Looking Through the Cage

'Roid Raging

2009-07-31T15:43:00.002-05:00

Apparently there was more to steroids than we thought.

We know they increase you muscle mass, and shrink your testicles. I didn't know they also inflated egos and shrunk brains.

Well, now that I look at the last three -- I'm not surprised Congress is in the middle of this mess.

Really, there is a simple end to all this Major League Baseball steroid talk.

Inject truth.

Yesterday we found out that two members of the 2003 Boston Red Sox -- David Ortiz and the previously-suspended Manny Ramirez -- tested positive during what was supposed to be anonymous drug testing during that season. Today, pitcher Bronson Arroyo, also a member of that Boston team, admitted he used Adrostinedione -- the same supplement taken by former Oakland and St. Louis slugger Mark McGwire.

There is so much wrong about this situation, that you almost use up all your rage on the situation before you even get a chance to be pissed about perceived cheating... if in fact you feel that is what it is.

Now, Ramirez failed a drug test this year and was suspended -- so there is zero shock factor that he is one of the 104 players who tested positive. Meanwhile, Arroyo's name has not been connected with that test, but he is coming clean. You have to respect Arroyo for that -- the same respect you should give marginal MLB pitcher Jim Parque (yeah, I know... most of you are asking 'who?'), who admitted his use recently.

Arroyo and Parque are doing it right. They are admitting their mistakes, talking about the effects, but not promoting it.

Ortiz is taking a very similar approach. At this point in time, we have to take the man at his word -- that until yesterday he did not know he had tested positive.

Yes, Ortiz was a marginal player with the Minnesota Twins before signing with Boston. And, yes, he seems to be fading into the twilight of his career. But, does that mean he was using steroids in between?

No.

As I mentioned before, there is so much wrong with the circumstances under which we are learning more about this 2003 drug test.

Let's start with the fact that the results were not properly disposed of following the test itself. The test was supposed to be a baseline for MLB to gauge what the level of use was. The fact that someone still has the list is a MAJOR problem.

Even Stevie Wonder could have seen where this was going to end up. Someone was going to blackmail someone else. Congress has the list, and is pressuring MLB executives. The MLB Players Association has the list, and they might be the only people who rightfully should still have access to the list. But somehow the New York media has the list -- at least parts of it -- and are doing the most dispicable of things... releasing the names on the list, one or two names as a time at steady intervals.

It is no shock to me that of the names that have come off the list, one is a high-profile Yankees player (Alex Rodriguez), one is dead (Ken Caminiti), one was in a chase to break Yankee right-fielder Roger Maris' single-season home run record (Sammy Sosa), and now two played for the Boston Red Sox. Four have threatened to take the spotlight off of New York, and the other (A-Roid) could be seen as protecting New York and its image.

This is no different than the Democrats jumping all over Rush Limbaugh -- who I recently referred to as the 'Oxycodone Blimp' (just for you, Tom) -- for his pain killer addiction and shooting his mouth off like the racist moron he is. And no different than the Republicans becoming the vehicle by which the 'Birther' movement is being permitted to persist.

I have two solutions.

One solution is for Congress to release the names on the list. Right now, that is being blocked by the MLBPA, in the courts, on the basis that there isn't supposed to be a list. However, Congress holds the trump card -- three magic words: "Anti-Trust Exemption."

The other solution is far easier, and much more founded on ethical ground. The MLBPA needs to release the names on the list. There will certainly be fallout from this action, but by releasing the names you can end the speculation.

It's called a clean break. Gets the names out there, and what they tested positive for. No questions.

What many people don't know about the 2003 drug test is that MLB tested for drugs and supplements that were not banned at the time, in addition to steroids and human-growth hormones.

So, is it possible that Ortiz, like Arroyo and McGwire was taking something that was not banned at the time, but was tested for? Or, is this something where we didn't know the ingredients of a supplement, or simply didn't think to look for.

A positive test from 2003 is not nearly as bad as a positive test today. We know so much more about steroids (and we will simple classify all of these items as such for now) now than we did back then. McGwire took 'Andro' as a supplement to prevent injuries -- he stopped taking it under intense media scrutiny, and his career ended shortly after. We still don't know if 'Andro' is actually dangerous to the body, but someone was offended by its use.

On a personal note, I would like to see all these supplements and steroids out of sports. As a former athlete, myself, I will stand up and say there is no place for their use. I have also gone on record as saying the use of free weights, and weight training is vastly abused. I never took weight lifting seriously, and have spoken out about the inherent danger of 'maxing out'.

Perhaps it is why I washed out as a college athlete. But I am proud of what I accomplished, and doing so cleanly, ethically, and humbly. So what if, as former Bears quarterback Jim Miller once said: "nobody is waiving dollar bills in my direction when I take my shirt off." That's not what being an athlete is about.

Being an athlete is about having the God-given ability to do something, and the fortune to be able to make a living doing so.

We need to put the focus back on that ability -- it is the positive side of sports.

'Birthers': Giving Birth to Idiocy

2009-07-28T01:43:00.003-05:00

Dear Birthers,
What kind of radical white-supremacist bull**** are you attempting to promote here?
The questions over the legitimacy of President Barack Obama's birth certificate are simply ludicrous and gross.

Just nine months ago, we as a nation made history. We were able to see beyond the color of a man's skin. We, for the first time, elected a man of color to lead this great nation.

Apparently, my optimism that racism was slowly becoming less and less is false. I have come to understand that most of this issue concerning the citizenship of the President of the United States is nothing more than blind rage driven by two of the greatest of all evils to exist -- partisanship and racism.

I would like to say, that not all Republicans are guilty in this. But, when town hall meetings for Republican legislators are the sounding board for this -- the issue may not rest with the representatives themselves, but run much deeper within the party.

Congressman Mike Castle of Delaware handled the issue very well. He needs to be commended for it. However, the people who booed him for making his statement, really need to feel great shame for their actions.

Now, I would like to think that all people are of solid intellect, and that this is just something the blew up out of someone's confusion -- and that nobody caught the error in the first ill-conceived judgement.

Perhaps someone was thinking that because the President was born in Hawai'i, that he was not born in the United States. This would be a simple error, and possibly very easy to make. Many baby-boomers were born before Hawai'i was granted statehood.

The President in not a baby-boomer. He was born in 1961 -- two years after Hawai'i gained status as a United State. Even had he been born before 1959, in Hawai'i -- he still would have been born an American citizen.

Hawai'i has been part of the United States since 1898.

It is also possible that someone was mistaken when they found out that one of the candidates in our last Presidential Election was not born in the United States.

Many would probably assume that was Obama. In fact, it was John McCain. McCain was born in Panama, during the construction of the Panama Canal, to American parents.

Some may question whether McCain was legitimately born in the United States. But, I believe (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that having been born at a Naval Air Station, McCain in fact was considered to have been born within the United States -- similar to be being born in an American Embassy.

Regardless, both McCain and Obama have at least one American citizen as a parent, which would render the location of the birth moot. The United States grants citizenship to people who are born within its boundaries, and also those born outside of its boundaries -- provided they are born to a parents who is a citizen.

That of course would bring up the issue of dual-citizenship, which is not within the realm of this entry.

The above is simply the most polite way to view the issue. Unfortunately, it has occurred to me that this has carried well beyond being just an honest mistake.

So, I must ask why.

As much as I want to say this could be a product of die-hard Republicans, who are just sour over losing the White House. I don't think this can be blamed solely on the political system in the country.

I think the root is much deeper. I think, simply put, the issue is racism.

Why is McCain's birth not being questioned? Is it because he is white?

To be blunt, there are still millions of people who have forgotten that the Civil War ended 140-some years ago... and that the Confederates lost. We still have major issues with racism, and that is a shame.

We currently reside in a nation where we still look down on people based on appearance. They are different, and we don't like them. Sad.

Really, I think 'Birthers' are nothing more than white supremacists. People so upset that blacks, hispanics, and other ethnic groups are not being repressed. How sad it is for these ill-minded racists.

I'm betting they are the same people who are pissed to no end about immigration -- both legal and illegal.

You have to wonder how shallow-minded these people are. I would hate to stereotype these people, but they seem to come from a certain culture -- as all racism does. It was once said that racism is taught... which brings us to lineage.

Every person who lives in the great nation has ancestry from some other nation. Look in the mirror, then talk to your family. Where are you from? Someone in your family, somewhere, was not an American citizen.

Then stop to think about religion. Of the major religions, look at the diversity that exists.

Christians have Jesus Christ -- a Jew born of African decent -- and for all intents and purposes your ancestry can be traced back to Noah... who lived where? We call it the Middle East, now.

Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims... all from roughly the same area. In Asia. And you're telling me are going to judge people based on where their relatives are from?

People need to think before they start spouting off about others. Think about who you are. How you got here.

It may sound hypocritical for me to say something like this, but racists -- specifically white supremacists -- are dead wrong. There is absolutely nothing to justify such actions.

As far as I am concerned, the racists and white supremacists... with their misconceptions and wishes to violate the rights of others... need to think of the alternative. They have no right infringe on the rights of any other person in this world.

This nation was founded by immigrants, and has (for the most part) kept its doors open to all who wish pursue freedom -- and do so legally.

Thus, if you do not like something about the United States of America, specifically regarding how people look. Get the hell out.

Red Lights...

2009-02-17T00:41:00.003-06:00

...and they certainly aren't for goals in hockey.

There is no secret here. I live for hockey. For the past 28 years there has been very little of my life that has not involved hockey -- as a player, a coach, an official, or just as a fan.

It pains me to see this, but the NHL needs a change.

OK, you're going -- didn't they have a lockout over big change? Yes they did. But they only fixed one aspect of the game. The lockout was all about money.

There in lies the problem. Yes, it is a business, but NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman (who actually ranks below Tony George on my list of sports executives, if you can imagine that) only seems to grasp the concept of money, and has totally taken his eyes off the game.

Now, since he got his Salary Cap... er, excuse me... COST CERTAINTY, he has continued his ill-fated efforts to make the NHL the NBA. Let's remember, he was David Stern's #2 man, before starting his personal jihad against the game of hockey.

Monetary control -- he has that now. So now he is still on his quest to bring more scoring to the NHL. Good concept, poor execution. Really, Bettman is under the impression that scoring brings excitement, and that brings more money.

WRONG.

Scoring is a good thing, but there is plenty of excitement in a 2-1 hockey game. I'll put it this way. In any given basketball game, there are nearly 100 scoring plays. So... what constitutes a highlight? I don't care to see a ten-foot jump shot, which puts a team up 2-0 in a game that will end 94-82. Likewise, maybe a team goes on a 14-6 run in the third quarter to open up a lead... but what makes any of those points more important than points one and two? Points 93 and 94 in that game certainly are anti-climactic as well.

Less is more in this case.

Yes, there is a small problem with scoring in the NHL. But, it is not something that is a quick fix. You can not tweak one thing to fix this problem. This is what we call a systematic problem. The whole system is screwed.

1. Goaltending Pads. I'm going to hate myself in the morning for saying this. But, since the days of Garth Snow putting what appeared to be a 36" x 36" plywood board down the front of his sweater, and Robert Luongo's 42"-tall goal pads (for those of you keeping track, and hockey goal is just 48" high), the over-grown goaltender has become a major issue.

Take a look at former Los Angeles Kings goaltender Kelly Hrudey, circa 1995. Compare him to current Anaheim Ducks goaltender Jean-Sebastien Gigure, and you will see what I mean.

Better yet, look at former NHL goaltender Patrick Roy in his rookie season with Montreal, and then at him in his final season in Colorado. No, he didn't grow... maybe a bit more tone in the muscles, but not THAT much.

The size of the pads does need to come down a bit. And maybe they should be less "boxy", and more form-fitting like they used to be. Goaltenders back then didn't get hurt as often -- but that might leads us back to my rant against weight training.

2. Penalty Shots. What was once considered "the most exciting play in hockey" has been bastardized. Bettman decreed that more people wanted to see penalty shots, because they are exciting.

WRONG.

They're exciting because they are so rare. Now, not a day goes by in the NHL without a penalty shot -- either in-game, or in a tie-breaker.

What Bettman has done is the equivalent of MLB Commissioner Bud Selig telling a team they can not use bats in a game because no-hitters are exciting. You can't make these things happen -- they just happen on their own accord. It's the right set of circumstances coming together.

2-1/2. Ties. Not every game needs a winner. Some days neither team deserves to win. Some days neither team deserves to lose. Some days the teams are just that evenly matched.

What is with the concept of instant gratification? Forget it! Ties are a part of the game... in hockey (not baseball, Mr. Selig).

Mr. Bettman, get rid of the tie-breaker shootout. You want games with no ties... you already have it -- it's called playoff hockey.

2-3/4. Playoff Hockey Overtime. You want proof that you don't need scoring to have an exciting game? 1987, New York Islanders vs. Washington Capitals. 1996, Washington Capitals vs. Pittsburgh Penguins. 2000, Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Philadelphia Flyers. 2007, Dallas Stars vs. Vancouver Canucks. 2008, San Jose Sharks vs. Dallas Stars

What all of these games have in common, is that went to at least four overtime periods. That means for at least 60 minutes (the length of an entire game... after the 60 minutes of regulation playing time) there was no scoring. But, these games only needed on goal to end them. Talk about excitement. I remember being up until my parents went to work watching some of these games.

At the same time, even in regulation a one-goal game is exciting. The struggle for that tying goal is epic, at times.

3. Diluted Talent. For many years, the NHL was 6-team league. Then it doubled to 12 teams. Eventually the league was up to 20 teams for the longest time, before 1992 and San Jose made 21 teams. By the end of the decade, the league would be up to 30 teams.

The addition of those 10 teams, meant 200 more spots on NHL rosters. 200 players, who traditionalist say would never have made it to the league. OK... some would have eventually cracked rosters, but many would still be toiling away in the minors, maybe even improving their skills against a more equal talent level.

There are others who would argue that among those 200 spots are 20 goaltender spots -- and it the skaters talent pool is diluted, so too is the goaltending talent. Yes and no. There are certainly some goaltenders who do not belong in the NHL. But you are still looking at a 10 to 1 ratio of skaters to goaltenders. Statistical logic says your talent curve is bound to fall off more from 1 to 200 than it is from 1 to 20.

4. Poor Market Location. This is the big one. This is where Bettman really faltered. He expanded the league too quickly. Not only does that hurt the talent pool, but it hurts the growth of the game.

In terms of the talent pool, 200 more players in 10 years in addition to replacing retired players stunts the development programs of the NHL teams. A top young talent is now forced up sooner, as well as a player who maybe doesn't have the all around skill set to complete. However, eventually the talent pool should restock itself, even though lesser talents are getting the call.

With the markets, it's the opposite. Expansion was driven not by need, but by novelty. Non-traditional markets in the south (Atlanta, Miami, Tampa Bay, Nashville, and Anaheim) were all given a chance... in addition to relocation projects (Dallas from Minnesota, Raleigh from Hartford, Phoenix from Winnipeg).

Fans flocked to the gates for the first few seasons. It was a novelty. People just wanted to see what it was all about. Unfortunately, they did not understand the game, just wanted to be seen at the games, and inferior talent on the ice made games less entertaining. Now most of these markets are in trouble.

The game just hasn't grown in these markets. Fewer fans are going to games, and that means less money for the teams. The problem was, the expansion was driven by greed. Potential for money, and state-of-the art buildings lured teams and the league. Suffice it to say, it was all too good to be true.

Add it all up, and you have one hurting league. There is not just one fix... though, if you want to make look like one fix, I'll tell you where to start: Gary Bettman. Get rid of the problem at the top, and replace him with someone who understands the game.

From there you can proceed wisely into the future, with a system that works.

Welcoming You To the Digital Age... is Gordon Jump

2009-01-07T02:00:00.001-06:00

(Anybody get the reference?)

The following post is my response to Vent Casey's DTV Transition Report: They’re Out of Coupons?

A lot of this whole conversion is propaganda. So much information is not being released, it’s not even funny. Even the people who work in television don’t have a clue.

Here’s what I do know, that can help clear things up.

1. If you have bought a TV in the past couple of years — there is a very good chance you have nothing to fear. By mandate any TV manufactured since 2005 is supposed to be able to support HD-TV. You need only an antenna — and, yes, your old rabbit ears WILL work (if you have them on an HD-ready TV). On HD-ready sets, the conversion happens inside the tele. You’re good to go. You only need to covert once (at the antenna or monitor)… one HD setup per monitor is all that is needed.

If you have a cable box, you have nothing to fear. Yes, the government is throwing around a 10-cent word to hype it up (coverter). Every cable box distributed by the cable companies is supposed to, and probably already is accepting HD signals, then converting them back to analog if that is what your TV takes. If you get your cable directly from wall to monitor, you might have some issues, unless you have an HD-ready set. Again… just once coversion — this time, box or screen.

2. There is almost zero benefit in going to HD. Unfortunately, the decision of whether to switch over was taken out of our hands. You will experience EXACTLY the same problems you had with an analog signal. Bad weather, antenna placement, and signal quality will still be a factor.

Right now, I have an HD-ready TV behind me. When I first got it, I put the old analog antenna on it — I got both analog and HD channels. But I didn’t get all of them. So, being thoroughly uneducated by the government, I went out and bought an HD antenna. It makes no difference. I still get the same channels… and it’s not all of the channels available in the area. Come February, the HD antenna will go to a non-HD unit… I will simply switch out the antennae between units.

3. No offense to you Vent, but I am calling bullshit on this clearer picture with HD. Colors are bolder, but no clearer… and, as a professional in the field, I can tell you that the field of focus when shooting in HD is much shallower. Backgrounds are not in as much focus as they were in standard format. That’s because the piece of glass at the front of the camera has a different shape.

The conversion from analog to digital will take us from an aspect ratio (viewing window) of 4:3 to 16:9. It sounds impressive… it isn’t. It’s letterboxing. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you’ve squared two numbers to make bigger numbers. The pixels are smaller, and you have a few more pixels on the sides. It’s just more things to go wrong.

Really, does anything happen to those sides? Maybe you can see the back of someones head in a movie… and maybe you’ll see the cornerback jump a route a fraction of a second sooner. But all the main attraction is still in the center of the monitor. When you get to the boundaries of sports — it just means you can see the jackass in row 10, instead of only seeing rows 1 thru 5.

Any difference you are seeing, is probably the result of a new unit. I’m guessing you are peering into an HD-Flat Panel (not the same as a flat screen). A flat screen (the same size as a standard tube television from 10 years ago) and a flat panel (looks like a picture frame) produce images differently. In 3-5 years, those flat panels will look no different than the flat screen, and possibly look more like a projection. This is because flat panel Liquid Crystal Display (LCD) monitors need to be reconfigured — basically the light needs to be refocused.

Ever sat at Buffalo Wild Wings and noticed a magenta shadow around everything on the big projection screens? The magenta (red) light is out of alignment. Same effect on LCDs.

Say hello to maintenance costs and the Sears repairman.

I hope I haven’t ruined the experience for you, but the information and facts need to get out there. It’s scare tactics. Someone in the television industry as a Senator or Congressman in their pocket.

Really, we should be concentrating on broader issues. It was only because the iPod and internet have taken a sizeable chunk out of the electronics market from the television. It was just the first “bailout”. A little more appropriate than aimlessly throwing money around, but not by much.

One Word Tells the Story

2008-09-28T00:10:00.002-05:00

With one magic word John McCain ensure himself of not getting my vote. Even if he was running against Hilary Clinton... or even David Duke. I would not vote for him.

This goes far beyond me being grossly bored with his quadrennial runs for the White House. It goes beyond the fact that he is what President Bush would call a 'flip-flopper'. But with just one persistently used word, I know he does not have what it takes to be the president.

Pre-condition.

Cue former Indianapolis Colts head coach Jim Mora: "Pre-condition??? Pre-condition??? I'm not... Pre-condition???" (...and that should cover my sports reference in this entry... ...or not -- I think I've got one more.)

How about Allen Iverson: "We're talking about pre-conditions. We're not talking about conversations, we're talking about pre-conditions. The fate of the entire world could be at stake and we're talking about pre-conditions. This is about nuclear war, and we're talking about pre-conditions. Not diplomacy, pre-conditions..."

Really, Senator McCain. What the hell are you thinking?

For those of you who missed the Presidential Debate last night, the gentleman from Arizona attacked the gentleman from Illinois over Obama's willingness to meet with Mahmoud Amaddini... Ammahdin... er, um... the president of Iran (that would be, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad) about his possible nuclear arsenal, without pre-condition.

Um... I'm not a legislator, not a representative of this government. But even I know you can't invite someone to dinner, then tell them there are rules about coming to dinner. The point is to open the lines of conversation.

Comedian Eddie Izzard jokes that Britain's foreign policy used to consist of closing its eyes and not wanting to hear what was really going on. Thanks to President Bush -- we're pretty close to that. We're more tunnel vision on terror -- and I still maintain you can't declare war on an inanimate object -- than ignoring. But it is still dangerous.

It leads me to believe that McCain, like Bush, would prefer to not talk to Iran (or North Korea, for that matter) because we don't agree with their views. I say tough shit. Nobody can tell anybody else what to believe, or what to do.

Besides, there is a common believe that in North Korea's case, they are developing nuclear arms in an attempt to get out attention. You know that movie/TV line "I've got you attention now" while holding a gun to someone's head? Yeah, this would be it.

As the most powerful nation in the world, we need to be diplomats first. That means, not trying to force anyone into something they don't want to do. It also means we need to lead by example. To do that, we need to open up to EVERYONE... not just our allies.

Think about it. The policy of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" as really gotten us into this mess. We armed Hussein in Iraq to piss off Iran. We armed bin Laden, and we installed Castro because we hated Bautista. Maybe we should stop messing with other governments internally, and just deal with what exists.

Talk to Iran. Talk to North Korea. Maybe all they want is to be seen with the cool kids. Diplomacy goes a long way when it is pure. The answer is not war, it's not arming up for nuclear holocaust. The answer is in talking through your problems.

