Who Are You to Judge?

Call me a hypocrite. We are all guilty of it. And there is no other way to talk about it than to be hypocritical. You know what I'm refering to.

Those little comments we make about each other to our friends. Some of us are worse than others. But why do we do it? It is one of those things that we find socially acceptable because everyone else does it?

I just don't get what you can accomplish by talking about someone (and their life) to a third party. My mother is the worst at this. She can't help but make her own commentary about the way someone lives. She blasts me, my father, my brother, her father, her mother-- and there is irony there-- her in-laws, her friends, her coworkers, her patients, people she just met... nobody is safe.

And most of the time it's about people I don't know, or something I don't care to know about. And I understand, when she bags on my brother, or me. File that under "Mother Allegedly Knows Best". And my dad, classify that as nagging. But her parents? If I were to talk to her like that, I'd have to deal with her wrath. You know, that point in time when your mother says to you: "I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it, too." (Whatever that means, I don't think that will fly in court on a murder charge, but OK, whatever.)

The irony is, her mother is the same way-- and my mom can't stand it. When her parents come to visit, a frequent sound is of my grandmother talking about people who my mother met once, when she was 6 (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, people wrote with feathers, and televisions had no colour-- when TVs were just black and white, could people see in colour? Or was it like 'Pleasantville'?), and going through the entire history, all while my mother rolls her eyes and grinds her teeth. If you don't like it when your mother does it-- why torture us?

And then there is a friend of mine. Always talking about her sister, her brother-in-law, her parents... to me. Why? I hardly know these people. Do I care that you think your brother-in-law is a useles pile of dung? Do I care that you think your sister made the biggest mistake of her life? No. But if you care so much-- tell her, see how that goes over.

The point is, it's not your life. You didn't make the decisions. And there is certainly nothing you can do or say to change it-- especially when you say it to a third party! People do learn from their mistakes. And we all make mistakes. None of us are perfect-- and as such, none of us have any reason to think we could do better with someone else's life. So stop doing it!