs-- the Woodmen Tower, and the First National Bank building-- maybe three, if you have the right view (though the Mutual of Omaha building is only like 12 stories, and on a hill).

The talk of the town has been the gem of Omaha-- the "Daub-acle"-- Qwest Center Omaha, a shiny arena/convention center with a capacity for basket ball of 17,400 (and rising-- they're expanding just 3 years after opening in a hope to draw NCAA tournament assignments). I'll admit, QCO is an impressive arena-- but it's more than this city needs, and it's run by a group of mental midgets (just like most of the rest of the town).

You see, the City of Omaha has NEVER invested in civic planning-- they just fly by the seats of their pants, and fall victim to "monkey see, monkey do". See: Wells Fargo Arena - Sprint Center - Qwest Center Omaha for more details.

But the way the arena is run says a lot about the city. They aim for college-level events. Fuck that. Seriously, you want to be a big city, you got to pull in some BIG events-- NCAA Championships will not cut it. Then again, this is a college sports town in a college sports state. Never gonna grow up with that attitude.

Which brings me back to the media-- which should really be referred to as the mediums. The media in this town is a joke. Sure a couple of people from the local media have hit the big time (Johnny Carson, and Floyd Kalber), but I can't remember any recent graduates of the Omaha market-- with the exception of Michael Scott (you might not recognize him when he's not going balistic after having an iguana jump on him).

You see, it's an Omaha tradition to half-heart things, then let them die as an afterthought. The University of Nebraska at Omaha , the Omaha Ak-Sar-Ben Knights of the American Hockey League, the Omaha Royals of the Pacific Coast League, Eppley Airfield, and the Durham Western Heritage Museum are all great examples of how well Omaha is at keeping interest in this town. Great ideas come here to die-- and they do so in record time. Add television careers to that list.

I got a good laugh when a documentary producer, who graduated for Westside High School, here in Omaha said he could remember when anchorman John Knicely worked at Channel 7 like 20 years ago. Wow, in 20 years all Knicely could manage was a move from Channel 7 to Channel 6? Not really moving up in the world are we?

I know why he hasn't gotten very far. He sucks as an anchor. People who have worked with Knicely have said he's great at reading a promptor, but when he has to adlib, he can't do it. They're right-- if you watch Channel 6 with Knicely, if he has to go off teleprompter, he's totally screwed-- he has no personality.

Even the content of the news is laughable. The sports crews from the local media will "cover" Omaha Royals games. And by "cover" I mean, they show up at Rosenblatt, eat the media foodspread, wait for the first Omaha run of the game (or the 5th inning-- whichever comes first), then leave.

What the fuck? Now, I understand you have a deadline to make-- so I'll excuse the Fox affiliate from this (who, by the way, are usually the last to leave)-- but you can't show me the leadoff homerun in the first, then tell me the Royals would add 6 more runs (it does happen from time to time) and won 7-6. No, you better be there to tell the story of the game. Be there when the bullpen blows the game. Be there when Kansas City prospect Justin Huber hits a walk off homer in the bottom of the 9th. Be there when the benches empty following a series of beanballs. And for fuck's sakes, just because the team is on the road doesn't mean we don't care what they do. Send someone with the team for highlights-- the newspaper should send someone to tell us the story of the game, instead of relying on wire reports-- or talk to you affiliates in the market of the game for the highlights. Do something instead of just reading a score.

I have no interest in working in a market with such low standards. Even the new media market in Peoria, Illinois does a better job than the blowhards in Omaha. Maybe I'll go to Glendive to see how they do the news.