Obama seems willing to explore that PEACEFUL possibility, while not excluding the option that if such diplomacy does not work, that then (and ONLY THEN) do you need to escalate to sanctions or possible military action.

Political Party: Let's Play 'Presidents and Ass******'.

2008-09-02T00:42:00.004-05:00

Happy day off work, today, America (and Canada). While the rest of you are out on a long weekend -- travelling, barbecuing, or celebrating in your own way -- I'm here, with nothing better to do.

OK, I have better things to do.

But, last week the two sides in the Presidential Election made their selections of running mates to help head the tickets. As always, I have an opinion.

Ironically, the title of this blog might be a bit deceiving.

Republicans: I can't tell you how much they make me hate politics, right now. It's never been a secret that I oppose the political party system. Last week, and this week, just remind me why.

Now, the Democrats seem to be getting on my good side, nothing really controversial there. The Republicans are really starting to piss me off. (Actually, they've had me pissed off for a while... but it's getting worse.) I don't mind the normal politics that go on -- those can be ignored... or at least I can claim I've become accustomed to them.

But, two things are really bothering me. First of all, the selection of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as John McCain's running mate. I have no problems with her. I'm sure she is very qualified for the position. In fact, I think mayors and governors are more qualified to handle the Executive Branch offices, than Senators and Representatives cough*laywers*cough, because they have to deal with ALL the facets of the world in their decisions.

What is grinding my gears, is that it is dirty politics by the Republican party as a whole. I would love to think that Palin was the first choice for the job. Let's face it, she wasn't. Nobody had even mentioned her. It is clear that McCain and the Elephants are using Palin because of her gender. It is a clear attack on Barack Obama for not choosing Hillary Clinton as his running mate. That should not be the point being made.

We will revisit Hillary in just a few moments.

The major issue I have with the selection of Palin, is that she is out of play for attacks. Really, I love the idea that you can't make a personal attack on someone in a campaign. It should be law. But it's not, and Palin will be the only one of the four ticket-headers who will be off limits. That makes it an unfair advantage for the Republicans, and thus cheating.

Nothing against Palin and her family. But really, what the Republicans have done is make an issue of a non-issue, while unintentionally making an issue of what should be a non-issue turned issue by the limelight, yet decreeing it a non-issue. (Everybody got that?)

OK, in slow-mo...

The Republicans are going to play up Palin's son's deployment to Iraq, wrongly proclaiming: "He's a soldier, serving his country, and which makes him and his parents patriots!"

His decision to serve, has nothing to do with Palin. Her son made the decision on his own, and did so AFTER Palin started her political career.

The Reds (LOL... I think that's what I should call them from now on.) Will also push the son's service as the end result of good parenting.

But there is a major problem... two, actually. What about the un-wed pregnant teenage daughter? Somebody was too busy with work to pay attention to the kids -- and that works as a strike against both men and women. Beyond that, the Reds will declare her parenting skills out of bounds, because her youngest child -- an infant -- has Down's Syndrome.

You can't be selective here. This is not poker. It's all in, or all out. Either there can be mention of the children at all, or everything is fair game -- like the fact that she hid her most recent pregnancy for eight months.

In summary, while we are currently living out the final 8 years of Michael Moore's "Canadian Bacon" (where America declares war because war boosts the President's approval ratings), we are not potentially looking at 4 more years of life based on a movie. Should McCain win, we will be living in Aaron Sorkin's "The American Preisdent" (where Richard Dreyfus claims to have lost an election because he could run a personal attack campaign because Michael Douglas was a widower).

Democrats: I love the choice of Joe Biden as Obama's running mate. I am sorry that Hillary was denied a shot at history, but in the end it SHOULD not come down to who will bring you more votes... it SHOULD come down to who will bring you more votes, because they are the right person for the job.

Now, this blog could turn very biased, very quick. Let's just say that about a year ago, before the primaries, I visited a website where I put in my personal opinions on the issues and how much they matter to me. The website matched me with my ideal Presidential Candidate.

It was Joe Biden.

Ironically, about a week before I took that online survey, I had the opportunity to meet Senator Biden here in Omaha, when he made a speech on campus. I also met his neice -- who was a very lovely young woman. I really enjoyed the extended conversation I had with her, and wish I could continue to talk to her -- but, let's face it... not going to happen. That is, unless she stumbles across this blog and remembers who I am.

Back on topic, Joe Biden's stance on many issues are in line with mine. Therefore, to keep this blog from becoming overwhelmingly one-sided, I will end the conversation over Biden, here.

Bet we can look at why I didn't think Clinton was a good choice as a Vice President. I'm sure Senator Obama would agree that Clinton was worthy of the nomination, both for President and Vice President. I am also certain that, should he win, he will have a place for her.

I'm thinking Secretary of State.

Despite the fact that a family friend of mine frequently refers to Clinton's husband as "that sleazeball Razorback", and despite Bill's lapses in moral judgement, the Clintons were able to do something I still have not seen President Bush (II) do. When it came to foreign dignitaries, the Clintons were true diplomats -- and did nothing to embarrass themselves.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Clintons' diplomacy, not to mention their experience in the White House would best serve the country on the international stage.

So there you have it. My opinions on the choices for Vice President in this year's election.

Now, I'm off to figure out how Major League Baseball allowed half the league to have Labor Day off. It used to be that everybody played on Labor Day, and ESPN used to show three or four games.

Humbug.

Upon Further Review, We Should All Be Robots

2008-08-31T01:26:00.002-05:00

Really. Have we forgotten that we are all human? Nobody is perfect -- stop expecting everyone to be so.

I have spent several years of my life as an on-field official in a couple of sports. I've been baseball umpire. I've been a soccer linesman. And we all know that I currently exist in a legally-blind capacity as a hockey referee.

Do you want to know where I stand on instant replay?

Really. Ask me. Pretty please... ...with a cherry on top....

Instant replay is for the birds. It is possibly the worst idea in sports since Fox brought us the glowing puck on television. OK, I'll back down a bit. It is not a horrendous idea... but in most cases it is not used appropriately. In short, we need to not rely on it.

In every game, across every sport, there are objective people on the field to arbitrate and render decisions on those close calls. They are, outside of Tim Donaghy and his friends, for the most part impartial. Really, we people need to stop thinking that umpires or referees have it in for teams or players. It's not the case.

They are, however, human. And they are flawed -- everyone is. So how can I defend flawed people? Because the alternatives are no better. They too are flawed... ...because they are created by humans who are flawed.

This week, Major League Baseball (MLB) instituted their version of instant replay for use on what are being referred to as 'boundary calls'. They should really just say home runs, because that's the focus. MLB has installed cameras at all of their stadiums to help the umpires determine whether a batted ball left the field of play, if it was fair or foul, or if a fan interfered with a player making a play on the ball.

Why am I saying home runs? Because those are the only calls that an umpire might admit he needs help with -- if he admits it at all. An interference play on a foul ball, is not likely to go for review, because umpires generally do not have a problem getting into position to make calls on balls that end up closer to the infield. Those fan interference calls on foul balls are usually pop flies, and if an infielder or outfielder can cover the distance to the side boundary (I'm talking stands, not foul lines), so too can an umpire.

Home runs are slightly different, because the outfielders are much closer to the outfield wall than the umpires. This leads me to question why a simpler solution was not tried, first. That solution would be to used six-man crews (like those used in the playoffs) during regular season games.

Yes, I know, there was a six-man crew for the Jeffrey Maier incident. But most of those calls will have an umpire in position to make. You have two umpires down the lines in the outfield to make those calls.

Now, I don't know all the details of how this works -- especially because none of the outfield dimensions at any MLB ballpark consist of a straight wall from foul line to foul line. Which means that you would need multiple cameras for this to work to begin with.

Seriously, the only way for instant replay to work is for a camera to be at the top of each foul pole, shooting straight up -- to determine fair or foul -- and two cameras at every angle of the outfield wall -- one shooting to the right, and one to the left. That could get expensive for the Texas Rangers, in their park. And would have cost the Brooklyn Dodgers a metric ton of money at Ebbets Field, where the right field wall had no less than 289 angles.

Besides, as I mentioned before, the technology is not perfect. What if those cameras at the top of the foul pole twist to change the reference points? And really, what are your reference points when shooting at a clear blue sky? Besides, camera lenses get dirty, or simply don't give you a clear picture of what you're looking at.

I work on the CCTV crew at Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha -- home of the College World Series. I can tell you that often plays are given a second look -- by us and umpires -- after games. The problem is, many times it's still inconclusive. No help there.

All MLB would need to do, is reposition the outfield umpires, to stand on the foul lines, near the wall. On a play towards the gap, they run out to make the call. On a blast down the line -- they hold their position and rule it fair or foul. If they back themselves to the wall, and look straight up -- they have the reference point of the foul pole and can tell you which side of the pole the ball left the park on.

But it does raise one question about a rule. Everybody knows that a ball inside the bases can roll foul or back into fair territory before getting to the bases. A ball that passes the bases on the fly must land between the foul lines to remain fair. But why is a ball which leaves the field of play over the outfield wall allowed to land outside the where the foul lines would be?

For example: You hit a ball that at travels 360 feet down the right field line. The ball never goes higher than 20 feet off the ground (a line drive). At 315 feet from home plate, the ball is inside the foul line. At 325 feet, the ball crosses the line. (This would mean that at 360 feet, the ball is also outside the line -- in simple physics.) At Yankee Stadium, you've just hit a home run. But if you're playing at Safeco Field it's strike one. However, if you're at Camden Yards, you're running as fast as you can because that ball is still in play, and the rightfielder is about to pick it up and throw it back in because it hit the scoreboard/wall.

(FYI: The above rule was changed in 1931. Prior that that, home runs were determined fair/foul at the point of which the umpire lost sight of them.)

But it does make you wonder -- that 360 foot home run... what if you hit it at Wrigley Field, and at 355 feet, the wind blew it back across the line. At 353 feet, the ball left the field of play... but if the wall was 365 feet away, it's in play.

It's a game of inches.

I'm sure someone is thinking that we should put cameras behind home plate, and shoot down the lines. That won't work. My seventh grade science teacher would like to teach you about parallax -- you know, it's how a speedometer reads 55 MPH to the dirver, but only 53 to the passenger. It's the same reason instant replay won't work on close calls at first base. You can't tell when the first baseman catches the ball.

There is a similar problem in football. There is no definite point of reference to determine when someone has possession of the ball. Timing and position do not translate well to video technology.

Now, it does have good uses in football. Like, when a player steps out of bounds. It also has a good use in hockey -- but only ONE. It is that view I like to call rafter cam -- the view straight down on the goal from the ceiling. But that view is often poorly executed. The shot needs to be 90 degrees from the horizontal, on a vertical plane directly above the goal line, at the middle of the goal. Often, that shot is at an angle -- and I can't tell you why, but it takes away any reference to the plane of the goal line, which means the system fails.

But, of the sports that I participate in, that rafter cam view is the only acceptable use of replay I see. Why? Because hockey moves fast, players move fast, referees move fast, and pucks move fast. On occaision, the referee will have a player between him and the puck -- and he simply can not see the puck entering the goal. Other times, the puck might hit a part of the frame in the back of the net. If you blinked, you missed it. That camera can see it, and tell you which part of the frame it hit. But that is it. None of this, was someone interfering? And don't use it to determine if the puck was played into the goal legally. Those are judgement calls, and should not be open for discussion. To one, it may be legal... to another, it's not.

See the play. Assess the play. Make the call.

In summary, cameras are not the answer -- because in the end, it still comes down to the human eye. Nothing takes the fun out of a game more than stopping to take a closer look at something nobody else has a better view of.

Let the officials make the call, move on, and remember... it's just a game.

File This One Under: Career Suicide

2008-08-30T00:29:00.002-05:00

I've never been afraid to speak my mind. Some say I should keep my mouth shut. I disagree -- I can only be myself, and I am outspoken. It's shows strength, it shows resiliency, and it shows that I will not be intimidated by anyone or anything.

The following is my second response to Vent Casey's blog about Jericho Scott. Vent responded on his blog in agreement with my first reply, and then added that ESPN and their coverage of youth events like the Little League World Series are adding to the pressures that adults are putting on the next generation.

While it may cause me to be blackballed by possible employers because of a very anti-media (probably not a wise decision for a broadcaster) tone, I agreed:

You are dead on about ESPN. Heck, they make a big deal over spelling bees, hotdog eating contests, and meaningless card games.

But here is the big one against ESPN. College athletics schedules. College football belongs on Saturdays… and maybe Friday nights. But these mid-week (Tuesday and Thursday) games are ridonkulous. On a Tuesday night, these young adults need to be in their dorms studying. Heck, on Tuesday morning (not to mention Wednesday, and every other weekday) they need to be in the classroom… LEARNING.

And don’t even get me started on college basketball, because that is an exercise in futility on so many levels.

I really question whether scholarship athletes are actually students anymore. It also doesn’t help that we constantly hear of recruiting violations, late-night indiscretions, and other behavior that suggest they think they are above anyone else.

I think they forget on major aspect of the life they live. Yes, God has given them this talent to do something better than anyone else — BUT that talent has opened the door for them to improve themselves, not in athletics, but in intangibles.

Fact is, many of the people we see on the gridiron, or on the hardwood are not typical college material. I gander many of them struggled just to meet academic requirements.

That is not to say that there aren’t some very intelligent athletes in the university system. However, the ones who make the headlines for what they do off the field are making those headlines because they have made a conscious effort to not be getting the education that their talents have earned them. They feel as if it is a privilege to play college sports. That’s only a partial truth. The other have of the equation is that it’s a privilege to have an education all but handed to you because of your talents in other areas.

Now, I will admit that I am a little biased towards college hockey. Part of it is that I love hockey, and the other part is that I was a college hockey player, so I know the system.

To start, you don’t hear much about the indiscretions of college hockey players, because there are fewer college hockey programs in the nation than most other major sports. At the same time, college hockey is not a monopoly, like football and basketball are. College hockey has stiff competition from the major junior ranks, which provide another in-road to a professional sports career. A player with professional aspirations is more likely to go play major junior, than to go to college. College hockey players want to be in school, and want an education.

In all fairness, college baseball would be a similar situation, as players are often drafted out of high school and proceed directly to the professional ranks.

But where college hockey traditionally blows the other sports out of the water in academic friendliness that that college hockey teams generally play Friday-Saturday games every week. In most of the rare occurrences that you do have a mid-week game, it is often a local rivalry that do not require the players to be off campus for more than a couple hours. It is generally not disruptive to the learning environment.

Of course, ESPN shows maybe 5 college hockey games all year. OK, ESPN-U usually has a game a week… but still — you see more high school basketball games on ESPN than you do college (or even professional) hockey. And that is a major issue, very closely related to what started this conversation.

Now, I was a walk-on. Nothing was handed to me, except a seat on the bench. It was very easy for me to talk to my coaches and tell them that academics came first to me. In fact, in my once semester as a D-1 hockey player, I was excused to be late to Tuesday and Thursday practices because I had a class that ran up to the start of ice time. But, I wasn’t the only one.

Myles Brand and the NCAA need to get out of the money-making business. Yes, college sports do bring in financial assistance that normally wouldn’t exist. But, not enough of it is going to the schools. Most of it remains within the athletic programs. If the NCAA is truly interested in the academic side of the athletes, they need to grow a pair.

Instead of wasting time telling schools like Illinois and North Dakota that they need to change their mascots, they need to take on the image crisis they have from crawling into bed with ESPN. For all intents and purposes, Myles Brand is a prostitute — he sold himself, and the NCAA, for money instead of moral decency.

The NCAA needs to put their foot down. Tell ESPN that their broadcast schedule is secondary to the academic schedules of the 300,000 athletes in affiliated instiutions of higher learning. It’s a simple fix. Friday and Saturday nights are college sports night (volleyball, basketball, football, hockey, lacrosse, lawn darts, baseball, softball, kickball, dodgeball, soccer, etc.). Sunday is NFL, Monday Night is Monday Night (yes, I meant to say that)… and the rest of the week there are plenty of PROFESSIONAL sports to air, filling the schedule: NBA, NHL, MLB, MLS, CFL, WNBA, heck — minor league game of the week.

You know, mix it up — when was the last time professional volleyball players (and I’m not talking beach volleyball) were heard of outside of the Olympics? How about putting them in the spotlight more often?

And finally, to bring us back Jericho Scott, and the pressure being forced upon the youths of this nation. I take pride in how I became a college athlete. Some know my story, others don’t. Long and short of it — I played on one select team… my senior year of hockey, the local association put together a house league all-star team. We played a whole nine game schedule. My parents never pushed me to do something I didn’t want to do. I didn’t sacrifice my social life, or my parents finances to further my career, and my parents never had to play the politics that are so often prevalent. And yet, somehow, I can say that I was a Division-1 student-athlete in college.

…and I don’t care that I never played a minute during my D-1 career.

Coming Full Circle (As In Circle-Change)

2008-08-28T02:11:00.002-05:00

For those of you who know the history of this blog, you know that it started because of the responses I was making on other people's blogs. Bloggers were encouraging me to start blogging myself, and I took them up on it. If you have read some of those responses, you'll see that some of them are doozies, and really worthy of blog posts on their own.

It is with that in mind -- with respect also towards time, the relaunch of this blog, and the friendships it has created -- that I will begin to repost my responses to the blogs that I frequent.

I encourage all of you to visit their blogs, read them, and please be respectful of the opinions posted there (theirs, mine, and anyone elses).

I am not going back in time to dig up these responses. They will be posted shortly after they are made public on the blogs of origin. And of course, this does not mean that I will no longer be original and come up with content of my own... just that I have found that often blog-worthy content doesn't end up on my own blog. Now, it's here.

The original blog post was made by Vent Casey, on his blog, here.

This who situation just exemplifies what is wrong with America, what is wrong with this generation of adults, and what is soon to be wrong with the next generation.

I almost don't know where to start -- and you have done a wonderful job of pointing out all that is wrong, and you have much more detail than I would have. But let's just start at the very beginning...

IT'S JUST A GAME.

I'm not sure where it started, and I'm not about to point fingers, but it is a multi-generational problem. We are taking game -- specifically youth games -- way too seriously. Somewhere we got it in our minds that we have to have a winner every time out, and that losing is bad.

For shame. (And for this one I will point to professional sports with the blame.) For some mind-blowing reason, the professional ranks are trying to do away with ties. OK, baseball has never had ties. Football (at least the NFL) still does have ties, but you get one maybe once every five years -- yet, college football has done away with ties. Basketball, as far as I can remember has never had ties... but they are the biggest source of the problem -- high-scoring games with no ties... of course, high-scoring makes it easy to break ties, so there really isn't a need for ties in basketball. Soccer, low scoring... but still has ties... and the only gripe is that there is no scoring in soccer.

Oh well, deal with it.

Hockey, for some reason (and I point to former NBA #2 and all-around idiot Gary Bettman as the villain) has decided that they want the NBA mentality, not what soccer has. Bettman wants more scoring (and I'll agree, scoring is down in hockey) and no ties. They've adopted shootouts. It's crap. Bettman has taken the most exciting play in hockey, and bastardized it for the sake of determining a winner (he's also mandated for penalty shots during games, in an absent-minded attempt to create more scoring).

FACT: Some days nobody deserves to lose. Some days nobody deserves to win. Some days the teams are just evenly matched.

The adults need to realize this, and the kids need to know it. No shame in a tie. No shame in losing, either. What's important in youth sports? Development. Losing seems to get the message across that there is room for improvement. Winning does not have the same effect... but... really, despite winning, there is always room for improvement.

Some of us had fathers who pushed us to do better, despite winning: "Congrats on throwing a shutout... but next time go for a no-hitter." Read between the lines on that one. Dad's not saying you suck. Dad is trying to keep things in perspective. He's saying there is always room for improvement. It's not being cut-throat. It's simply stating fact.

FACT: You can throw a no-hitter, and still lose. You can also shutout your opponent, and still not win.

Which brings me to point number two. I completely agree that this child should not be pushed ahead. This is a good time to teach your kids patience.

First, let's not stunt Jericho's growth (mentally or physically). Keep him with kid's his age. And don't let his talent give him a benefit that will go straight to his head. Athletes do not deserve special benefits (and, yes, I am a former athlete). Further, moving him up would also force him to to try harder to keep up, or possibly put him back in his place, and maybe discourage him. It could go either way.

Which brings me to secondly... let's allow Jericho's talent to help those around him. To start, don't give up because of a challenge in front of you. So Jericho strikes out your kid. OK, your kid needs to come back and try again.

Let my put it this way. I have a brother who is four years older than me. He used to kick my butt every day in baseball, or football, or soccer. Naturally, he was bigger and better than I was. But I kept at it. I didn't quit. Personally, I think I got better because of the competition I faced. It's small fish, big pond / big fish, small pond.

These kids who face Jericho now are eventually going to get better because of him -- making adjustments, or just catching up with him physically. By letting them play together, New Haven could be looking at a state championship baseball team, who not only outscored everyone by five or six runs per game, but were led by an outstanding pitcher.

Eventually, he will get pushed to a new level. When he gets to high school, he could inevitably skip freshman ball, and go straight to JV or even varsity. That would be an appropriate time to push his talents.

Finally, stop playing politics. Who cares who wins? It's just a game. There is no money at stake. Let the kids be kids, let them have fun, and stop putting pressure on them. This is just another example of adults taking the fun away from the kids.

Sure, there is a sense of pride for Carlito's Barber Shop. But it is misplaced pride. The pride should not be in sponsoring championship teams. The pride should be in providing an opportunity for these children to play baseball, to have fun, and to grow. Again, no money at stake -- you're not going to win a huge payday because you sponsor a great team. (Of course, I wouldn't put it past these people to be betting on youth baseball.) Really, it's local baseball, and your market is anyone at the ballpark. Nobody is going to say: "well, I was going to go get my haircut at Carlito's, but his baseball team played poorly, so I'm going to Great Clips."

