I Am What I Am

I've been called a lot of things in my 25+ years on this planet.

I've been called: Chris, Christopher, Christoph, Christo-Andre, Boehm (and it's many possible pronunciations), Reeses, Bodo, Crash, Nebraska, Boheems, Sam, stripes, zebra, blind, dumbshit, asshole, fucker, shithead, moron, idiot, rookie, cocksucker, motherfucker, (someone keeps calling me a homo on this blog), train wreck, dipshit, fraud, brother, son, boy, sir, cousin, friend, and many more...

I've been told I am: nice, mean, smart, dumb, generous, abrasive, down to earth, conceited, creepy, , oblivious, charming, cute, attractive, annoying, condescending, immature, responsible, irresponsible, independent, interdependent, gay, sad, normal, freaky, polite, inconsiderate, loyal, deceitful, contemporary, modern, old-fashioned, a throwback, intelligent, sophomoric, thoughtful, thoughtless, stereotypical, unique, the list goes on...

Is this what they mean by complex personality? Apparently, I have my moments. And some of you have me all wrong.

Nonetheless, it's immaterial. It doesn't bother me-- or more accurately, it doesn't effect me. Because no matter what anyone says about me, only I know who I am.

I am what I am, and that's all I'm going to be:

I am the boy next door.
I am a college student.
I am proud of what I have achieved.
I am proud of what I have earned.
I am proud of where I've been.
I am proud to be an American.
I am not a native of Nebraska.
I was born near Chicago.
I live in Omaha.
I am from Winnipeg.
I have played junior hockey.
I have redshirted a college season.
I have been on a Division-1 college hockey roster.
I am unscored upon in my D-1 career.
I am the walrus (coo coo kachoo).
I still live with my parents.
I still don't know where I will be this time next year.
I am shy.
I am proud.
I am humble.
I am woman, hear me roar-- No, that's not right.
I have a brain.
I have a heart.
I have feelings.
I have pain.
I have my rights-- and if you don't like it, you have the right to remain silent.
I have lived in Canada.
I am not a lumberjack.
I did not live in an igloo.
I did not drive a dogsled.
I did not eat blubber.
I pronouce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing.
I believe in diversity, not assimilation.
I believe the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
I do not know Jimmy, or Gord, or Suzy from Canada, but am sure they are very nice.
I am Canadian.
I am German.
I am Swedish.
I am Scotch.
I am Welsh.
I am British.
I am Irish.
I am Northern Irish-- so, I'll have to blow up your car.
I have been a hockey player.
I have been a soccer player.
I have been a baseball player.
I have been a cameraman.
I have been a chef.
I have been a butcher.
I have been a baker-- but never a candlestick maker.
I believe in God.
I do not believe in Aetheism.
I believe in equality.
I believe in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I believe communism is a utopian concept.
I believe greed will always keep us from true communism, and thus true equality.
I am rambling on and on... and on... and on... and on.
I am tired.
I am going to bed.
I am Sam.

Sam I am.