What you want is: "I need a haircut. You know what, Carlito's sponsors a team in the youth league. They're not very good, but at least his money goes to a great cause... I think I'll patronize him, and maybe the money from my haircut will help the next Bob Gibson chase his dream."

Does It Really Take A Government Conspiracy To Draw Me Out?

2008-08-23T00:39:00.003-05:00

It's been a while. I'm sure anyone with enough time on their hands to care that I shut the heck up, are now saying, "oh, bloody hell, he's back.... [We] thought we won."

You can never silence me. Only I can silence myself, and I just don't have that kind of self-control.

Yeah, I know -- shock, horror.

In all honesty, sometimes there is just not enough time in the day to enjoy ranting and raving. Besides, most of it I can do in person, and that can be rewarding when you see the eyes rolling in the room.

But with the Olympics half a world away, my sleep schedule is a mess... OK, it was a mess before that, but at least I have an excuse now. So while I have some sleepless hours, why not just burst back onto the scene with the internet equivalent of blowing a load.

Wait scratch that reference, I'm not a pedophile or someone releasing sexual frustration by way of the internet... that's just wrong.

Let's just say, I haven't forgotten about all of you -- over the last seven months. I'm still here, still as opinionated as ever, and ready to fire.

Olympic Gymnasts: With that in mind, let's just roll with that last reference -- the Olympics, not the issue of sexual entertainment (though, maybe I'll talk about Gary Glitter, later).

The big story, aside from swim-freak Michael Phelps, coming out of the Beijing Olympics seems to surround the Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team, and just how old they really are. China claims they are all 16 years old-- the minimum age for eligibility. The media, including Chinese media, are report that some of them may not be.

Who are you going to believe? Maybe I'm just being an American... but I sure as hell don't believe China. It's not secret that the Gymnastics program in China is government-run, much to the same effect as the Central Red Army in the Soviet Union (and their allegedly amateur athletes).

Sure, they've provided documents to verify the alleged ages. But it's not hard for the government to doctor these documents, they are state-issued after all. Seriously, the U.S. Government could issue me a passport saying that I am Shawn Johnson of West Des Moines, Iowa. (Though, I doubt it would say I'm 16.)

What will be key, are the web documents (which have joined the ranks of the signed confessions of the 1919 Chicago White Sox) found by the Associated Press. More important will be secondary documents -- something like official rosters (or programs) from previous competitions. Just think, all of these gymnasts have probably competed in World Championships, or World Junior Championships before. This won't be rocket science -- find the official rosters from those competitions going back several years and look at the birth dates provided on those rosters. Any discrepancy, and the secret is out.

It's not far-fetched. A member of China's 2000 Olympic team admitted to be only 14 years old during the Sydney Games. The International Federation of Gymnastics banned North Korea in the 1990s when it was discovered that a gymnast was listed as 15 years old for three consecutive years. I've heard of women not wanting to turn 30... but that's just wrong.

Somewhere someone is saying, "who gives a crap, so we got beat by a bunch of 12 year olds... that's even more embarrassing."

No, it's not. The rules are rules, and they are the rules because they are in the best interest of everyone involved. The demands on the human body in gymnastics are extreme. Think of it this way -- would you teach an 8 year old baseball player to throw a curveball? No, because the body is not ready for that strain at that age.

This is the simplest argument for the age restriction, though there are others -- including mental health.

But, before I leave you for the evening, I want to leave you with a little bit of humor. In the AP story reprinted on both ESPN.com and TSN.ca -- the final line was a quote attributed to the Chinese coach: "It's not just me. The parents of our athletes are all very indignant," Lu said. "They have faced groundless suspicion. Why aren't they believed? Why are their children suspected? Their parents are very angry."

There are two ways to call bully on that quote. I'll let you choose.

1. B.S. -- The gymnasts are taken from their families at young ages to be entered into this government program (much like the Romanians used to). They are, for all intents and purposes, orphans. (Or upset about losing their children eight years ago.)

Or 2. B.S. -- The parents are upset, but only because their status and higher-class lifestyles are now in jeopardy if their children are running the risk of not being a part of the national team.

I really hope this one gets settled soon. Let's not drag this out like Floyd Landis' Tour de France victory disqualification... or even the results of the 2000 Sydney Games, where some results are still pending. Get the answers, render the verdict, and move on.

Stars and Stripes Forever: A Revist

2008-01-21T16:07:00.000-06:00

Where are all the (faux-)Patriots? Are they all racists?

OK, maybe it's not as bad as I thought. Or maybe it's worse.

Does anyone know what day it is, today? It is Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday (observed). Is it not a national holiday? Are the government offices not closed today? I know I'm not getting mail today.

It is with that in mind that I ask the same question I asked two and a half years ago -- shortly after I started this blog -- Where Have All The Flags Gone?

Now, a few years later (with the colorful language behind me), as I look out my window, I can count the number of flags flying in front of houses (excluding my own) on one finger.

It seems to me as if this nation is showing one finger to history... to a race... to a great man... to what this nation is really all about.

Perhaps I shouldn't be upset with my neighbors. As I read about displaying the American Flag, today is not listed among the days for which to display the flag. But don't we all think it should be?

The days for displaying the American Flag are as follows: New Years Day, Inauguration Day (January 20, every four years), Lincoln's Birthday, Washington's Birthday (ok, I'm Old School: it's President's Day), Armed Forces Day (third Saturday in May), Memorial Day, Flag Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Constitution Day (September 17), Columbus Day, Navy Day (October 27), Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving Day. There are also five days during which the flag is to be displayed at half staff: Peace Officers Memorial Day (May 15), Memorial Day (before noon), Korean War Veterans Day (July 27), Patriot Day (September 11), and Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (December 7).

So, fine, there are a few days that are missing. The reality is, we should not have to be instructed to fly the flag on these days. It is something we should do as Americans. Something we should be willing to take five minutes to do on these days out of respect.

Why am I upset? (And take note, I am a Caucasian male.) I'm upset because with the exception of Christmas Day (which is a religious holiday), Dr. King's birthday is the ONLY Federal Holiday for which there is no provision for displaying the flag. In fact, if you go back and read through the list, we fly for non-holidays -- and yet we skip a Federal Holiday celebrating a Civil Rights Leader, a true American Patriot.

It really looks like a blatant case of institutional racism. The American Government is showing the back of their hand to over half of the nation. The lack of respect, by definition, is disrespectful. It is more disrespectful, and more absent-minded than President Bush (the second) forgetting that Patriots' Day is the third Monday in April and confusing us with (Faux-)Patriot Day in September. One day celebrates the beginning of the American Revolution, the other remembers the last time this nation was attacked directly. Only one of those days really involved patriots.

Perhaps we should ask the Presidential Candidates what their thoughts are on this. I'm sure at least one has a very emotional response. In the mean time, I ask you, the American people, to do the right thing. Display your flags for Dr. King. Show him the respect he was never alive to see from this great nation.

God Bless Dr. King.
God Bless America.

How About a Comeback?

2007-12-20T17:14:00.000-06:00

Well, I finally have a full day off work... and I finished up my holiday shopping -- without setting foot in a mall (not that I'm afraid to, in fact I was in a mall in Kearney two days after the shootings in Omaha -- looking for a sports store for skate laces... no luck there).

But instead of writing my (semi-)annual Christmas letter, I'm blogging. I mean, it's four days from Christmas, no chance cards will get there in time. And what am I going to tell people? I graduated from college... still looking for work... still looking for 'the one'. I think that about covers it.

Instead, I am here, talking about something that has me feeling like a kid again. After a 20-month layoff, I have started the ball rolling on a hockey comeback.

Never fear, Maverick fans -- we haven't found a way for me to get another year of college eligibility. I'm just strapping the pads on for the hell of it.

For those of you who don't know, in May 2006 (Mother's Day... a week before my brother's wedding) I suffered a knee injury while playing soccer. A partial tear of the meniscus in my right knee. I actually gutted it out for the rest of the game, but was in visible pain.

Not to strut around, but gutting it out should be no surprise to those of you whole know me well. The fact that I missed any time, let alone allow it to keep me out for 20-months is more of a shock than anything else. Looking back at my 20-plus years of hockey and soccer, and my 10 years in baseball I think the number of games I missed due to injury is in single digits.

I suffered a concussion during a soccer game in 7th grade, only to return to the game in OT, and then face a PK shootout (which we lost in 12 rounds). Broke my nose the next year, and came back for the second half... once the bleeding stopped. I even broke my finger at a hockey practice my junior year of high school, then played the next night. Of course those are minor injuries. Well, a concussion isn't -- we know that now -- but not something that keeps you from functioning.

I even broke my foot in eighth grade and played soccer through it. Maybe I'm just too dumb to stop... but then again, for most of those my coaches were my parents -- my mother a school nurse -- and if they thought I was going to hurt myself more, they wouldn't have let me play.

So, I'm thinking back trying to think how many games I've missed due to injury. And I honestly can't remember missing one game, until I left the world of competitive sports. I missed one game after injuring my knee 20 months ago (though, I was helped out by a bye week and a holiday weekend where there were no games)... and I actually played the Tuesday after at indoor (the injury occurred playing outdoor) before missing time.

There were a couple other games that I was injured and didn't play, but I was available when needed -- one my freshman year at Iowa State where I was held out for precautionary reasons after suffering two concussions in a week (one in my second career game at South Dakota State -- a game I don't remember all the details of, but apparently got a shutout... and the next week when I got kicked in the head against Drake), and Games 2 and 3 of the playoffs my first year of juniors in Landmark (concussion and groin). However, I was dressed for all three of those games, and ready to play if called upon.

I'm sure somewhere, someone is going -- what about the story from your first year of juniors in Winnipeg (prior to being loaned to Landmark) where they had the line brawl, you were out with a pinched nerve, and Andrew got jumped.

I don't count that as a game missed due to injury, because we knew ahead of time that it was my turn to sit for that game. I would have been a healthy scratch, anyway. Besides, we all know that it didn't prevent me from participating in the evening's festivities. :)

Back to the story, it was about three weeks after the injury that was the last time I strapped on the pads -- as a counselor at a week-long goalie camp. Three weeks wasn't enough, as I was in incredible pain working with goalies on lateral movement. The pain got to me enough to know that I had to take time off. You can't play not knowing if your knee will be there when you need it.

Under the advice and direction of a physical therapist, I was back to playing soccer with a knee brace right away. Soccer became my major rehab activity, where the movements are a bit more controlled. So, technically, I was out for three weeks, but missed just one game.

The other game I missed was last week, when I sat out Thursday after getting kicked in the eye on Tuesday.

But now, the time has come for me to return to the ice. My knee is pain free, and my friend has ice time, where I won't have to extend myself -- a nice, controlled environment where everyone will know I'm rebounding from an injury and the extended layoff.

So that's what's new in my world.

Happy Holidays.

A Whirlwind Of Emotion

2007-12-06T02:32:00.000-06:00

Really, I just need somewhere to speak my mind, talk about this, and maybe get the comfort of some friends.

Yes. It is old news by now. I know it made CNN, so I'm fairly sure it made national headlines. If you can't tell already, it has me pretty shaken up. Today's shooting at Westroads Mall in Omaha hits pretty close to home in both the literal and physical sense. So I promise you this is going to be a very emotional blog.

This is how my day went.

I spend my Wednesdays as the Floor Director (Stage Manager) for 'The Omaha News' a weekly news broadcast from the University of Nebraska at Omaha. That is where I was when the first reports of two dead at Westroads came in.

Then it hit me. I drive past the mall almost every day -- obviously I've shopped there. I have several friends who work in the mall. I am happy to report that all of them are fine... except one. The problem is, I can't remember which of my friends it is... and she works (or at one time worked) at Von Maur, where this all went down.

Yeah, I'm panicking. I spent about an hour calling pretty much everyone in my cell phone -- some I hadn't called in a couple of years. I'm sure I scared one or two of them. In fact, I know I did... cuz after no answer, I got a quick call back from her mother -- and after I explained what I was going through, all was good on that front.

I still don't know which friend it is, but the list is shrinking. I am just praying that I don't recognize any names in the newspaper. That sounds shallow, because I understand that many people are deal with losses right now.

Realizing that we did have breaking news, I did volunteer to go to the scene to report for the newscast. Fortunately, Eric Iverson was able to go -- and there is a lighter side of the story in that.

But the effects were setting in all around. Several coworkers were shaken, including one who used to work at Von Maur -- and was unable to contact a friend who still works there. I could tell she was a mess. So every time I walked by her, I gave her a hug. It was the least I could do for a friend.

We went on with the broadcast -- five confirmed dead at this point -- and as you can imagine it was total chaos. People in the control room calling to get information. Employees flipping out phones during commercial breaks to call family and friends. And, oh yeah, trying to script the next segment of a newscast.

At one point my boss' wife called. She happens to work at Creighton Medical Center, which happened to be the Trauma Center du joir in Omaha. The report from her was nine dead at this point. Hoping we could actually scoop the local affiliates. What a coupe that would have been.

The problem is, you get insider information, unconfirmed. Do you go with it? If you're wrong there will be ramifications. But I felt we could have been safe saying: "[We] have an unconfirmed report from Creighton Medical Center stating that at this time nine people are dead from the Westroads shooting." You take the risk, but you use 'unconfirmed report' as a safety net. I was overruled -- and probably rightly so.

If only we had known that was accurate. Here's the kicker: at 10:00, I watched one of the local affiliates. They had been talking to the University of Nebraska Medical Center (who Creighton began diverting victims to). The question I have is: If Creighton was the Trauma Center for the day, why weren't the local affiliates going there for information first? We could have broken the story wide open. We were in the right place, and we had accurate information.

Elation at the thought of being able to scoop the 'pros', upset that we didn't go with it, disappointment to find out the report was accurate, and then back to reality: people dead and a newscast to finish out.

Then comes the aftermath. I find out that I know more people that work at the mall. Others who were shopping there, and it sets in... I could have been there (and not as a reporter... I mean Christmas Shopping).

So as the Omaha News crew assembled at a local eatery, we sat down to watch the continuing live coverage on TV. When the report of the suicide note, and the statement 'going out in style' was read three words crossed my mind: suicide by cop.

Now I'm pissed off. First of all, my brother is a cop. My sister-in-law was in the academy, and dropped out when she came to realize that given the opportunity in a life-or-death situation, she could not pull the trigger. Using the police to kill yourself is wrong. Hell, taking out eight other people is wrong.

It may sound bad, but if you want to kill yourself... fine. But don't go messing with other people. You are already going to mess up your friends and family, there is no need -- zero -- for you to make other innocent people suffer because you can't take the reality of life anymore. That upsets me more than anything else. Right now eight families have been shredded, and for no reason whatsoever. Some jackball loses his job, loses his mind, and takes it out on people he doesn't even know. And lets not forget the hundreds or thousands of other people who you terrified, who were scared.

So where do we go from here. We must move on. Like 9/11, like a school shooting, like a plane crash, like anything else we must learn from it, but not let it derail us from our daily lives. We can not be afraid to go into malls.

We must pray for the victims. We must pray for their families. We must pray for their friends. We must pray for each other. And we must pray that events like these can be prevented, and be prevented without a major inconvenience to the daily routines of the average American.

Please keep them all in your prayers. God bless. And please remember: 'tis the season.

Since Someone Asked

2007-11-13T01:02:00.001-06:00

My apologies, to those who have noticed, for the absence of this blog.

To answer the questions of the person who so kindly asked in the comments: I am still alive, but still seeking employment. I still work those numerous part time jobs-- including one where I'm approach 40 hours a week with regularity.

Apparently they want me to work full time, but not offer me benefits. Believe me, if I had another job offer, I'd quit. But they keep me too busy to actually find that lucrative full-time job.

Lucrative... who am I kidding? I'd work for the peanuts they pay me if they'd offer me a benefits package. But they act like that would break the bank.

In the meantime, I have since worked 43 straight days without a day off. I take that back, I called in sick one day... but even on that day I ended up at work. Those 43 consecutive days are not all at one job, as I still have to find a way to pay the bills. And for some reason, according to my parents, that's not an excuse to not have a 'real job'.

So I guess my options are: find a job, or die.

But if you think I was slacking here, you should note that the other blog I contribute to hadn't had a post since July... this is, until I made a post there earlier today.

To sum it up... I've just been that busy. But I'm still here, and I'm hoping to be a bit more active for all of you to enjoy.

Who wants to know what? Apparently, I'm taking requests.

Sex and Candy

2007-09-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

Happy day after Labor Day, America.

Like many of you, I've been on the road recently-- just getting back from Chicago, myself. I apologize for the month and a half-long absence, I've been on the road a bit.

And it is from the road that I have a question for everyone...

How dumb are we?

OK, loaded question. That, and I should probably narrow it down a bit more.

My preferred method of travel is by automobile-- I'm not much of a flier, and you can't get a train to go most places you want to anymore (thank you very much, Congress). Traveling by car you have the necessary stops for fueling and emptying (if you know what I mean).

It is during these stops that I've come to notice the idiocy of the world. If you travel off the beaten path enough, you'll come across some really interesting places. Some of the gas stations in these towns offer a little something extra for your traveling pleasure-- you know, condom dispensers.

Now, I get the point of the existence of these wonders of rusted aluminum. Some people are just too embarrassed to buy condoms in person. I tend to agree. It is nobody's business if I'm sexually active. So, privacy is the way to go. Better to have them available, then not.

But what I question is the variety of these instruments of preventative measures-- specifically color and flavor.

Really? Is that quite necessary?

What is the point?

Let's start with color. One machine I saw this weekend pitched its product by 'increasing the visual aspect' or something like that....

WHAT VISUAL? Do you honsetly think anyone is going to be looking to see what color of condom you're wearing? Unless there is one powerful light on it, nobody is going to see it. I doubt it will light up the inside of your partner. Come to think of it, the only person who will be able to see it, is probably you-- and shouldn't you be focused on your partner?

Some of you prefer the dark-- unless is glows in the dark, you can't see it. So tell me, what is the point?

Then there is the flavored variety. Again, what is the point?

To start, why would anyone put a condom in their mouth? Do you really believe what they teach in catholic high schools: that you can get pregnant from oral sex? Hate to break it to you, but those are different systems of the body. ...Unless of course, your drinking something you shouldn't be....

But beyond that, condoms break. And when they do, don't they become a choking or suffocation hazard? You shouldn't go sucking on plastic bags, or balloons, or latex gloves-- nor should you put any of them over your head... the one on your shoulders, you sicko.

So why a condom?

Either someone has the intellect of America pegged perfectly, or someone is just a moron.

As always, I want to hear what you think, America. Does anyone else see anything wrong, here? Or is this just a laugh?

I Just Don't Get It: A Social Conscience Editorial

2007-07-26T17:19:00.000-05:00

...The boat must have left me behind.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick pleaded 'not guilty' today to federal charges involving dogfighting.

Shock-horror. Who didn't see that coming?

I'm not going to go into detail about the case. I'm not going to talk about how athletes seem to think laws don't apply to them, or that they can buy their way out of trouble.

What I want to ask is-- what is the point? What possible reason could there be for watching dogs fight? It's cruel, barbarric, and inhumane. So, why?

It is in excusable for anyone to turn anyone or anything else into a killing machine. Violence is a problem in this world, and it's not just human-on-human.

So, I want to know-- and I need your help-- what possible reason there could be for any of the following topics.

World, help me out.

====================

What gives men any reason to abuse their lovers? Stop beating the tar out of each other!

Why would anyone want to videotape their intimate moments? Those a personal moments, so what purpose does it serve to set up a camera for it?

While we're on the subject: what is the point of pornography?

What is the point of a tattoo? It is just ink, defacing your body. Big deal.

Abortion: If you're going to do the deed, why should you get a mulligan. If you can't keep your pants on, there is a risk you run-- and that risk is parenthood. That is a two way street-- both of you (and it takes two to 'tango'), if you're going to have sex, then you both need to take responsibility for the result of that action.

Irreconsilable Differences: People don't change that much after you get married, had you dated, you would know that person a lot better, understand them, tolerate the differences, and you'd be happy. Irreconsiblable differences means you're a quitter.

Why is poker so popular? Why is it on ESPN more often than actual sports?

Gambling and Betting: If you want to be rich, work! Quit looking for an easy way out-- the odds are against you.

Why do people see Barack Obama's lack of political experience seen as a negative for the presidency? Have you looked at the robots roaming around Washington, D.C. lately? Lack of political experience-- or more accurately, the lack of brainwashing by a political party-- is a very good thing for the presidency. The President needs to be open-minded, knowledgable, and most of all a diplomat.

Do people ever read before signing on the dotted line? Why do we feel we've been duped, when the details are all right there in front of you?

What is up with instant results? Instant coffee, instant replay, instant messaging, instant rice... why is the world in such a hurry? Instant messaging is possbily the only instance (pun intended) when we NEED that instant gratification.

====================

I leave you on that note... giving you a few days to get back to me, as I seem to have covered most of the topics that might come up in the next year. Get back to me when you can.

...and I'll give you a hint on the above interrogatives: gratification is not an acceptable answer-- look for an honset answer.

Fighting Irrationality with Irrationality

2007-07-21T13:42:00.000-05:00

OK, so I'm a self-described master of irrationality-- but rarely do I take it too far... at least, I like to think I don't...

OK, let's put it this way, if you do something so irrational that I take offence-- you've done quite well for yourself-- relatively speaking of course. I mean, there are some thoughts and actions so irrational that the only way for me to combat them is to leave behind my irrational, radical ways and come back to common sense.

Take the public smoking ban of Omaha. This week the ban saw it's first challenge in court-- Cougar Lanes, just about 5 miles from where I am, has been ruled to be in compliance with the smoking ban.

At issue is a lounge within the bowling alley. Cougar Lanes maintains that the lounge (I believe 'the Sahara Lounge') is it's own separate facility, a 'stand-alone' bar, and thus open to public smoking. Anti-smokers claim that because the lounge and bowling alley operate under one liquor licence and under one roof, that smoking should be banned. The non-compliance claim also cites an opening between the alley and the lounge does not completely serarate the two facilities.

Now, I know I've touched on this issue once before (28 September 2006 -- Once Again, From the State of Confusion), but I need to renew my objection.

Nowhere does anyone have the right to thrust their ideals unto another person. The smoking ban is definately not on the same level as racial segregation, but you're meddling very close to that line. Now, someone is flipping out right now-- 'How can you compare racism to smoking?'.

I'm not. I said it's getting close.

The difference is that smoking is a choice. It is free will to light up a cigarette, cigar, or pipe. However, to exclude someone because of the choice they made would be like a Christian telling a Hebrew, a Muslim, a Mormon, a Buddhist, or an Aethiest they can not participate in something because of their faith. That, too, is based on a choice-- something that can be helped.

This is not the Crusades. This is a case of someone thinking they are better than someone else. This is another case of NIMBY, no different than dictating where a sex-offender can live (24 October 2005 -- If Not In Your Backyard, Then Where?).

I scoff at the fact that people are are so over-the-top about this that they actually call the police about the smoking ban-- not just calling the police... USING 911! I would love to be the dispatcher who gets a phone call from someone complaining about another person smoking in publice. I would laugh that person off the phone so hard, I'd be fired before I hung up. It is a non-emergency, like a cat up a tree, or loud music next door.

(OK, so much for being rational.)

The reality of the situation is that I compare the people who complain about public smokers to the arrogant bastard at the airport who harasses an airline attendant about catching an earlier flight or moving from a center seat to an aisle seat. You bought your ticket, live with it.

Perhaps a little tolerance is in order. You have to understand that just about everyone is going to do something you don't agree with. But the honus is not on you to change them. The honus is for you to protect yourself.

I suggest non-violent protest. If you are upset that a can of tuna comes from a company that does not have dolphin-safe practices-- buy another brand of tuna. If you're displeased that a bowling alley is attached to a bar where people smoke-- go to one of the other 742 bowling alleys in the city. It's not that difficult.

As a non-smoker, I'm not bothered when others smoke around me. Unless they blow smoke in my face. In all honesty, I see second-hand drinking as a more imminent danger to my health than second-hand smoke... and by second-hand drinking, I mean drunk driving.

Really, if you inhale some second-hand smoke, go home and eat an extra head of broccoli. Besides, how did you ever surive the 60s and 70s when just about everyone smoked?

Or perhaps you should also realize that you are at risk of cancer by simply setting foot outside your door. That's right, the sun causes cancer, too. Maybe you should boycott going outside-- or take it another step further: boycott God-- he created the sun.

(Oh come on, now-- you can't expect me to be rational for an entire blog entry, can you?)

The Sounds of the Game

2007-07-15T22:21:00.000-05:00

It is no secret that I enjoy sports. In my twenty-six years on this planet, I have been blessed with the ability to play hockey, soccer, and baseball at various levels. I take a great interest in those sports, and a few others to lesser degrees. With that interest comes being a fan-- and with that the viewing and listening to of games.

I grew up listening to Chicago Blackhawks hockey games-- road games on TV, home games on the radio (thank you very much, Bill Wirtz-- you cheap bastard). Until this past season the Blackhawks had a very unique broadcasting situation for the modern day. For their road games, the Blackhawks used to simulcast. This meant that you could heard Pat Foley call the games on both TV and radio. Being a radio broadcaster, Foley still had to be descriptive with his words, for those of us who couldn't see the game. There was no meaningless banter, just the game and information.

Broadcasts have gone to crap through ESPN and FOX. Nobody wants to listen to Tim McCarver and Joe Morgan relive their playing days... I take that back, Cincinnati Reds fans want to listen to Morgan (because well, all they have is their past), but still NOBODY wants to listen to McCarver.

Beyond that-- who the hell are Ken Rosenthal and Peter Gammons? Why do we care about money and personal issues with the players? These two guys are responsible for more rumours thatn anyone else, and it has created a monster within the game. The game is no longer about what is going on on the field to them.

It's almost as bad as when I had to listen to Harry Caray call Cubs games when I was little. Had it not been for the pictures, you wouldn't have a clue what is going on with the game, or that there was even a game being played.

So, let's return to when it was a game-- the way it is supposed to be, the game between the lines.

Twice this season I have had the experience of listening to a couple of the greats. Two guys, who home fans get to listen to everyday-- but being in Omaha, I miss out on. Vin Scully and Harry Kalas.

Thanks to Cox Communications free preview of MLB Extra Innings, I was able to listen to Vin Scully... though it happened purely by accident. I was tuning in to watch the Rockies (my second favourite NL team, for those of you who are about to say 'I thought you were a Cardinals fan'). They just happened to be in Los Angeles, where Vin Scully has been since 1958 (Scully actully began with the Dodgers in 1950, in Brooklyn-- meaning he's been with them since before my parents were born).

To my amazement, Scully was calling the game solo-- and he never ran out of things to say. OK, Joe Morgan never runs out of things to say... but you wish he would. Better yet about Scully, none of it was about trade rumours or contracts-- it was informational, historical. It was at that point that I realized that I had been missing out on something special.

Then tonight, ESPN was in Philadelphia, where Jon Miller (who I'd have more respect for if he wasn't teamed with Morgan for ESPN) had Kalas as a guest. Kalas has been with the Phillies since 1971 and broadcasting MLB since 1965. Kalas, like Scully, has a great voice-- never too excited, a sound for the ages.

What the world is missing out on, is the great voices of sports... the sounds of the game. I openly list my influences in broadcasting as Foley, Bob Uecker, and Jack Buck. I have since added Scully and Kalas to the list. Even more ironic, is that my dad says I'm missing out on the man Foley cites as his biggest influence-- Lloyd Pettit-- Dan Kelly and Foster Hewitt.

So as I venture into the real world, I can only hope that someday I will be as recognized as Scully, Kalas, Buck, Pettit, Hewitt, and Mike Emerick-- not Gary Thorne, Chris Berman, John Madden, or John Sterling.

Blowing Up So You Don't Have To

2007-07-04T23:56:00.000-05:00

I suppose I'm due for my annual patriotic rant... but I think I'll break just a little with the tradition.

OK, I'll get nostolgic with you for a moment-- as I think back to my days as a wee lad in suburban Chicago. Independence Day used to be a lot of fun for me. It used to start with the village parade-- which I was usually in, either as an athlete (soccer or baseball) representing the town, or as a member of the middle school band. If I was in the parade as an athlete, as was the norm, we usually had the choice of riding in the back of a pickup truck or walking the route from the police station to the golf course.

My decision was usually hinging on how far back in the parade we were-- if there were a lot of horses ahead of us in the parade, I was in the truck. If we were early in the parade, I'd walk it... we were athletes for crying out loud-- why not?

At the end of the parade we'd usually end up at the 'Taste of Bensenville' festival on the golf course-- where the parade ended. It was a think slice of small town Americana in the suburbs. You know, crafts, food, contests... fun stuff.

We'd usually go home to find most of our friends at our house-- the parents would hang out in the back yard-- drinking-- while the kids were usually in the front yard beating the crap out of each other... I mean, playing baseball or football or full contact volleyball or something... we were athletes for crying out loud-- why not?

At night, whoever was left would usually find their way into the living room and watch the Boston Pops concert until the village fireworks show. We'd run down to the ball fields, about a mile from the golf course where the show was, and watch.

That was the typical Fourth of July for me. I don't think things have changed much in Bensenville-- though only one or two of the families who used to hang together are still there. For me, a move to Omaha changed the Fourth of July.

To start, there is no parade in Omaha. Ralston has a parade, but the City of Omaha doesn't. The city, itself, barely does fireworks. The city show is uaully associated with the baseball game-- so it could be on the 3rd. Beyond that, all there is, is a loosely-enforced 'no fireworks' policy within city limits.

It's a crock.

It's not a crock that the city has a law against fireworks in public hands within city limits-- I think that's great... it's a safety thing. Like clockwork, two events happen in Omaha every Fourth of July: 1. a kid goes to the hospital after being struck by a firework, and 2. someone burns their own house down. Good times.

Seriously, when I was growing up the only people with firecrackers and such in the neighbourhood were the delinquents and malcontents-- you know, the people whose mental capacity ended at: wow... bright light, big boom.

I honeslty don't get the attraction of blowing up part of this great country, and possibly part of your hand. It is a meaningless thing-- it makes you no more of an American, no more patriotic than me, and is a waste of money. (Though I will say that it is very interesting to see a panaramic view of everyone else's fireworks displays-- we get a great view on top of the hill.)

So for a couple years we still had the Boston Pops to look forward to. But CBS has screwed that up for everyone, too. For some reason, they don't think people want to listen to the Pops. (Matty, can I get a 'Why do you hate America?') It's been bastardized. The Pops on CBS is now a one-hour show, with the back half hour of it being the fireworks.

Forget that. I wanna hear the Pops play some patriotic music. OK, it was great to see John Mellencamp in front of the Pops-- but you only showed two songs from him, and two other songs from the Pops. How about showing the whole concert? All three hours of it! If I want to see pop stars, I'll flip over to PBS and 'A Capital Fourth'-- which hasn't been the same since Barry Bostwick stopped hosting.

So there it is, a typical Fourth for me in Omaha-- a half hour of the Pops, then out to the back porch (garden hose in hand to keep the neighbours from lighting the house on fire) and literally watch my neighbours money go up in smoke, laughing at the enforcement-- or lack there of-- of the laws of Omaha City.

God Bless America.

Lack of Luxury?

2007-06-13T11:06:00.000-05:00

Did you know that I am a minority?

This has nothing to do with race-- though I can honestly say that growing up in suburban Chicago caucasians were not the majority... Hispanics and Western Asians had that covered. That said, for all I know-- I could be black enough to have been a slave.

But I am actually talking about being a recent college graduate-- one who has graduated debt-free.

I'm sure it is just a coincidence of factors-- but I think I've figured out how I did it. I can definately say that had I attended all four years (loose interpretation) at Iowa State, I'd be sitting here trying to figure out how I was going to pay off my student loans. As it is, I transferred from Iowa State ($17,000 per semester-- when I was there) to Nebraska-Omaha ($3,500 per semester). Simple math, the in-state tuition at UNO would have allowed me to attend 5 years for the price of one at ISU.

Now, credit needs to be given where credit is due-- my parents had put together a nice little college fund for me with the the help of my grandparents and stocks. But like I said, had I stayed at Iowa State I would have easily burned through that and then some. As it is, I've graduated-- debt-free... and I've also dipped into my college fund (post ISU) to chase a hockey career-- with all the expenses-- and for a new (used) car.

I definately don't come from the richest family in the world-- in fact, I know my parents struggle to make ends meet from time to time... but we managed 4 years of my brother in a catholic high school, 4 years of me in a catholic high school, and 4 years of my brother at a Jesuit university. My brother, I believe, just recently finished paying off his debts.

But here is what I don't get. Pretty much everyone I went to school with complains about the rigors of having to work a full time job, sometimes two-- and that they still don't have enough money.

I call bully. Here's why. Look at all the luxuries these people enjoy. There is absolutely no reason that these students, working full time (or even part time jobs) can't come up with $7,000 a year to pay for college. They live in excess-- with soud systems for their cars-- posh cars-- they watch flat screen LCD televisions-- in posh living conditions-- they take notes on lap top computers, hooked into their iPods, which they take home and download into even nicer desktops (where many of them waste time playing World of Warcraft) with their high-speed internet-- they basically throw their money away.

Actually, they abuse the system, and hurt themselves in the process. Would it shock you to know that college students are actually able to pay for school, living expenses, and a few luxuries. But it's just not enough for them. So they pay for school out of their pockets-- or with the help of their parents-- and then take out loans to by everything they ever wanted. Banks love them. I think they're idiots.

I'm not saying you have to be thrifty-- just take advantage of the system in front of you. I got by living at home, using the computers in the university library (I bought a used computer from a local business for $25 a couple years ago and it works like a dream-- though I'm blogging from my boss' computer on campus while I fill in for him), writing notes (as opposed to typing), without an iPod, without a fast car or gas-guzzling SUV, without this world of excess.

Hey, it seems to be the American way to live in excess, to load yourself with status symbols, and appear to be this great person. You're compensating for a lack of something.

I don't need to look cool or act cool. I don't need to flash money around. Why not? Because I'm not on barrowed money. I am free-- debt-free.

Why I Love the Cubs

2007-06-02T01:41:00.000-05:00

If you couldn't tell from the title-- or any previous entries on this blog-- this post is going to smell of sarcasm. I mean, if you know me, you know I'm a Cardinals fan, and tend to bask in the glow of the lovable losers.

It's been growing since birth.

In the interests of full disclosure I should let it be noted that I am the product of a mixed marriage-- my mother being a Cubs fan, my father a Cardinals fan. Also for the record, my brother is a Cardinals fan. Mom fought a losing battle on that one-- though she had me on her side until about age 4. My dad maintains he always knew I would come around.

Going to St. Louis on a semi-regular basis for Cubs-Cardinals series was always fun, and people passing us on the streets always took pity on my brother and me.

So yesterday's brawl in the 3rd-base dugout of Wrigley Field was really just a laughing matter for me. Then the stories continued to pour in about the incident between pitcher Carlos Zambrano and catcher Michael Barrett started to roll in. Let's just say I will be making sure I get to read the Chicago Tribune for the next couple days.

The fight itself was rather pathetic-- at least what I could see of it watching on TBS. I believe Peter McNealy landed more punches than either combatant. Baseball players should stick to what they know best-- adjusting themselves, spitting, and taking steroids.

There was a similar scene just last year between Kansas City's Runelvys Hernandez and John Buck in Cleveland. Hernandez, like Zambrano, was tired of getting hit hard during the game and decided to try to hit something back. He failed. How Hernandez ever missed Buck's oversized chin-- who knows? Zambrano missed with his punch, though he did manage to bitchslap Barrett and then attempt to scratch him like a Mary. (Later reports say that Barrett chased Zambrano down the clubhouse tunnel, where Zambrano did land one on Barrett-- forcing Barrett out of the game, and to the hospital.)

For a Cardinals fan like myself, this is just one more thing in the repetoir to use against those pitiful beings known as Die-Hard Cubs fans. Now, I understand the Cardinals are not exactly tearing up the National League-- we're actually assaulting the disabled list and obituaries, for the time being, but really I'm beginning to think the Cubs are finding new and amazing ways to keep the spotlight on Major League Baseball's freakshow.

That said, the Redbirds are the reigning champions-- a place the Cubs haven't been in 98 years. In fact that haven't even sniffed the World Series since 1945. It has to be driving the Cubs nuts right now. The Red Sox break the curse of the Bambino, then the Southsiders take the crown, and to cap it off the Cardinals win after that. (Somebody wake up the Brewers, it's their year.)

If it's not a comedy of errors in the field it's a black cat in front of the dugout at Shea, or a goat being banned from Wrigley, or Leon Durham spilling Kool-aid on his glove, or Dave Kingman vowing to break the team RBI record (191: Hack Wilson, 1930).

Did Kingman even get 191 RBI in his full tenure in Chicago? OK, it took him 2 seasons.

You can't help but laugh when watching the Cubs play. A couple years ago WGN was running commercials as Chicago's home for comedy, sports, and news-- or something to the like. My dad and I are convinced the first draft stopped at the second comma-- you're home for Comedy Sports. After all, the Cubs were there, the White Sox were not good, the Bulls were rubbish... all they needed were the Blackhawks to hold the monopoly. We held out hope, but it never happened.

Though, the Cubs did have their moment in the limelight. I was convinced that the 2003 season was going to be the year of the Cubs. There I was, flipping out at the thought of the Cubs actually going to a World Series-- and with it, the Rapture. Yet through it all, there was my father, sitting calmly. He just kept saying 'wait for it'.

When Steve Bartman reached up and knocked the ball away from Moises Alou, I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed a bit. But my father was still calm, still waiting-- as if to say '...but wait, there's more'. When Alex Gonzalez booted a sure inning-ending double play at short my father finally sat up and said 'there it is'.

He knew all along. You see, with my father it's not that he hates the Cubs. It's that they always find some new and amazing way to blow a sure thing. As he told me 'how can anyone cheer for these guys'?

There it is, why I love the Cubs and the wisdom of my father. Oh, and for those of you interested, the circus is at Wrigley Field this year. All the clowns are wearing blue pinstripes.

Allow Myself to Introduce Myself

2007-05-30T23:35:00.000-05:00

From the same people who built a bridge to nowhere (I-480 and Dodge/30th), and used to have the only interchange where you actually had to exit to stay on the same road (I-80 at the I-480/US-75 exchange) comes a real doozy. Or is that snoozy?

In all of it's infinite wisdom, the City of Omaha is buying new manhole covers which now resemble the Omaha City seal. The design isbacked by the Omaha Chamber of Commerce in effort to sell people on the city of Omaha. It is all part of a push to bring more people to Omaha.

So, let me get this straight. To bring more people, and more money into Omaha, we are doing something that might (and I can't stress might enough) get the attention of a few casual walkers in the Old Market? Am I missing something? Shouldn't we be trying to bring people to Omaha from outside the city?

I'm not talking about me-- living all of 25 feet from city limits. I'm talking people from Sioux City, Kansas City, Denver, Des Moines, Chicago, Minneapolis. Shouldn't they be our target audience?

Surely we could have thought of more obvious marketing campaigns. Ones placed outside of city limits, where people who aren't normally in Omaha might see them.

Think: Wall Drug. Where do you start seeing signs for Wall, South Dakota? I know they are prevalent throughout Minnesota, but I wouldn't be totally shocked to find out there are a few in Wisconsin.

And it works. I can remember my father saying he'd be damned if we were going to stop in a tourist trap, like Wall. But by the time you get there, and you realize there isn't much else around-- you stop. Wall Drug built itself on free water. Everyone else in Wall (and the surrounding area) offered free water, but Wall Drug advertised it.

This is as bad of an idea as when 'O!' replaced the (very) brief slogan: 'Omaha: Rare, Well Done'. About three years ago, the city started painting red 'O!'s on the streets. I can only remember where one of them was (72nd and Dodge), but I can also tell you I have no idea if it's still there. Like the manholes, most of us around here drive too fast to notice or care they exist.

So apparently people are supposed to come to Omaha to come see the fancy new manhole covers-- all of them with the city seal on them. Thanks, I'll pass.

But I do have an idea. There is a way to turn manhole covers into a tourism draw. Right now the U.S. Treasury and U.S. Mint are pumping out state quaters. Perhaps if Omaha were to make manhole covers in the designs of the back (tails side) of the quarters, people might come to check it out. You don't even have to stop there-- do this with all coins... maybe even international coins. You know people would come to check that out. Heck, they'd probably even try to steal them. And when they try to steal them, you throw the book at them-- huge fines, money that goes to the city. You're spending money to make money.

That is rare, and well done. You see, you have to think these things through.

It's Just a Car

2007-05-24T19:20:00.001-05:00

When did owning a car become similar to being a card-carrying member of a political party?

Seriously, why do I have to drive down the road to see Calvin pissing on a Ford emblem, a Dodge emblem, and a Chevrolet emblem in a span of two and a half blocks? (Actually, he was squatting on the Ford emblem, but still....) Clearly not all of you work for one of the major American car manufacturers... so what is the deal?

Do I have to declare myself as an Independant in the world of automobiles? Or does the fact that I drive a Plymouth make me a target regardless of what I really think of this trichotomy? The way some of you drive, it is hard to tell.

Am I naive to think this is just some macho red-neck circle jerk-- excuse me, NASCAR rivalry thing, or do you honestly all think one type of the car is the be-all, end-all of automobiles?

To be truthfully honest with you, I don't see the point-- kinda like NAPCAR (no, that's not a typo). A car is a car, whether it be the 1983 Ford LTD I inherited from my grandfather, my brother's old 1986 GMC Suburban (which he got from my other grandfather), or the 1997 Plymouth Breeze I drive now. Oh my God... Bless me father, for I have sinned-- I've driven cars made by all three American car manufacturers... I've also driven my mother's Nissan Sentra.

Surely, I'm going to hell for this. But I don't care. A car is a car. It has one purpose-- to get me from Point 'A' to Point 'B'. I don't care much for speed, nor do I care for sound, and does it really matter what a car looks like?

Some of you with dented bumpers, and primer showing should think before you answer that. You're no cooler for have car scars, a subwoofer that rattles the garage door open, tinted windows, lack a muffler because 'it sounds really cool to have a loud car', or rule because you drive a certain make of car.

You're all strutting, which means you making up for the lack of something else.

So seriously, let Calvin relieve himself in a more appropriate place-- I suggest the comic strip bathroom. Besides, if you really want to grind someone's gears, mention the imports.

It's funny... you never see Calvin draining it on a BMW badge.

Street Signs, Street Sense, Street Smarts, and Street Sweepers

2007-05-07T12:32:00.000-05:00

It has been almost a month since I last blogged, and I hope you all understand April is a busy month. This is the first blog from 'the real world'... sort of. I've graduated, but I'm still looking for work. Perhaps my op-ed skills will land me a job somewhere.

Thank you to those of you who came up to visit and celebrate this weekend. I hope the directions were good. Giving directions is somewhat of an artform in Omaha. I can see Julia Sweeney giving directions to my house: "you're looking for the intersection of Burdette and 151st Streets, you'll tunr right from 156th Street onto Burdette, go to the stop sign, then procede ahead, you'll come across a sign that says '151st Avenue', that's not you street, you want to go past that, past 151st Circle, beyond 151st Street Avenue Circle, to the fourth street sign that says '151st', that's your street."

Seriously, who named these streets? Perhaps a suggestion, it's the digital age... let's go with 151st Street, 151.1 Circle, 151.2 Drive, and 151.3 Avenue. Something distinguishing, please.

Of course, none if this suprises me, considering you need a dunebuggy to get near my house. You see, in their infinite wisdom, Douglas County has major issues with winter weather-- the least of which is an inability to put their plows to the pavement (see previous blog entry: Snow Emergency or Snow Panic?)-- has used sand to help those cars who got stuck back in February. Beyond the fact that it took them three days to send a plow through the neighbourhood-- and I understand they had better things to do like firing plow drivers for helping people get to their doctor's appointments-- and even then they only made a 12-foot pile of snow at the top of the hill I live on, it appears to me they haven't a clue of how to deal with winter weather... like it is some rare freaky-nature-y thingy, that NEVER happens.

Now it's been explained to me that growing up in suburban Chicago, I grew up on a priority street. I don't know how, it was a street that went about 5 blocks-- started at Burger King, crossed the train tracks next to the train station, and ended at the school. There were definately more-travelled roads. But even in that situation, you'd thing Omaha, Douglas County, and the State of Nebraska would know what a priority street is. Here's a hint, pretty much every neighbourhood has a thru-street... clear those, and at least give us some hope of getting in or out of our houses. Seriously, Douglas County is only about 360-square miles... half of which is Omaha proper. It's not that much ground to cover, considering much of it is rural.

But my favourite part of this, is the fact that sand is the preferred method of removing stuck cars. Now, the local Maaco and body shop owners are going to love me for this, but perhaps it's time to make the full switch to salt. Here's why: generally speaking the first quarter-inch of snow melts when it hits the pavement, because the earth is warmer than the air around it-- simple geology, happens to be true. If you start laying down salt when it starts to snow, you're going to keep about quarter- to half-inch of snow from accumulating on the pavement. You see, the salt actually melts snow and ice... sand just sits there. It does nothing!

So, why am I bringing this up in May? Because it's May, and if you've driven near my house recently you'll see the nice piles of sand at that bottom of the hill I live on. Yes, that's the sand they threw in front of cars to help them get up the hill. It didn't work. Cars were still stuck, and the plows then complained that they couldn't get through because of stuck cars.

Just a thought: do your job right in the first place, and some of us could have made it to our driveways!

Here is the beauty of using salt instead of sand. When the salt has melted as much snowand ice as it can... it evaporates, it's gone, nowhere to be seen. As opposed to the sand, which continues to exist. You see, in Omaha, we tend to get frog-choking storms-- torrential downpours, to the point I can look out my window and see white-water rapids as the rain rushes down the street across the potholes. The end result of this biblical tide, is that all the sand that was left in the street has been taken with the tide down the hill to a basin at the bottom of the the hill-- where a couple busy intersections exist. It is not a comforting feeling to be driving down hill, have to weave around parked cars, and then risk sliding through an intersection because my tires are on sand. My brakes should not be locking up at the blistering speed of 25 miles per hour.

Another suggestion: invest in some street sweepers. Oh, I know-- who the hell am I, coming from Illinois, to make all these outlandish suggestions!? Perhaps I'm someone with a brain, with an understanding of what reality is like. I have now concepts, and ideas that frighten Nebraskans, but make sense to Iowegians and anyone else with the god-given ability to think.

But really, once every couple weeks, send out some street sweepers-- it will make the city look so much cleaner. I'd settle for once a month.

OK, someone is going to say it: 'all these suggestions, they cost money you know.' Yeah, I know. But think of it this way. If I'm not repairing my car from having rocks shot through the windshield, or having dents pounded out from sliding on sand into another car-- I have more money to pay taxes. And if I'm going to the body shop to get my car rust-proofed, the body shop is going realize how great for business it is that the city/county/state is throwing down sand. They're going to encourage it! They might even help you pay for some of it... and you can tax their income!

But if you REALLY want to be thrifty... send the sweepers out there to pick up the sand at the bottom of the street, then throw it back on the pile to use next winter. Just get it off the streets in the summer.

As always, I'm here to help.

Who Will Save My Soul?

2007-04-08T23:50:00.000-05:00

First of all, I hope everyone had a happy Easter-- or whatever holiday you may be celebrating in the vicinity of days we currently are living.

I realize it has been quite some time since I really ripped into a topic. Looking back on some of my first blogs, there were some classics. I can't promise a profanity-laced tirade of old, but I'm looking to get back into form.

With that in mind, I think it's time for me to find a new parish. Due to schedule constraints, I am not a weekly participant at church-- though I find other ways to worship. Seriously, I have found peace with alternative worship (not to say I'm worshiping potatoes, but more some other form of worship than weekly mass). It goes back to my days in junior hockey, when Saturday night and Sunday morning, you often find yourself at an ice rink or on a bus. I still frequently find myself at the ice rink when the Catholics celebrate, so I'm not making excuses, but rather explaining where I am at in terms of Christian worship.

Moving on... those rare occaisions when I find myself in the physical church building, I realize that it is time for me to find somewhere else to worship. More or less, the fact that I can't go five minutes without not understanding something the people of my parish do should be cause enough. As it is, it leaves me an open door to find the situation somewhat humourous.

I happen to belong to one of the richest parishes in the Omaha Archdiocese, which is an uncomfortable feeling. To start, I feel like a peasant... and wouldn't you, if you worshiped in a place dubbed the 'Taj Mahal of West Omaha'?

Before mass starts, they have us greet our neighbours with a handshake. I'm already having my doubts about this day. Church is not a place to socialize-- it's a place of worship. You want to socialize? Wait for Bingo Night. Besides, isn't this flu season? I know strep throat is making it's way around town-- perhaps we should think better of this. I know I'll have to take my chances later on in mass... but I can do without a morning greeting. Besides, I'm not used to being up a 6:30am for a 7:30 mass... I think we're all still just a little tired.

Opening hymn... the priest and a deacon walk in... both wearing microphone headsets. I can hear Al Michaels in the press box saying: 'Your concelebrants for todays service are from the Big Ten Conference'. So you can imagine how hard it was for me to not crack up when the preists mic failed to work. Really, just speak loudly, and be heard. You don't need the mic.

Believe me, I know. I work in ice rinks-- lots of noise, terrible accoustics... and people can still hear me. Just lean back an give it all you got. Besides, I gave tours of the building just after it opened-- we all raved about the acoustics of the building. But if you want to be sure, perhaps we should start building churches like the Mormon Tabernacle. Ever been there? Great acoustics-- you can hear a pin drop... and they'll be glad to demonstrate.

While we're talking about referees... when did every hymn and reading become open to interpretive dance? I don't need inflection, we've all read the passage before, we know the song-- you're just a little too into this, right now. You're not there to be a spectacle, and the only person who should be interpreting the passages is the man who gets paid to do so-- the priest. Let him do his job.

Speaking of getting paid... don't priests take a vow of poverty? Just one more reason to do away with those microphones. Really, it's a luxury we could do without. I think my offeratory could be much better spent-- repairs to the building, perhaps a real charity, or a poorer congregation could use the funds. Here we are with state-of-the-art technology is this very nice building... but growing up my dad and I remember our parish wasn't able to pay to heat the building in the winter. Just something to think about.

Keeping with the football theme... I walked by a full-emersion baptismal font on the way in. Surely in the interest of bringing in more money into the church, perhaps we should begin selling hot tub seats for mass. Might work.

That reminds me... what is up with people saving seats. The people across the aisle from me chased off three other families to save their seats. Wait a minute, I got up early to make sure I got a seat. When your family gets here, I want to see their ticket stubs. There is no reason to save seats in church. If you're there, you're there. If you're not, you're not. And nobody needs that much personal space.

I sat through a homily (sermon) trashing any and all other religions-- how PC of them I thought, as I realized what a load of bull the homily was. At the present time, perhaps starting crusades is not something we want to do... our government has that handled pretty well, thank you. Let's be a bit more open-minded here.

Here's something I think is wrong on several levels. During the offeratory, the priest grabs a basket, sits in front of the altar and hugs the children who bring money to him.

Where, or where do I begin on this one? I'm not much for children being in church-- especially now that their parents allow them to bring toys with them. Babies, I understand... but whatever happened to Sunday School? Surely these children are not comprehending the sermon. Is there really a point for them to be there? I don't think so. Besides, is it really wise for a priest-- in the current climate-- to have contact with these children. I think it's part of the problem. Let's help them out a bit-- don't put them in that situation. It's lose-lose.

Then there is communion. Apparently the Archdiocese is mandating that everyone bow before receiving communion. Can anybody confirm that for me? As it is, I'm waiting for Vatican III to make that one official. I don't see how bowing before communion makes me any more penitent. It's kinda like how my dad said the church has wavered on blessing yourself after recieving communion. My dad was taught yes, his brothers taught no, and I was taught yes-- I guess it's just personal preference. Still, I'm not bowing... my body is not as limber as it used to be... I don't care to throw my back out for the sake of making the Archbishop happy.

That said, I'm waiting for everything to shut down because I refuse to do this. Come on, someone in this rich parish is bound to throw a fit over it-- which makes me wonder how guests would be accepted at church. It would be great, communion lines come to a standstill as they wait for me to bow. Panic, chaos, and disorder... my work here is done.

But what bothers me more than anything else... is what happens post-mass. People applauding in church. It's not a concert. The choir and their dances do not need to be encouraged-- but if you really want to show your approval, take the time to walk up to them to tell them how great they sounded. Really, that gesture means more than generic (and inapropriate) applause. Besides, it will help thin out the traffic jam out in the parking lot-- people arriving before we have a chance to leave. Makes me yearn for the days of my youth when I used to walk to church.

So there it is... my little rant about going to church. I know, I'm going to hell for this-- and so is anyone who laughed.

But seriously, can anyone recommend their parish for worship?

Bond... James Bond

2007-04-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

No secret. I am a huge fan of Ian Flemming's 007.

In fact, as I blog tonight, I am in the process of viewing most of the 007 collection. On right now, 'A View To a Kill'. (...and somewhere Matty is making a comment about Duran Duran, Rio, my baldness, and other jokes he's beat into the ground.)

Now, I will get very little argument over who the best James Bond was-- Sean Connery, he made the role... he is the role. I can even forgive him for 'Never Say Never Again'. Beyond Connery, I say next in line is Pierce Brosnan. For some reason I wish they could have gone from Connery to Brosnan and skipped George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Timothy Daulton. For all intents and purposes, Brosnan revived the role-- and had he been the original, he'd get serious consideration for Best Bond Ever.

As for Lazenby, I think he gets a raw deal. OK, the role became a one-off for him, but he did it on his own, feeling that the role would fade with the times. Maybe he saw where the role was headed, and wanted no part of it.

Lazenby was a victim of a poor script. I'm sure someone reading here is going-- are you kidding me... he cried! James Bond, Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, and the Lone Ranger never cried... Lazenby cried as Bond. So Lazenby showed an emotional side of Bond-- I don't think anyone would have said much if it had been Connery crying. Besides, it was scripted, not just him on his own.

Bond is a movie character, not strictly a sexual icon like Fabio. I mean, we all laughed our asses off then Fabio had his nose broken on a rollercoaster. That's just justice for most men.

Then again, I can't see Connery crying. That's more of a Roger Moore thing. Even Albert Broccoli said Lazenby had the potential to be the best Bond.

It's just that our final memory of Lazenby was of him crying in his car, dead wife in his arms. And then he walked away from Bond. Really, it just wasn't a good script for a new actor in an established role.

Now before I get too far and someone asks what I think of Daniel Craig... I should say that Casino Royale is next up on the viewing list, and it will be the first time I've seen it. I'll get back to you on Craig.

As for Roger Moore. I'm convinced he nearly ruined the role. Seriously, he's just not a good actor... he didn't have the witicisms of Connery, and just wasn't tough enough for the role. That, and he held on to it way too long. 'A View To a Kill' belongs in the same pile as 'Never Say Never Again'... aging actor, probably shouldn't have been in the role.

Now maybe Moore was a victim of bad production. But much of it was bad acting. Have you ever seen the opening scene from 'The Spy Who Loved Me'? Moore is skiing down hill-- and while it's obvious he's in front of a green screen (though, at the time it was probably blue), and he's got this dopey look on his face. I swear I can hear the director yelling: 'hey moron, you're supposed to be skiing!'

Like I said, maybe it's the production team. The stunts in the Moore movies sucked, and were totally unbelievable-- though, that could just be those courses in Film Theory and Criticism shining through.

Of course, Moore would later appear in 'Spice World'. (Thank you to imdb.com for that little tidbit.)

Let's put it this way: Moore had the best woman in 'supporting roles' and I still don't care much for his movies. Barbara Bach, Jane Seymour (yes, Dr. Quinn), and Carole Bouquet... all knockouts (Bouquet and Bach being my #1 and #2 Bond Girls of all time... with Brosnan foil Famke Janssen #3)-- I don't know a single straight man that would pass on any of them... and I just get this sick feeling that Moore got to star with them. Can we give them to Connery?

With that in mind, I rank Daulton ahead of Moore. Daulton just happened to luck into the role, when Brosnan was not available due to a commitment to 'Remington Steele'. Like Lazenby, Daulton gets a raw deal. Obviously he couldn't fix the damage Moore had done to the role. But he held the fort until Brosnan could take on the role.

'Goldeneye' is by far the best Bond movie ever. 'Goldfinger', 'Dr. No', and 'From Russia With Love' are great, but not quite the best. 'Goldeneye' saved the franchise... and gave us Famke Janssen (as Xenia Onatopp) with her best way to die, ever-- ironically the first actual intimate scene in a Bond movie.

So there you have it: Connery, Brosnan, Lazenby, Daulton, and Moore... in that order, with Craig yet to be seen.

And for Joel: Bouquet, Bach, Janssen, Hatcher, and Andress as the five best Bond Girls.

Life Is Life... Life is Love

2007-03-30T23:20:00.000-05:00

Pardon me, this week... apparently I've been a moral compass-- and people aren't liking it.

So, I like to take a stand from time to time... sue me. Though, you should know I'm not perfect, and sometimes I should take my own advice. I have my internal battles.

But while I'm on topic-- and still being a moral compass-- there is one thing that really grinds my gears: The abuse of children.

I can't find an excuse for this anywhere. Because there isn't one. There is nothing that should come between parents and the love for their children. Really. You love someone enough to perform the ultimate act of love with them-- and let's make this crystal-clear, sex is the truest sign of affection for another person and is not to be an abused priviledge-- and then you can't handle the result?

There was a story in the local news about two parents neglecting their infant child by withholding formula. You monsters-- how in the eyes of God can you do such a thing? I can't comprehend it. What possible excuse is there for turning your back on the needs of your child?

(You can't tell right now, but I'm struggling to find the words right now to say about this... I'm just making frustrated noises....)

It's a child. Pure and innocent. Unable to care for his/herself. Dependent on the very love with which he/she was created.

It's disgusting that anyone could be so cruel. I so badly want to scream in anger, or just go off on a profanity-laced tirade about this.

...And then there is the lead story in Omaha...

A 22-year old man is on trial for murdering his 19-year old girlfriend-- whose body has not been found-- with a Bangkok Battlesword.

I'm sure someone, somewhere is going... no body? No crime. I guess that's for the jury to decide, but when you hear the details of the case, and you just get sicker and sicker by the moment.

The missing 19-year old, was pregnant. A pool of her blood was found on the boyfriend's bed, with blood splattered all over the walls. The boyfriend, who also has another girl pregnant (yes-- he's scum) was looking up blood-flow on the internet shortly before girlfriend #1 (or apparently #2 in his case) disappeared.

Seriously, this guy is an ex-wife and about 400 pounds short of being Ted Kennedy. Not too far off.

But this is where I fight one of those internal battles, and I struggle with my Christian teachings...

This guy has clearly selected himself out of society, he was abused love, abused people, and has killed two lives-- yes, a fetus is still a life, not to mention ruining the lives of two others and effecting several others. Killing a pregnant girlfriend is the ultimate in child abuse-- it's abortion... and it's wrong. You've used an act of love to create, then you take a preventative measure to it's life?

I'm sorry, the correct answer was 'abstinence'... ABSTINENCE. You obviously did not love this woman, but you expressed your love for her in a way reserved for the truest of love. See you in hell.

No, he's not on the same level as Hussein, Hitler, Milosevic, Pol Pot, Castro, Bundy, or Gacy... but he has crossed the line... and I think he did it with one life.

The irony of the situation is, the 22-year old is only charged with second degree murder... Bangkok Battlesword, pool of blood, internet search of blood flow, dead pregnant girlfriend-- it doesn't take a leap of faith to see it's premeditated.

The battle I fight with myself is that the Catholic church opposes Capital Punishment, though Old Testament teachings (which seems to be all I remember from four years of Catholic high school, and 26 years of faith) preach 'an eye for an eye'. I see arguments for both sides.

Here I am arguing that these people have committed the most heinous of acts-- taking another persons life-- and that they have selected themselves out of Eden (voted themselves off the planet, if you must go there) and are no longer worthy of living.

So... my answer for taking one's life, is to take one's life? If you use Capital Punishment to put them to death, shouldn't you then put the executioner to death? It's spirals from there. Can I argue being wrong is different than being wrong with a purpose? I mean, you are allowed to protect yourself, right?

Now I'm catching myself in a excuse to kill. Don't get me wrong, killing is wrong... but you see the internal demons lining up for a battle-royale.

So, the phone lines are open... I want to know what you think. Please be open-minded and respectful.

The Times They Are A'Changin'

2007-03-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

Four years later... and we're still fighting. Did I miss something? Didn't our fearless leader declare the war in Iraq over three years ago? Then why are we still fighting? Did we formally declare war? On who?

...And if the war is over, why did we not sign a formal treaty? Somebody please explain to me what the heck is going on!

I have never supported this war, or police action, or crusade, or whatever Bush, Junior wants to call it. Ill-concieved, ill-advised, and illogical-- not a good mix. It makes me sick.

But what makes me even sicker are the new guerilla tactics being employed by the radicals in the Middle East. To take a car, use children as cover to gain access through a checkpoint, and then blow up the car... WITH THE KIDS INSIDE! That's just the grossest misconduct of human nature. It's worse than the Russians strapping bombs to dogs, and sending them after German Panzer Tanks.

...and the end result? The Germans started shooting any dog they saw.

Ahh... you just saw the connection, a history of over-reaction. Isn't that how we got into this mess? An over-reaction. Yes, many innocent people died in September of 2001, but instead of a diplomatic and proportional response, we began a crusade against the Muslim peoples of the Middle East. Call it anti-Terrorism if you want, it still doesn't make it right.

Really, what reason could anyone possibly have for sacrificing those who don't know better? Dogs have feelings, as do children. More irrational-- you can't even argue that the children will be rewarded for killing infidels... 72 long-haired virgins mean nothing to infants and toddlers... among other obvious reasons. Inexcusable... and the Good Lord is watching. It is a violation of human rights to purposely exhaust the life of a non-willing person-- it even violates the Old Testament stance of 'an eye for an eye'.

The point is, we don't even know who we are fighting. We've been after bin Laden-- can't find him. We found Hussein, and put him to rest-- well done, there. But did Hussein really have anything to do with the World Trade Center and why we were in the Middle East?

No. None at all. He was collateral. He posed a bit of a threat... or more of a resistance to our efforts, and so we chased him off. Not right, we strayed from the task at hand. I'm still attempting to figure out how Iraq fits into the equation at all.

bin Laden is believed to be hiding somewhere in Afghanistan or Pakistan-- that is where our focus should be. We should have handled this situation like diplomats and good-will ambassadors... ask for help, and if they refuse threanten sanctions, then follow through on the threat. Instead, we've declared war on a bunch of renegades who have no firm connection to any government. We're chasing a ghost. Just like in Vietnam, we have absolutely no clue who we are fighting.

Now we're complaining that they're not fighting by the rules. Well, unfortunately all is fair in love and war-- expect the unexpected. Just because we would never dream of using children as decoys to breakthrough enemy lines, doesn't mean others won't. It is nothing more than complacency on our parts-- and it is that sort of complacency that started this mess six and half years ago.

Do you think the Germans were expecting the Russians to use dogs as weapons? No.
Did the Germans expect the Brits to be throwing dirty daipers at them? No... but it was all the English has for weapons at the time.
Did we expect the VietKong to be shooting from trees in ambush attacks? No... but we should have known better.
Did the English expect the Colonials to be shooting from behind rocks and trees while they marched in a straight line, the way all good armies fight? No. But you see where I'm going with this.

Times change, technology and techniques change, and we need to adapt to it. You can not reason with unreasonable people. And radicals are never reasonable... but they are logical and methodical.

So we are fighting a war against someone... and we're getting frustrated. That is no excuse to destroy everything in our wake-- it's reckless, and I can only hope that when the President leaves office (and maybe even before then) the Hague says something about it. Though, I'm sure our Maker will have his way with Georgie-boy.

This is the fourth time in American History where we've started on the wrong track, and let it snowball into an embarassment. Custer and Pickett had brilliant ideas to fight uphill-- and we know how that went for them. Thinking about it, weren't both of them fighting the wrong side of the equal-rights fight-- Custers trying to rout the natives, and Pickett fighting for slavery? Vietnam... only the government knows for sure whether we had actually cause to be involved there-- and seeing as how we got spanked, I'm guess God is telling us the Americans were wrong there. And now the Middle East....

OK, I'm sure God is not approving of the use of children in warefare, but if we had this the right way, perhaps we wouldn't be in this position. It's really just a stalemate. The 'terrorists'-- whomever they may be-- are in the wrong for the senseless killing of innocent people, no matter how evil they believe them to be. But we are wrong for playing the religion card, and for the other ways we have gone about this 'war'.

I am anti-war. Not just this war-- any war. There are no good wars.

But I also understand that sometimes you do have to fight for what you believe. Not what you want... what you truly and deeply believe is right.

War is just an anacronymn for 'We Are Right'. Those who are right shall become victorious...

...but what is no one if right?

I'm Going To London!

2007-03-05T00:50:00.000-06:00

It's the first weekend of March, and it did nothing but snow all week. The big snow of last weekend was really a bunch of hype-- I think we got 5 inches, all of it early enough Sunday to keep schools from closing. But Thursday we got 12 more inches-- that even closed down the U... but it's really no shock why.

Four days later, it's Sunday now, and the plows have just now cleared the street out front of my house.

Somebody explain this to me...

The City of Omaha mandates that homeowners clear public sidewalks within 24 hours of the last snow or face fines. Yet, four days later and I'm still waiting for a snowplow!

Brilliant. Really, it's more ridiculous than you can imagine. I have spent the better part of the last two days digging cars out of the snow, pushing them into driveways-- you know... earning good karma points. Though, I did see a plow in my neighbourhood yesterday... PLOW UP!

Apparently the plows can randomly choose where they wish to plow. How do I know this? Because up around the corner from my house was a 5-foot high, 8-foot deep snow drift... blocking the entire street.

Like, the plow went up hill one way, piled the snow there. The went up the hill the other way, and piled the snow in the same place. It was the Berlin Wall of snow drifts. 'No, I'm sorry, you can't go there anymore-- you are cut off from there and anything that may be there-- family, cars, jobs, duckies...'

So, what better time than now to talk about my Spring Break plans?

As you can tell, I'm headed to London... Ontario, that is.

Actually, I'm going to Detroit-- but who really wants to say they're going to Detroit for Spring Break? You want to make it soud like you're going some place fun, right? South Padre Island... Estes Park... Cabo San Lucas... somewhere exotic. Of course, if I wanted to impress people I could say I'm going to East Beirut...

Beirut... Detroit... same difference. Just sounds like I'm going someplace semi-nice to say I'm leaving the country.

...And I am. I'm headed up to Detroit with Dave, Glen, and Chaz-- my associates in producing the Mike Kemp Show-- for the CCHA Final Four. While we're up there we intend to head across the border to that beautiful land of free socialized health care to the north.

Chaz is looking at going to film school at the University of Western Ontario in London, so we're indulging him by taking advantage of the proximity to where we will be. We'll take an extra day, enjoy the clean air of the Great White North and if the spirit moves us, maybe do some work.

OK, is anybody else thinking what I'm thinking? Western Ontario-- London? When I think Western Ontario, I think Kenora, Thunder Bay, at least Sault Ste. Marie.

London? That's more south-central. Hell, I think it's slightly south of Detroit. There is definately like 600 miles of Ontario west of London. That's 1000 kilometers for those of you on the metric system. I think London is actually closer to Quebec than it is to Manitoba.

Just don't go there if you want to major in Geography.

OK, Detroit isn't that bad of a place. And believe me in my last visit there I survived walking the streets downtown at 3 in the morning. I also survived an accidental visit to the 8-Mile. Yes, THAT 8-Mile.

Fortunately the people responsible for those adventures will not be traveling with me this time.

So there you have it. My plans for Spring Break. See you in London.

Snow Emergency or Snow Panic?

2007-02-24T22:55:00.000-06:00

It's February...
...it's snowing.

Yet, somehow I can't help but laugh at how the City of Omaha-- or this entire area, for that matter-- responds to the natural beauty that is snow. I'm looking at about 4 or 5 inches of snow out my window right now, with a prediction for 8-12 inches forecast. And it is a heavy snow, as it was raining earlier today, but I still don't get the panic.

Growing up in suburban Chicago 8-12 inches of snow was nothing. Still had to go to school... and I could walk there. The elementary schools were at the end of the block, and dad walked two blocks to the train station. Junior High was a mile walk, but still-- had to walk there. The only hope for a snow day was that the school buses were snowed in-- or that they hadn't plowed the superintendant's street before 6:00. Usually neither happened until about 24 inches of snow.

We had more of a chance of getting a day off for bitter cold-- as in dangerously cold-- than for snow.

Does this mean I'm turning into my parents?... walking to school in 15 inches of snow, uphill both ways, with a 75-mph wind in your face (again, both ways).

I want an explanation on that one.

Either there was a hill or valley between the house and school-- which means you walked uphill AND downhill both ways to school. Or everyday between 8:00 and 3:00 there was a earthquake-- which nobody felt-- that changed the level at which the house and school both resided.

Did you think I wouldn't figure it out?

Now, Omaha is a different situation than Chicago. Omaha is a driving city-- and a 20-minute town at that. Doesn't matter if you're going to the store up the street, or all the way downtown to the arena. Twenty minutes... unless it's rush minute-- then it's closer to 25.

But I don't get why this city shuts down at the first sight of a snow flake. Seriously, if the wind blows the dandruff off the hair of someone in Denver, then entire state of Nebraska panics.

I just don't get it-- except that people can't drive here under normal conditions, so snow just magnifies the problem... as well as rain, wind, sunlight, darkness, and a partly cloudy conditions.

At least in Winnipeg the rule of thumb is, if you can't see the lines in the parking lot, it's a free-for-all. Just throw your car anywhere there is room. I guess Omaha is like that-- drive your car anywhere you find room-- those markings on the pavement mean nothing.

I think they're there for decoration.

But what I don't get is why all the churches are cancelling services tomorrow. Snow should not keep you from worship. Snow never stopped God. God created snow.

The catholics have it right. Get to church, come hell or high water. At this point, all the cancellations for services are non-Catholic churches. That said, the Catholics are cancelling Sunday school, and other religious education programs.

I'm not shocked. I mean, if you know anything about the Catholics, you know we don't believe in heating churches. So eight inches of snow is not a deterrent. Of course, you also usually within walking distance of a Catholic Church.

Rock Island, Illinois-- where most of my dad's family was living when I was growing up-- has three Catholic churches within a mile of each other. It goes back to the old historical Irish-Catholic, German-Catholic, and Polish-Catholic communities, and the stubborn nature of not being caught dead in a 'dirty' chruch.

Ironically, my grandmother, a member of the German-Catholic church had her funeral in the Irish-Catholic church... because they were painting her parish's church.

Well, as I was ranting here, I got a phone call from my boss. The hockey gams I was to ref tomorrow night-- because of the snow. Though, it's only flurrying right now. There hasn't been much of a change in the level of snow since I started typing.

Of course, we could always blame the Omaha media. They tend to hype things they shouldn't: Husker football, snow. It does create a less-than-ideal environment.

...and you all know how much I love to bag on the Omaha media.

Religious Renaissance

2007-02-21T23:22:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that I am a very outspoken person. It's also no secret that I like to challenge the majority-- not in an rebellious, down with the moral majority way... more of a you may think you know the truth kind of way. After all, sometime you need to stir the pot just to keep people honest. I take pride in sometimes being able to step outside of myself and think outside of the box.

Really, it can be quite fun to find this line of thought that is so far away from the generally accepted. It is even more fun when you have a fact that can back up what many see as a radical thought. Hitting people with that little tidbit just brings a priceless look to their faces.

After all, science explains nothing. In fact, it ignores contradicting opinion to an extent. Scientific fact only needs to be plausible 85% of the time to be accepted.

Though, that makes you think why a weatherman needs to be right only 35% of the time to be American Meterological Society approved. I really take no comfort in seeing an AMS approved forecast-- there's a 65% chance he's wrong!

So it should come as no shock to many of you that over the past several years of my life I've been experiencing what I call a religious renaissance.

Please don't call me a born-again Christian... Christianity was never dead to me. I just questioned it. I lost my faith-- not in God-- just the ability to blindly accept some of the teachings.

Amazingly, I was at a catholic high school when I started to lose faith. Having a former nun call you a heretic in class will do that to you. The simple reason, I questioned something (in my usual sarcastic way) and the teacher had no answer.

Was it so wrong of me to grow as a person by asking questions about things that didn't make sense? OK, thousands of people-- who now exist in light-weight carbon form-- are probably laughing at me from above. They were all burned at the stake for doing the same... kinda makes you love the freedoms we have now.

It set off an alarm in my mind that I didn't want to be a part of a church that couldn't accept that I had questions, that I wanted to know more. After all, doesn't everything have an explanation?

So for a few years I brushed off organized religion-- though I never renounced my faith. I just spent the past few years doing some soul searching, and doing it on my own terms. Some people go to a building with a man on the cross, others do so in the direction of Mecca... the world was my place of worship.

But now I laugh. A friend of mine was talking to me about introducing me to 'someone'-- but asked about my religious views. Fair enough, some people are not as open-minded about religion. And I took that moment to begin to look back at where I have been and where I am going. I've found myself right back in the arms of the Catholic church.

Who knew?

You see, perhaps it was God's will for me to go out and search my soul... knowing that by doing so my faith would grow again. What is even more shocking is that I've found myself quoting scripture on message boards and in personal conversations with friends. I guess it's not much of a shock condiering despite my journey, I still kept a Bible in my hockey locker.

Seriously, you can't be a goaltender in sports and not be religious. God, Jesus, Sacre Bleu (holy cheese-- and other holy things) ... they all come up a lot during games. Not necessarily appropriate, but you still acknowldge their existence.

I have been led back to my roots. The question is-- was that 'someone' my friend wanted to introduce me to an angel?

(What)-Free Oil?

2007-02-12T17:00:00.000-06:00

I've been meaning to post this for a couple weeks, but unfortunately I am usually reminded of it at o'dark-thirty, and not around my computer. Still, this ticks me off to no end.

There is a new oil company in Omaha-- and allegedly going national-- which opened it's doors this month. They call themselves Terror-Free Oil.

OK, now I've gone quite sometime without a profanity-laced rant on something, but please pardon me for a moment...

Terror-Free Oil?

Fuck off.

No, just... fuck off.

(Thank you.)

For me to go through everything I find offensive with that name, we would have a blog that reads longer than the game sheet of some recent hockey games I've called-- and believe me, I take a lot of crap for calling everything... though to my defence, that was the mandate given to us at the start of the year.

Back to the topic at hand, this should not be an option in the American business world. There is most definately a political statement being made by the owners of this rubbish branding, maybe saying a little more than they think.

To start, it's racist. It is nothing more than pure racism, at it's worst. There is no way about it-- in fact, there's a direct quote from the owner-- who I refuse to name-- made to the local media: "Terror Free Oil only buys oil that did not come from the Middle East."

Being a little stereotypical, aren't we?

Not everyone in the Middle East is a terrorist. Not everyone in the Middle East hates America. But obviously, this absent-minded, self-righteous, redneck of an owner hates everyone in the Middle East. That is just wrong.

...And contrary to what he thinks, it's un-American.

We are not a people who should be holding grudges. Seriously... is this not Black Heritage Month? Excuse me... is this not Equality Awareness Month? What kind of a message are we sending to the future generations of American by allowing, partonizing, and even promoting this kind of establishment?

It is unacceptable. If I were of Middle Eastern heritage, I'd be uber-pissed. You're not branding gasoline-- you're branding an entire group of people based on where they happened to have come from. It's racism any way to slice it.

This company would also have you believe that NONE of their oil comes from the Middle East.

Wow, does that statement open all sorts of doors.

Let's start with how they know this? The owner claims the information on the origin of the oil comes from the American Government. Now, if I have learned anything in almost 26 years on this planet-- all but about two of those in this country-- it's that the American Goverment should really never be cited as a source. They are of questionable integrity as it is, and let's face it-- if politicians were Pinocchio, we'd have about 301-million people impaled on the ever-growing noses of Congressmen, Senators, and Presidents.

And that number is generous, because it implies they haven't done any collateral damage to Canadians, Mexicans, or even stretched across an ocean or two to include Europeans or Asians.

We really don't know where this oil is coming from, and there is no way to prove it.

Of course, there is the other side of that equation: that the American Government is conspiring against foreign-oil. Yes, I just said it... the American Government may be in on this venture. And what a shame that would be. The ambassadors or our nation using dirty politics and ill-conceived notions in a fight against an alleged enemy.

Haven't I seen this movie already?

This does stink to high heaven of another anti-Muslim... anti-Arab... anti-something sentiments. It's not right. We can not continue to live by the mantra of 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' or 'the friend of my enemy is my enemy'. The world just does not work that way. The wonder of international business practices is this ever-growing web of business connections slowly bringing the world together.

Though, I can name one company that needs to be left out of that loop.

The fact that goverment would permit such a company to exist, let alone provide information to help this company stake a claim, is sickening to the point that I almost want to wish ill-will on this company and anybody involved with it.

I said almost... but being a Christian, I can't.

I can not believe the extents at which the ill-will towards the Middle East still exists. The attacks of September 11 were five and a half years ago. And while we shall never forget, we should have figured out by now that it was the act of a few, not of an entire region. Besides, pissing on the Middle East isn't going to help oil prices come down here on the homefront.

This is not Terror-Free Oil. This is Brain-Free Business and Common Sense-Free Practices.

It's pure rubbish.

We Interupt This Break...

2007-02-06T02:02:00.000-06:00

I'm just wondering... why do they never break into a commercial break with a special report or a test of the Emergency Alert System?

Anyways, I apologize for the recent silence of this blog. Like last year, work and more work have consumed most of my free time. However, I do encourage you to check out some of my college hockey rantings at Crimson Issue.

Anyone got thoughts for something I could blog on here?

What In The Wide Wide World of Sports Is Going On Here?

2007-01-02T00:48:00.000-06:00

"Look, I got into this because I like getting people to like sports. And I've turned into a PR man for punks and thugs. And any atrocity, no matter how ridiculous, or hideous, or childish, it doesn't matter. I make it sports. Ten-cent bagman whacks a skater's leg with a crowbar, that's sports. Second round draft pick gets cranky in a Houston bar, and that's sports. And let's not forget the mother of all great sports stories - a double homicide in Brentwood." -Casey McCall (Peter Krause), Sports Night (1998)

Did I miss something? Am I that far out of the loop? Am I just not cool? Or is the image of the clean-cut, all-American, sports hero going right out the window?

Seriously, I just don't get it anymore. There are a few things in the world of sports world that just boggle my mind. There are some behavioural issues in sports right now, and they need to be addressed.

Now, I'm not too far removed from my time as an athlete. I stopped playing competitive sports in 2004 (ok, the last competitive game I played in was in 2002), though I'm still active for recreational purposes. And I'm willing to bet things have not changed that much in the last three years.

Though, I will start with my old-fashioned views.

Tattoos. Now, I'm all for freedom of expression, but when did tattoos become a marker? You would be hard-pressed to find an active athlete today who does not have a tattoo. And I really don't have an issue with the tattoos in themselves, I have as issue with the behaviour that becomes associated with them-- and that is where it falls into this rant.

The strutting and showing off of muscles and tattoos is the core of everything that is wrong with the common-day athlete. It's all attitude. When you start showing off your body, it speaks volumes of your insecurities. Nobody is interested in how tough you think you are, and your willingness to step up to the needle for redecoration. We're also not interested in how much you bench. Really, who cares.

Tattoos and muscles have nothing to do with you ability on the field. Take it from a guy who has never-- and will never-- have dollar bills waved in his general direction.

Your 45 tattoos, and your ability to bench 600+ pounds will not help you to stop a hockey puck, they will not help you shoot a three-pointer, and they will not help you hit a baseball. Your ability to succeed in sport is dependent on something every scout looks for... they're called intangibles. It's all about your mind. Do you have good hand-eye coordination? Can you read the play? How do you respond in the face of adversity? Quite simply, can you play? That is what will keep you in the game.

Like it or not, your ability to bench 600+ pounds might actually hinder you. Your body was not intended to be maxed out like that. This is why we see so many people out with pulled muscled and cramps-- you body just can't operate in that way. Look at old-time players. Rarely missed a day. Wally Pipp missed one day-- and Lou Gehrig fought through headaches, broken bones, and those painful hangnails for the next 2,100+ games.

Muscles and tattoos are only for show, so stop acting all tough or bad-ass because you've destoyed your body.

...and speaking of just for show...

Celebrations. Stop that! We don't care if you can dance. Nobody has EVER made a sports team solely based on their ability to bust a move. However, players have been cut by teams for choosing the wrong moment to get jiggy with their bad selves.

Really, you just made a great play. That's nice. Now go do it again. There is still a game to be played.

Wayne Gretzky never celebrated a goal-- with the exception of when he broke Gordie Howe's record-- and in rare occurances like that, it's acceptable. Jim Brown never celebrate a touchdown with a little two-step, and Dick Butkus was too busy trying to rip the player's head off to stand up and jive-- and I don't think his knees could handle it, anyways.

But what really cracks me up, is in a preseason game, a marginal player on some NFL roster makes a tackle after a two yard gain, gets up and starts showboating for cheers, like he has just been annointed king of the world.

What are you celebrating? It's a successful play by the offense (they gained yards), in a meaningless game. So, why?

That's what I thought. End it.

Social Behaviour. In the past month, two NFL players have been involved in public conflicts at nightclubs. One of them is now dead.

Being an athlete is tough. You have to make a few more personal decisions than others. And, just like in a game, you have to be aware of the situation.

Here's the thing, as a player progresses to the upper levels of the development system they are given classes on how to conduct themselves in public.

I have been through several... like everytime I changed teams, I had to sit down with coaches, managers, and local police and pretty much listen to a lecture.

Maybe I was lucky that I changed teams so often, because I was getting lectured personally, as opposed to the team meeting at the start of the season.

And in these meetings they pretty much tell you all the details: the hot spots for problems, any recent problems there have been, they even tell you the age of consent for where you are living.

That last one makes people laugh because I can ring off the age of consent for several states and provinces, but they really leave no stone unturned. And it's usually all covered in the team rules.

So, it makes me scratch my head when you hear of a player getting hit with a paternity suit, or being arrested for a bar fight. They pretty much told you it would happen, they told you how to avoid it... and you did it anyways.

And with this becoming a more common occurance, I have a feeling you're going to start seeing a lot more morals clauses appearing in contracts. Hollywood has them for actors-- Wayne Rodgers left M*A*S*H over a morals clause. And I'm fairly sure major sports contracts have them, too. But it's only a matter of time before the clauses become bigger and bigger, and with it more and more public.

Being an athlete is not an invitation to do as you please. You want to be remembered for something-- express yourself properly:

"This afternoon, an extraordinary young man named Roland Shepard made what had to have been an excruciating decision. He said he wasn't playing football under a Confederate flag. Six of his teammates then chose not to let Shepard stand alone. And I choose to join them at this moment. In the history of the South, there's much to celebrate. And that flag is a desecration of all of it. It's a banner of hatred and seperatism. It's a banner of ignorance and violence and a war that pitted brother against brother, and to ask young black men and women, young Jewish men and women, Asians, Native Americans, to ask Americans to walk beneath its shadow is a humiliation of irreducible proportions. And we all know it. Tennessee Western has produced some outstanding alumni in the last hundred years. People of wisdom and vision. Strength and compassion... ...In the meantime, God go with you, Roland Shepard and you six Southern Gentlemen of Tennessee. God's not done with any of you yet." -Isaac Jaffe (Robert Guillaume), Sports Night (1998)

So, there you have it. I don't get it, I probably never did. Maybe I was just too weel-behaved to be a good athlete... or maybe I got where I did by keeping my nose clean-- and I just lacked the God-given ability to continue on to the next level.

But then again, maybe I'm not through yet. You never know what tomorrow brings. I got a lucky break in college with a player leaving a team. Maybe in my work in the future another break awaits me... and then you can say you read the blog of a professional athlete.

I just hope I'm remembered for the good things.

Get Your Kicks on Route 66

2006-12-29T00:46:00.000-06:00

I'm wondering if my brother regifted on me for Christmas, or simply returned the favour. For his birthday, I got him the movie Cars... and for Christmas, he got me the movie Cars... and I think for my dad's brithday, we're going to get him the movie Cars.

Good movie, nice plot... and best of all it inspired aesthetics and an emotional response. Why make mention of getting the movie for my dad? Because the movie is him...

...and to some extent it is me.

You see, when we travel, my dad does not like to take the interstate system. Part of me believes it is some bitterness with the fact that the Interstate Highway System ultimately led to the end of railroad passenger service. But then part of me also gets it-- you know, the movie. I get that the fastest way to travel is not always the best way to travel.

Ironically, I type this sitting no more than 1,000 feet from where a fatal two- (possibly three-) car accident took place last week.

Personally, I think people need to slow down. James Whitmore said it best in The Shawshank Redemption when he said: ...the world went and got itself in a big damn hurry.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these "Keep Kids Alive, Drive 25" fools. In fact, I've got two points to make on that topic. First, keep yourself alive, drive with the flow of traffic-- it's called defensive (or responsive) driving-- and everyone needs to do it. And secondly, if you're worried about the cars driving in front of your house-- tell your kids to play in the backyard.

But I do think that there are some people who are going a million miles an hour, and their passing life by. People who are constantly on the move, flying wherever, talking on the Blackberries, or whatever you call them... and shouldn't be bothered.

You know the type... they're the ones always hassling the agent at the airport gate, demanding an aisle seat, or wanting to upgrade to first class. And when things don't go their way, they curse and swear and whine about why they hate the airlines.

The problem isn't the airlines. The problem is you, you cannot be satisfied in anyway, and you scapegoat anyone or anything you can. Believe me, I'm related to one of these types-- and his ways have torn the family apart (but that's not a rant for here).

This same family member, like the others, is 'hassled' by the police in the form of a constant stream of speeding tickets. Have I mentioned I'm also related to a cop? My brother, the cop, will tell you the same thing he tells me-- there are certain behaviours that individuals can participate in, which are taken by the police as an invitation to harrass and hassle you.

Among these behavioural patterns are: speeding, swirving, honking, running over people, waving the middle finger, waving waepons, flashing your brights, making illegal u-turns, not using your turn signal, running red lights, running stop signs, running into light poles, waving weapons at light poles, and inserting your head into your rectum.

It's not an inconvenience, it's a direct result of your actions. And what these people fail to realize is that missing a meeting is not the end of the world. Missing part of life, is.

My point is, we are so intent of getting things done quickly, and getting where we're going that we often miss out on the experience of it all. And if anybody has ever learned anything from me-- I hope its that experience will teach you everything you will ever need to know. It is through my personal experiences that I am able to respond to situations, and help others as they encounter life.

Out there in the world, there are so many things to experience that we often pass on as a matter of convenience. And I get that sometimes travel is done strictly for business purposes. But what about people who fly to Disney World-- have you never seen National Lampoon's Vacation?

OK, not the best example. But our family vacations, were always road trips, and NEVER by interstate. It didn't matter where we went on vacation: St. Louis, Boston, Vancouver... it was always by car.

And as much as I hated spending time in the car with my parents, there are things we've done, that just make you appreciate the tourture that it was... it's a little steakhouse in Miles City, Montanta... it's a rodeo in Cody, Wyoming... it's driving across the Mackinaw Bridge while my mom turned green from her fear of suspension bridges... it's the 'scenery' of Osoyoos, British Columbia... it's a ferry ride to Victoria... it's going through the historical communities that helped make this country as great as it is.

Even the railraods could give you some of that-- you could at least see some of the roadside attractions, and maybe have enough time to take a picture of it. Back in the days of steam, you might've had time to walk through an entire town-- all four blocks of it. Or you can see the Rocky Mountains from a viewpoint only possible by rail. My parents rave about going to San Fransisco by rail a couple years ago-- and the views in the mountains-- they're not the same view you get from the car... and you don't have to worry about steering your car and keeping it on the road-- more time to take it all in.

From an airplane, that's all non-existent. You miss Wall Drug, you miss the waterfalls in the mountains, you miss the best damn steakhouse you've ever been to (yeah, my mind's back in Miles City, again), and you miss being able to say you've been somewhere.

Though, if you've ever flown into Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C. I will say that view of the monuments is fricken' awesome. But I'm sure some of you are too wrapped up in your work-- or something allegedly more important than life itself-- to stop, take a breath, and look out the window.

Life is out there. Don't let the world pass you by. Experience it. Live it. Just slow down, and take it all in.

The Funny Little Frog in My Throat

2006-12-23T14:27:00.000-06:00

This is a long-overdue post. I've been meaning to post this for several months, and unfortunately anytime I think I have time to post it, I get taken away by some other aspect of life. Certainly not a more important aspect than the topic, but more important than a blog.

For those of you who visit my MySpace page (again, this is not an endorsement of the cults of the internet of MySpace, or Facebook-- rather, just a reference point), you'll notice I enjoy the music of Belle and Sebastian. (Matty used to hound me regualraly over this fact, but even he has come around on their music.) On my MySpace page is the video to 'Funny Little Frog'. It's not a great video-- though I love the song-- it is there as a tribute to five of my close friends. Friends I don't talk to near enough anymore, and friends who I am not sure I have made clear to how much I appreciate them, their friendship, and some of the things they have done for me.

To bring you full circle into the song, the lyrics are really about a guy fantasizing about, and having this 'relationship' a girl who isn't there, but his emotion when he 'talks' to her (really just talking to himself) gets him a little choked up. A little creepy, yes, but I took a slightly different interpretation of it. Because, you see, three of my five close friends I'm tributing don't live up the street from me-- in fact, the one I'm probably the closest to... I've never met in person (...long story, but we do talk on the phone-- so it's not one of these internet 'relationships'). However, when I find myself in times of reflection-- thinking about who I am, what I've done, things like that-- I still hear their voices. Without them, I would be lost.

This is the full tribute to them, and everything they have done for me. Grab a seat-- I'm not going to short-change anyone here. (Oh yes, this is going to get sappy.)

It started with Kali, who used to live here-- and I used to talk to everyday after school. Shortly after we met, she moved and I went off to college. However, her friendship over those next couple of years got me through some of the toughest times of my life.

I was struggling academically, and I wasn't happy with playing time in hockey (being redshirted, and felt I had gotten a raw deal at them end of the semester). There were days where I just didn't want to get out of bed, and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it on my own. Then one day I just happened across her on IM one day, and it was like any worry I had disappeared. Later that year, while I was playing junior hockey I went through a two-week period that would put anyone through an emotional ringer-- changing teams as often as I changed underwear (for the record in an eight-day span I changed teams 13 times between five different teams). My parents were telling me to give it up, and come back home to go to school. Yet, in one phone call to Kali my mind was made up. All she said was "I've never known you to give up. You can do it."

One voice against the weight of the world was all I needed. I stuck it out, and some of you know how it turned out. When I finally settled in to a roster spot, I knew I had one phone call to make. Not to my parents, not to my brother, to Kali-- and I was so choked up, I'm not even sure she heard what I had to say.

Ironically, the next year I faced a similar situation and it was a new friend I had met by accident who carried me through. I had known Jill's dad for a while through a some common interest groups, and I just happened to meet Jill while trying to contact her dad. We hit it off right away. And rightfully, I owe at lot of my friendship with Jill to her dad, Dave-- who passed away a year ago in October. Dave was a great friend, too-- who thought highly enough of me to tell me that he wished I would someday be his son-in-law. You don't forget words like that.

Back to Jill, our friendship could have been a lot simpler than it has been. She is the one I have never met in person. Though, Dave, Jill, and I thought we had it all worked out while I was playing hockey in Cincinnati-- I was only a couple hours away, and Dave had said if I run into trouble, I could call him. Being away from home and knowing you have 'family'-- beyond your billets-- willing to help is a comforting feeling. What we didn't expect was that I would get loaned back to a team in Winnipeg.

While in Winnipeg, I was in a fight for playing time, and there was this shroud of uncertainty around me. The main concern was that I wouldn't stick in Winnipeg because of they wouldn't use a roster spot on a player on a player who could be on his way back to Cincinnati at a moment's notice. Again, it was a friend who kept my head straight-- this time Jill.

Jill was also there for me a couple months later when I made the decision to leave juniors and go back to school. Ever since, Jill has been the friend I talk to when I need to get my mind in order. She likes to challenge my mind, and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm out of line. Seriously, if you don't have a friend like Jill who can psychologically slap some sense back into you-- GET ONE!

What you might notice now, is a trend. When one friend seems to start to fade a little in their presence in my life, another friend is there to pick right up where they left off. It was while Jill was studying in Greece that Beth became the voice of reason in my life.

Let's just say that Beth is the one who, even today, kicks my ass over the stupid things I do. You make one mistake, and she's the type of friend who... doesn't necessarily hang it over your head... but rather keeps you from making the same mistake twice.

Then there is Amanda. Amanda's contribution to who I am, is she is the person who brings out the best in me. There are two aspects with my friendship with Amanda. The first, is that she has taken away some of my fears about being who I am. I took a risk when I met Amanda... three days after I first met her. you see, my first run-in with Amanda was during a TV broadcast of UNO Volleyball. For various reasons, I just couldn't get my mind off of this beautiful girl from South Dakota's team-- her eyes, her smile-- finally a co-worker had enough of me, and called my bluff. Kathy went over and said something to her... and me, being the gutless wonder I am-- hid in fear.

A few days later I found her on Facebook, and took a risk-- would she laugh it off, or would it creep her out. My money was on creepiness. She found it all to be 'totally cute and sweet'. My friendship with Amanda, like with Jill, has reminded me simply to be myself-- you can't go wrong when you be yourself.

The other thing Amanda's friendship has done for me, is remind me of my humble nature. I know at lot of people mistake the pride I have in the things I've done as being a 'pompous asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else'. They couldn't be more wrong. I'm simply a person proud of what he has accomplished, and I really don't make that big of a deal out of it. Sure, if you ask me about it I'll tell you everything you want to know. But you forget, that my pride comes from rebounding from some very rough-- humble-- times. I certainly wouldn't have gotten anywhere without the help of my friends, and it was Amanda that unknowingly reminded me of that.

You see, shortly after I met Amanda, we spent a lot of time on the phone talking about how rough of a time she was having at USD. Basically, she was going through the same things I experienced at ISU-- an unhappy red-shirt who was sturggling academically and was considering a change in majors and possibly even a transfer. All I had to do was think back what I had been through, and speak through experience.

Catie, like Amanda, reminded me of who I am. But Catie provided that missing piece to the puzzle-- and that is to not only remember who you are, but to be proud of it. I used to think I was a misfit-- I knew being unique wasn't bad-- but I never felt like I belonged. Then I met Catie, and found out that we're pretty much two peas in a pod. Political beliefs, frustrations, social ideals-- until Catie and I started talking-- and were they ever the long conversations-- I thought I was just this radical, someone who was off the charts... an oddball.

I'm sure I've given back to each of them in some way, as well-- at least I hope so, or I'm not a very good friend. But, I think it is only fitting at this time of the year, that those who really mean something to you, know how you feel.

Without my entire support staff-- all of my friends-- who knows in what sad shape I would be in today. And so, to not just the five special young ladies mentioned above, but to all of my friends...

THANK YOU... and Happy Holidays

Pressure... Pressure... Gonna Blow Up... Pressure... CLEAR!

2006-12-20T23:46:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't blogged in over a month.
Maybe it's the fact that I haven't played hockey since May.

I'm beginning (and, yes Charley, that's the correct spelling) to think that maybe those two aspects of my life are safety release valves-- ways for me to vent the little frustrations that build up as time goes by.

Of course, it could be a a whole bunch of factors adding up-- people pushing the right buttons-- that finally set me off.

But I totally lost control this week, and I've felt horrible about it.

Those who know me, know for that I can be an abrasive, in-your-face person-- but that deep down, I'm really just a true gentleman who speaks his mind freely, and calls it as it is.

I hope...

...at least I like to think so.

And as often as I show my true emotions, very rarely do I ever totally lose control of them. Normally I'm all about words, I talk, I yell, I get in your face about things-- but it's not very often than I vent my frustrations in a physical manner.

I blew it this week.

Though, before anyone things I'm facing assault charges, I should say I did not hit anyone, nor attempt to. In fact, outside of hockey, I have never been in a physical fight with anyone... ever.

This time, I simply threw a book...

...a very large book...

...a law book...

...twice... well, ok, the first time I slammed it down (and it was really just for fun at that point), but the second throw was in anger... and did I get some distance on it. you'll have to ask Dave exactly how far it went-- but I'd say I managed to launch this 1,000-page book a good 15-20 feet... one-handed.

For those of you who really must know, it was outdated (1999) Iowa State Codes.

Up until the point he picked up the book, I think Dave thought it was just a prop book we keep around for looks on our uplink set in the TV studio. For full details, you might have to ask Dave-- and, no, he was not the target of my angst.

The more I think about it. I do think I handled the situation a lot better than I could have-- considering I waited until the person who set me off left the room before chucking the reading material. I have a feeling that had I confronted this person, it would not have been pretty, and I probably would have lost the respect of that co-worker.

I'm still not feeling great. I really feel the need to go vent on something-- so I may have to start scaning the politcal pages and let loose on a profanity-laced tirade against all things known to the American public.

...and then of course, I'd follow it up with something softer-- just to clean up the karmatic mess I will have created for myself.

So if you see me on the streets this week, please do not be afraid, but tread carefully. Handshakes and hugs are always appreciated, just remember if you want to take me on I'm at the breaking point.

That said, the next couple of days should be good for me. Finals are over. I don't work for a couple days. I have no TV shows to produce (has anyone realized that I actually had hair when I was hired at UNOTV?). I have a couple days to cool off.

...actually, I have some last minute Christmas shopping to finish up on. So if you do see me, or think I might be in the area. Stay home, stay out of my way, and let me get my shopping done quickly.

Err... They're Not Quite Dead, Yet.

2006-11-11T23:40:00.000-06:00

Has anybody seen or heard from Rush Limbaugh lately?

OK, I know he's still spewing his nonsensical hot air on his own radio broadcast, but I don't listen to him-- at least not if I can help it. In fact, the topic of todays post is the last time I was forced to listen to the blimp.

You see, one of the minor drawbacks of not paying for a parking pass on campus (serious, I'm not paying $70 to maybe get a parking spot) and riding the shuttle bus from the mall, is that you're at the will of the bus driver on what god-forsaken Omaha radio station you have the displeasure of listening to. So as it was about six months ago, I was tortured with the moronic wonder that is Rush.

Rush was telling the world... that is, the Republican World... that the Democrats were "a dead party", that this nation (under God) was quickly appraoching one-party status.

You counted your chickens before they hatched, didn't you, fat boy? Go take a look at Congress, buddy. Then roll yourself next door to the Senate. There are a lot of blue chairs over there-- in fact... more blue chairs than red chairs. I guess the funeral plans for the Democratic party were a little premature.

Of course, Rush can always play him drug addiction for the dilusions.

Then again, a Republican friend of mine was recently quoted as saying he's glad the Democrats control the government, because now he can have a turn bitching a moaning.

Oh, really?

Let me clue you in on something. You and your Republican comaraderie have run this country into the ground for the last eight years. We're lucky we're not Enron, right now. You guys screwed up, and the American people finally called you on it. You have no reason to bitch and moan. Take it like a man.

Then again, I'm a little concerned about the Democrats controlling to Legislative Branch. Not really that I think they will do something horribly wrong. More that they will upset a few select people and we'll be back to the Elephants.

It's a part of government that I think the United States has wrong, and the Canadians have right-- and it's an easy fix. The two-party system in America sucks. There are no options. Just like driving on the interstates, I'd like to have options. Don't give me idiots or morons... give me idiots, morons, and maniacs. Right now the Republicans are in their war room, plotting the demise of the Democratic-- only because it means they will regain control when it happens.

You don't have this in Canada. Why not? Because you the Canadian people have options. There are five major politicial parties (or caucuses) in Canada: Conservative, Liberal, Progressive, New Democrat, and Bloc Quebecois-- I was going to say six, but the Canadian Alliance has pretty much died since I lived up north. And of course there are several minor parties, which really don't need exploring at this juncture.

But you get the point, right? Bloc Quebecois-- who were a dying breed in the late 90s and early this century can't wait for the Liberals to screw up-- because the seats in Parliament are likely to be split among the other four parties. What it means for the Canadian Government is that non-partisanship is necessity. You have to be able to work with the other parties, or nothing will get done.

For this very simple reason, I voted for Ralph Nader in the last Presidential Election. Did I think he was going to be a great president? Hell no. But let's face it, living in Nebraska, a vote for Kerry was a wasted vote-- there was no way Bush was going to lose this Republican Wasteland. So, the only hope for me to voice my displeasure with our leaders was to vote for Nader, and hope that he got the 5% of the popular vote which would have qualified the Green Party for national funding, and thus brought a third legitimate option to the table.

Maybe next time I'll just write in Stockwell Day.

Seriously, the only voting process sadder than the current American situation, was the class president elections when I was in high school. I kid you not about this, my senior year, a write-in candidate won the vote.

That candidate was Mickey Mouse.

Get Off Your Flip(pin') Phone

2006-10-25T22:34:00.000-05:00

So I have taken a couple weeks off. I'm sorry. But I must say, I enjoyed my time away from Omaha-- like I always do.

But while I was away, some struck my ire. And now that I have few moments (believe me, life has been non-stop since I got home), I'd love to talk about it.

As part of my trip, I took some time to go to Gettysburg. You know, big battleground, lots of people died during the Civil War... and all for shoes. Seriously, the three-day battle of Gettysburg was fought over shoes-- check the history books.

I'm not sure if many of you have been to Gettysburg, but I'm sure almost all of you have heard of it. And as such, you know that there is a huge national cemetery there.

Now, I'm not the most patriotic person in the world-- in fact many people razz me about being 'Openly Canadian'. But I know, when you get to a battlefield-- especially a cemetery, you show your respects for the men who died. They fought for a cause, there is not question about it. Even those who fight on the side of evil (Confederates, Nazis, Crusaders) they fought for something they believed-- and that deserves respect.

So, I think we can all agree, when you walk into a cemetery-- and pretty much anytime you around history-- you remove your hat, you don't goof off or joke around, and YOU TURN YOUR CELL PHONE OFF!

How disrespectful can you be? OK, the person in the Civil War Museum in Harrisburg-- who missed the sign asking everyone to turn their phones off-- that upset me a little. But the moron walking through the cemetery at Gettysburg-- deserves the fate of everyone who rests in peace, there.

You must think awfully high of yourself to think that you are above courtesy, and that you can never be too far away from your cell phone. Here's a little hint: if you think you are going to need to be on the phone at a given time-- coordinate your schedule around it. If you have a conference call with someone that day, it probably is not the best day for you to go visit museums or similar settings.

You are probably the same people who refuse to turn your phones off on airplanes. I'm not sure if I believe the dangers of having your cell phone on, while on a plane-- but rules are rules, and rules are for everyone.

Sure, it's great to have this technology where, no matter where you go-- with the possible exception of the resort I was at in Pennsylvania-- you can be in contact with friends, family, and work. But it is not a free pass to do as you wish. It just leaves the honus of respect and courtesy in your hands.

It's Not My Problem-- It's Yours

2006-10-08T23:38:00.000-05:00

I don't hide it. I am a very outspoken person. But you have to admit, when it comes to being outspoken about ideas and beliefs-- I'm not even close to the top of the list of people who should really just shut the heck up.

Though, this week it seems like several people have taken it upon themselves to mention that they think I am some kind of a social cancer. So you think I'm annoying, looking for a fight, or just outright offensive? Oh, darn. I really don't care what you think.

You see, I treat others the way I want to be treated-- it's the Christian way, right? And I promote openness. So say what you want about me... I, unlike many others, will just laugh it off.

Seriously, there is not a personal alive who can open their mouth without annyoing or offending someone. We might as well walk around with duct tape over our mouths, so we can't talk.

Well, that won't work, because I can still wrote or type or signal my thoughts. You might as well just eliminate communication all together. It's the only solution.

(Wow, that was a short entry. Perhaps I should find an anecdote, or ramble on about some other topics. Ahh... nevermind, it's Midterms this week... better not burn 'em all up now.)

Once Again, From the State of Confusion

2006-09-28T23:41:00.001-05:00

I'm still waiting for someone to wake me up, and tell me it was only a dream. Really, this is like one of those dreams where nothing makes sense-- can I just hope that this is all a dream... kinda like the storyline of St. Elsewhere?

I know that no matter where you go there are insanely stupid laws, but for some reason Omaha, and the State of Nebraska in general, seem to be saturated with them. Maybe they're attempting to have depth in something, because the genepool sure is shallow... or maybe this is a result of a genepool as deep as the sandbar the natives call the Platte River.

But in the past 2 days I have learned of 3 laws that either make you scratch your head, or that the enforcement of makes you believe that there is not much to do around here.

Did you know... that you can be cited by the Omaha Police Department for chewing gum while walking within citing limits?

Perhaps, we should be amazed that some people are able to walk and chew gum at the same time. But seriously, when did Omaha become a part of Singapore?

Did you know... that when the city-wide smoking ban goes into effect next month, that if you witness anyone smoking in a "smoke-free" area, you are instructed to call 911 to notify the police of the violation.

OK, the locals are just nodding right now about this... but those of you not from here are probably laughing your asses off. Yes, you read that correctly, the violation of the smoking ban is an emergency situation. It is a life-threatening situation... 20 years in the making... and it needs to be addressed immediately.

Now, I had my mountain bike stolen from a village park (in Illinois) when I was in 5th grade. Did I call 911? No. I called the village police department's non-emergency line to report my stolen bike. Suprisingly within an hour, a police officer responded to my house, took down the report-- and they actually found my bike (in perfect condition) a couple of weeks later.

Is it just me, or is stealing a bike a bigger crime than smoking in public? You see where I am going with this? Don't bog down 911 dispatchers with this crap about somebody polluting their lungs in a restarant. Call your mommy and her take care of it instead... or if you really feel the need to get the police involved, call the non-emergency number.

...and when the nice police officer is done eating his doughnut, drinking his coffee, and smoking his cigarette in the five-square-foot box he is allowed to do so in, he will come take the cigarette from this person who has violated the city ordinance, walk outside and finish the smoke himself.

If you're going to make such a big deal about it, why not make it a capital offence? Give 'em the death penalty. No, seriously, if you claim they are killing you with second-hand smoke, that's murder... and murderers get the death penalty-- do you want to go for irony? New method of execution, take 'Old Sparky', place it in the five-square-foot box where smoking is legal, and let every prison guard, police officer, judge, vigilante, or even citizen who needs a C.E.O. (Cancer Enhancement Opportunity) stand around him blowing second-hand smoke in his face. If that doesn't work, take an entire pack of smokes, put them all in his mouth and make him smoke the whole pack at once.

Moving on....

This one is my favourite. Did you know... that if you wish to carry a concealed weapon in the State of Nebraska, you must also carry a licence distinguishing that you can legally carry said weapon out of sight. However, did you also know that if you keep your weapon in plain sight, you need no licence to carry your weapon?

Why is this is a law? Forget the shoulder holsters... forget the t-shirt that reads: "Have Gun, Will Travel"... just wear a gun belt like Marshall Dillon in Dodge. Let everyone know you have a gun, and there is no problem-- in fact, nobody is going to harass you.

If a man with a concealed weapon confronts a man with an AK-47 on his shoulder, who do you think is going to be the quicker draw? The only man who gets the better of the man with the AK-47 is Mongo from Blazing Saddles.

There are some serious issues out there in the world that need to be addressed. I'm not attempting to downplay the serious nature, or even mock the law. I just think we need to slow down and think it through.

Hey, if you can be irrational about this... so can I.

Mr. Ricketts, Your Word Is: Hypocrisy

2006-09-24T01:56:00.000-05:00

(NOTE: Blogger was acting up a little, and this blog may or may not have been deleted, so it is being reposted for your viewing enjoyment. I appologize to those who had commented in its prior life-- feel free to post those thoughts again.)

This is exactly why I hate politics.

I revert to a previous post I made where I defined politics. The word itself is a compound word derived from the Latin word poly --meaning "many", and the English word tick --meaning "bloodsucking parasite".

For those of you who live out side of the State of Nebraska (known to those of you in Iowa, Kansas, and Colorado as the State of Confusion), I would like to draw your attention to the recent Senatorial Debate between incumbent (and more shockingly a Democrat) E. Benjamin Nelson and challenger Pete Ricketts.

The backgorunds of the two candidates are very different. Nelson is a former governor for a small town in Western Nebraska. A farmboy with an interesting hairstyle. Ricketts, is a big businessman, who wants you to think he is a smalltown farmboy-- despite the fact that he and his father are both insanely rich... and bald (not that hair really has anything to do with this... it's just another obvious difference). His wealth is no surprise, because he is in fact a Republican.

And while Ricketts has no announced his stance on guns... I'm sure he's pro-gun because... well, he's a Republican... and from Nebraska (and those are pretty much synonomous).

As Dennis Miller once said: "...Maybe the reason Republicans are so pro-gun is because they need them to constantly shoot themselves in the foot."

Where am I going with this? Hypocrisy and shooting himself in the foot...

During their last debate, Nelson extended an olive brach to Ricketts calling for and end to the mudslinging-- the running of negative campaigns on television. Ricketts, promptly changed the subject.

The very next day, I witnessed a Ricketts campaign ad citing the Omaha World Herald calling for Nelson to end the mudslinging and negative campaigns.

You can not be serious.

Nelson just called you out in a debate, suggesting an end to the negative campaigns... and you run such an ad, citing a newspaper that is blatanty biased in favour of Republicans, blasting Nelson for his mudslinging.

Brilliant. Ignore a face-to-face encounter, ignore the right thing to do, and then attack your opponent for something you, yourself, are doing.

Mr. Ricketts, I've read you bio on your website... and I'm pretty much convinced that not only are you an ass, but I would not be surprised to find out that you are a skinhead.

I'm sorry, but Washington, D.C. is already full of people who have said one thing then done another. We do not need another person running this country who acts and looks like a prick. Sir, there is no room for you at the inn.

Don't Believe the Hype

2006-09-15T00:39:00.000-05:00

I really don't take joy in watching people or ideas flop, but sometimes you just have to sit back and have a laugh. And sometimes, you just have to think, what are people thinking (or smoking) when they set such lofty expectations.

Chicago Cubs fans know exactly what I'm talking about. Chicago Cubs fans, can also laugh at Dave Kingman-- who signed a contract in 1978 that included a bonus if he set the team record for Runs Batted In (RBIs).

The Cubs team record for RBIs, also happens to be the Major League Record: 190 by Hack Wilson in 1930. Kingman topped out at 115 RBI in 1979, though his 131 strikeouts were closer to the MLB record in that category (then 189- Bobby Bonds, 1970)... and probably the team record at that time.

Thanks for playing, Dave.

With that in mind, I have how dumb some of us can be to believe something we've heard, instead of looking for fact.

Why is Michelle Wie participating in PGA events?

I do not intend this as a sexist comment. Far from it. I have no doubt in my mind that women, given proper opportunity-- and within reason-- can be just as good as men in what they do. My argument is: Who is Michelle Wie? What has she done to impress us so much. She is the Anna Kounakova of golf.

Wie is not even competitive against women, and sponsors are giving her exemptions to their events. She's become a sideshow, and that is not fair to the other competitors-- male, female, and transvestite-- that she is getting this free ride without proving she can compete.

Annika Sorenstam had pretty much dominated the LPGA before she was given an opportunity to compete in a PGA event. She earned it. And yet, Wie is placed in PGA events with a resume that includes no LPGA victories. It is a joke for her to be out there and not be competitive.

At least Danica Patrick is a threat to win an IndyCar race... and Sorenstam held her own against the boys.

Allowing Wie to participate in some of these events is no more of joke than if I were pulled off my job as a cameraman for the Omaha Roayls, and immediately get a callup to start in Kansas City that night... though the result probabaly wouldn't change for the Royals.

Even major leaguers like Bob Feller and Dave Winfield-- who spent no time in the minors before making their major league debuts-- had established themselves prior to being thrust into the spotlight.

And this hype is not limited to sports. Anybody remember World War II? Was that not "the war to end all wars"? Then why are we still fighting? Can't we all just get along?

Even weathermen get into the act. Hundred-years storms. Predicting record heat, or record snowfall. Oh, really? Are you sure you're not being paid off to boost sales of weather-related products?

There is no need to hype anything. Things are what they are, and that's all they're ever gonna be. Nothing is that predictable. Let nature take its course, and if it happens to be the best or worst of something-- good for it.

Maybe it is the best thing since sliced bread-- is that the best we can do? Sliced bread? Unsliced bread is good on it's own merits.

OK, maybe it will be all that and a bag of chips-- who comes up with these? If it's all that AND a bag of chips... doesn't that give me more of something I don't need? Hey, that works for hype-- don't need it... wouldn't know what to do with it anyways.

Is reality such a bad place to live?

Playing By The Rules

2006-09-14T00:07:00.000-05:00

This evening, Brian Williams and the NBC Nightly News released information that the U.S. military leaders in Afghanistan passed on an opportunity to attack the leaders of the Taliban who had all congregated in a funeral-type service last week.

For once, I applaud an action we have taken (or not taken in this instance). To those of you who think we should have taken the opportunity to strike, I ask: have you no respect for the dead?

OK, I understand some of you will point out that a suicide bomber took out several people at a similar gathering on the good-side of the fight. But just because they did it does not make it right for us to follow suit-- and believe me, I am all for 'and eye for an eye'... I even go beyond that and believe in 'The Chicago Way': he shoots you in the foot, you shoot him in the leg... he puts one of your men in the infirmary, you put one of his in the morgue. But you don't mess with people paying their respects for the dead.

Don't believe me? Take a quick look back to the American Civil War. Following the Union victory at Gettysburg, the Rebels were on the run-- but the Union leaders passed on the pursuit, to bury the casualties of the battle. They did the proper thing, and in the end the Gods of War smiled upon them with final victory.

By not attacking this memorial gathering, we have done the right thing. Call it a 'Conscientious Objection'. Just because you are present with the opportunity does not mean you have to take it.

And if you don't like my reasoning... then let's just say its more fun for us to hunt them down, instead of attacking when they're all just standing around-- I really don't know why else we'd pass on it.

However, we must understand that like in Vietnam, the rules of engagement, the rules of war, and the guidelines of the Geneva Convention are not in play with our opponents-- that is, they're not playing by them. And now, we have to decide how we are going to play this out.

Remember, the Brits lost the American Revolution by playing by the rules-- you know, marching in straight lines, not breaking ranks-- while our untrained militiamen picked them off one by one guerilla-style. How soon we forget.

So the first question to be answered is: Are we in a war?

I'm not talking about declaring war on abstracts. No more declring war on terrorism-- that fight is going about as well as our 'war' on drugs. If we are going to be at war, we need to define a specific target, get Congressional approval for said war, and go to town on our sworn enemies.

Right now the American public has no idea what the heck we are doing in the Middle East. We declared war on terrorism, we overthrew a government in Iraq, we've redecorated the typography landscape of several nations, and we've declared "Mission Accomplished".

Did the President not understand that 12-letter word on the banner behind him? "Mission Accomplished" means we have succeeded in our task at hand, and we can move on. But we haven't moved on. We are still fighting in the same spaces, against the same people. Something is amiss in the 'strategery'.

So, let us declare war on a specific target. Declare war against the Taliban. Declare war against Al-Queda. Declare war against Osama bin Laden... better yet, don't declare against him-- declaring against one person is not a good idea, because it gives him way too much attention, and will pretty much turn him into a martyr. Stick with groups.

Then, we must understand that beginning back in the Vietnam Conflict, the rules of war changed-- the goalposts moved. Sticking with traditional military techniques is not going to work against people who refuse to acknowledge the same set of rules. There was no coin flip, nobody to penalize sides for infractions... well, maybe The Hague, but I don't think they are getting involved in this one. I think the Gods of War are waiting for us to accept the change, make the tradition to the new way of fighting, and when we do-- and we go all in on this war, we will be rewarded with victory.

We need to live by former-President Bush's words, even if he didn't: "This [shall] not be another Vietnam. [This] time we are going all the way." No more policing. No more pussyfooting. We need to strike, and strike with confidence, authority, and the full power of the U.S. Military. No more half-hearting it.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

5 Years Later...

2006-09-11T00:38:00.000-05:00

...and we're still scared shitless.

It has been 5 years since the events of that fateful day in the country, and I'm sure we all remember where we were when it happened. For me, I was in my car, listening to it all happen live on radio. I had just been loaned from a junior hockey team in Cincinnati to a team in Winnipeg. I was actually being sent home by Cincinnati to spend time with my family-- as the coaches knew I had spent most of my summer on the road, bouncing from team to team-- though they jumped at the idea to keep me on the ice, thus the loan to Winnipeg.

Little did we know that the world would be turned upside down. I was supposed to catch a friend for lunch in Indianapolis-- we cancelled that, though I was able to catch another friend in Champaign, Illinois before continuing on to my aunt's house in Peoria... where I stayed for the next three days.

I just remember filling up my car in Cincy, and thinking-- oh, this is just a joke... it's a "War of the Worlds" radio gag. By the time I had gotten back into my car, they had hit the Pentagon... and it hit me: GAME OVER. Of course, the early details of that plane hitting the Pentagon we sketchy-- the plane had gone down "behind" the Pentagon... Well, HOW FAR BEHIND? Did it like bounce over? Is it in a cornfield? (OK, that was the brief moment I was thinking of Langley, not the Pentagon) Is it in the Potomac?

A little bit of panic set in-- especially not being able to see what was transpiring. (And I want to complain about that-- I miss ALL the great TV events: I wasn't born for Lee Harvey Oswald getting shot, I was in school for the Branch Dividians, I wasn't around a TV until well after Columbine had settled down, and then I missed the awe of the towers collapsing.) Should I head back to my billet's house-- except, I no longer have a key, so if Brian is gone, I've got no choice but to leave. Do I try to go all the way back to Omaha? Do I just stay with my friend in Indy (at that point we hadn't cancelled lunch)?

Well, I just drove. And prayed. Well, I called my dad at work to tell him where I was and what my plans were, then I prayed. And I prayed that the didn't mobilize the militray-- thus closing the interstates-- until I got to Indy, because I could find my way to friends and family in Illinois from Indy.

For me, most of the rest of the day was uneventful-- I enjoyed my lunch with my friend, and I was happy to arrive safely in Peoria.

Back to present times, I find it all good to look back and think about where I was when this all went down, but I think we spend a little too much time thinking about the events of that day. Yes, it was a tragic day-- a day we will never forget. But we must move on.

Now, I wasn't alive when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. And I'm sure the thoughts following that attack were of the great conflict at hand. But I'm willing to bet, that in 1946 people in Honolulu were keeping an eye to the sky looking for more planes. But they never forgot that day, either. After all, it is a date that will live in infamy.

I am in no way saying that we should attempt to forget what happened. But we certainly can not run around, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because when you panic and fear what might happen-- the terrorists win. That's all they are out to do: SCARE THE FUCK OUT OF US.

I, for one, refuse to be scared. I may, however, be a little more carfeul about things and situations.

You see, we as Americans, made the same mistake in 2001 that we made in 1941: we got complacent. We didn't expect it to happen, and we didn't pay attention to the warning signs. Think about it. 2001 was eleven or twelve years after the end of the Cold War. We had defeated the Red Menace, and didn't have to fear the appocalypse by radiation. We're feeling good-- some issues in Kosovo, some issues in Iraq, some issues in Korea... but nothing major...

...and then, BOOM.

They hit when you least expect it. So please, for the love of God-- move on, but never forget. There is no need for wall-to-wall coverage of the stories, the memorials, the movies (movies? What the fuck? At least they waited a couple decades before Tora! Tora! Tora! was released), the tributes. Seriously, we're not forgetting. We know what happened. And we don't need exposes into who suffered the most out of all the people in America. All of us suffered. And for a few brief moments we all came together as a nation.

Why not build on that togetherness? Live for today. Sure, why not, carpe diem. Livestrong. Live for your nation and your brothers within. Move forward, but remember-- don't sulk.

And of course, God Bless America.

Someone Please...

2006-09-07T23:45:00.000-05:00

...go to Memorial Stadium at some point this year, and yell 'FIRE'.

I just want to see the chaos it would cause among the thousands of scarlet-clad morons who make weekly treks to Lincoln, like it's fucking Mecca.

For those of you who live in the world of reality-- or at least live where the average college student does not run up $18,000 in debt (when a semester only costs $3,000), there was a nice article in the Omaha Daily Fishwrap discussion the complaints about the new addition to Lincoln's Memorial Stadium.

While none of these complaints are a total shock to this non-native Nebraskan, I do have to ask of Husker fans: are you really that dumb? OK, that's rhetorical (as in, you don't have to answer). But if your complaining because the U just installed a brand new videoboard, and you can't see it because you sit under it-- that's just too fucking bad. Besides, who the hell goes to a sporting event to see a video scoreboard? If you want to see replays-- stay home, watch the game on the idiot box... that is, if you can twist the rabbit ears in the right direction. (Idiot Box... hmmm... I like that, I think we can use that to describe Memorial Stadium on Saturdays.)

Those complaining about not being able to see the videoboard, also claim the auxillary scoreboards are two small, and two far away to read. Boo fucking hoo. May I suggest a visit to the optometrist (that's an eye doctor-- sorry, Husker fans need translation into 'everyday words'... err... I mean words of less than three syllables). If you're really into the game, you should know the score... and you can tell what down it is, and how far they have to go by locating the bright orange sticks on the sideline. Who cares how much time is left-- you play until the game is over-- and that will be signaled by the gentlemen in the black and white-striped shirts.

But the complaint I love best of all, is the complaint about the cramped nature, and lack of flow through the crowd at the Idiot Box. You see they've shoehorned 80,000 people into this art-deco (I know, again with the words the Cornfuckers don't know) monstrosity made from plaster, chain link fence and an erector set. You're damned lucky the place hasn't collapsed yet.

I'm willing to bet your beloved deathtrap would not pass the inspection of the Fire Marshall, or the Americans With disAbilities Act requirements if it were built in the modern day (understanding that the place is like 60 years old, and predates many of the codes). Then again, have you ever seen the Fire Marshall's office? Here's a hint, last I knew it was about a block and half away from the Ice Box on the State Fairgrounds and looked like a termite convention. Needless to say the Fire Marshall should condemn his own office.

But none of this should shock you. Take a look around at the venues of the area. Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha seats 30,000... has one main entrance (though three exits, if they choose to open them)... and very narrow concourses. The aforementioned Ice Box in Lincoln... one main entrance, and a couple exits that are like walking out your own front door... and don't even look for a walking aisle inside the arena-- they don't exist. And let's not forget the crown jewel of the state-- Qwest Center Omaha... Capacity: 17,400 (for basketball... and rising)... plenty of room in the concourse... unless you're entering or leaving the building through the two gates. It is just a bottleneck, and I just wait for someone to get trampled during an event.

Knowing this, it should be no shock to any of you, that the oldest of the venues has only 3 gates (down from 4, when the capacity of the stadium was 17,000). The fans are packed thighter than drunken college sardines. The sightlines are terrible, which might explain why you can't see the giant fucking scoreboard. It's a giant disaster waiting to happen.

Not that I really care what happens to those electing to congregate at a college football game like women visiting Charlie Sheen's bed. Perhaps a disaster will teach you all something about civic planning and codes. Then again, I'm sure we'd never hear the end of the Husker Game Tragedy (the one, god forbid, worse than a player transferring)... and all the 'martyrs' who died there.

Really... enjoy your deathtrap, folks.

As Close As I Get To A Monologue

2006-09-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

(If you behave properly, I promise a real blog entry later... if you behave improperly, I may have to blog 2 or 3 more times.)

Just a few things on my mind right now...

So apparently we've found an untapped oil source off the coast of Louisiana... SHOCKHORROR! You mean to tell me there is oil outside of Alaska and the Middle East? Texas, too... but we all know that's just for a rainy day.

My condolences go out to the family and friends of Steve Irwin... I truly enjoyed his show, and his message. Truly sad news-- that, and the fact that I had him dying of a snakebite, at age 53, in Africa.
On a serious note, Steve was truly an eccentric person, and this world could use a few more people like him.

By no means am I a fan... but I really have to question what the hell the Kansas City Royals are doing. OK, so I work for the AAA affiliate, and they were out of the playoff chase-- but it's still no excuse to leave the team with 10 (and eventually) 9 position players on their roster. It's pretty sad when former major league pitcher Pat Mahomes is in the stands, and has to be called in to be the DH for a game in New Orleans. Shit, why not ask him to play shortstop while you're at it-- might as well have fun. And I understand that AA-Wichita is gearing up for the playoffs, but surely there were one or two guys worth of 4 games in AAA (and then returning to AA for the playoffs)... or maybe someone is playing really well in high A-ball who is worthy of at least an emergency call up. Though, I did talk to the Omaha Gm and offered to play the outfield (of which the O-Royals had 2), if they needed me.

In other baseball related news-- that 'thud' you hear is the Cubs smacking the pavement in the basement of the Central Division. By this time next week, they should be so far back in the standings you'll find them listed among the NL West teams.

And finally, the CIA will be crawling all over me for the next couple years. UNO-TV worked a satellite uplink for the Al-Jazeera network this idea. My idea fo set decoration did not go over well-- I suggested that we put guest Tom Gouttiere in front of a blank wall, with an American Flag displayed behind him, and an out of focus shot.

But never fear, I was in the control room, out of arms reach of Gouttiere.

I'll be back with more later.

I Am What I Am

2006-08-31T00:46:00.000-05:00

I've been called a lot of things in my 25+ years on this planet.

I've been called: Chris, Christopher, Christoph, Christo-Andre, Boehm (and it's many possible pronunciations), Reeses, Bodo, Crash, Nebraska, Boheems, Sam, stripes, zebra, blind, dumbshit, asshole, fucker, shithead, moron, idiot, rookie, cocksucker, motherfucker, (someone keeps calling me a homo on this blog), train wreck, dipshit, fraud, brother, son, boy, sir, cousin, friend, and many more...

I've been told I am: nice, mean, smart, dumb, generous, abrasive, down to earth, conceited, creepy, , oblivious, charming, cute, attractive, annoying, condescending, immature, responsible, irresponsible, independent, interdependent, gay, sad, normal, freaky, polite, inconsiderate, loyal, deceitful, contemporary, modern, old-fashioned, a throwback, intelligent, sophomoric, thoughtful, thoughtless, stereotypical, unique, the list goes on...

Is this what they mean by complex personality? Apparently, I have my moments. And some of you have me all wrong.

Nonetheless, it's immaterial. It doesn't bother me-- or more accurately, it doesn't effect me. Because no matter what anyone says about me, only I know who I am.

I am what I am, and that's all I'm going to be:

I am the boy next door.
I am a college student.
I am proud of what I have achieved.
I am proud of what I have earned.
I am proud of where I've been.
I am proud to be an American.
I am not a native of Nebraska.
I was born near Chicago.
I live in Omaha.
I am from Winnipeg.
I have played junior hockey.
I have redshirted a college season.
I have been on a Division-1 college hockey roster.
I am unscored upon in my D-1 career.
I am the walrus (coo coo kachoo).
I still live with my parents.
I still don't know where I will be this time next year.
I am shy.
I am proud.
I am humble.
I am woman, hear me roar-- No, that's not right.
I have a brain.
I have a heart.
I have feelings.
I have pain.
I have my rights-- and if you don't like it, you have the right to remain silent.
I have lived in Canada.
I am not a lumberjack.
I did not live in an igloo.
I did not drive a dogsled.
I did not eat blubber.
I pronouce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing.
I believe in diversity, not assimilation.
I believe the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
I do not know Jimmy, or Gord, or Suzy from Canada, but am sure they are very nice.
I am Canadian.
I am German.
I am Swedish.
I am Scotch.
I am Welsh.
I am British.
I am Irish.
I am Northern Irish-- so, I'll have to blow up your car.
I have been a hockey player.
I have been a soccer player.
I have been a baseball player.
I have been a cameraman.
I have been a chef.
I have been a butcher.
I have been a baker-- but never a candlestick maker.
I believe in God.
I do not believe in Aetheism.
I believe in equality.
I believe in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I believe communism is a utopian concept.
I believe greed will always keep us from true communism, and thus true equality.
I am rambling on and on... and on... and on... and on.
I am tired.
I am going to bed.
I am Sam.

Sam I am.

More To The Story

2006-08-23T22:47:00.000-05:00

OK, I so blasted the local media in my last rant. Maybe I should have sent my blog to them, just so they know people are watching-- or that they have much room or improvement.

Why do I mention this?

Because the entire state has shut down this week to find out where Arizona State Quitter.. er, I mean Quarterback Sam Keller is transferring to. Apparently just the thought of him coming to the Nebraska State Pennitentiary (know to the locals as the University of Nebraska-Lincoln) was enough for a state holiday and 30-minute newscasts to be entirely dedicated to him.

I think there was a question over whether he would qualify for enrollment at UNL, but low and behold I'm sure they found a criminal record on him-- probably for MIP or an indictment for rape or something-- but they found something and he's in.

I really don't know the ramifications of this move, nor do I care... but it gets better.

KMTV (now known as KM3, or Action 3 News-- how 80s of them) broke into their 10 PM newscast with the following breaking news: You are seeing live coverage of the result of a police chase...

(wait for it)

... in Middlesex, New Jersey.

Who the fuck cares? The guy is stopped... and even if he wasn't, there is no way in hell his tank of gas lasts long enough for him to make it to Omaha. And I find it very unlikely that this person in New Jersey is going to be showing up on my doorstep. Was he planning on blowing up a building? Did the chase start in Des Moines? What exactly is the reason you're breaking into coverage for this 15 second video from a helicopter showing us a stopped car and an arrest.

Long story: short, the implications of this "breaking news" for those of in Omaha is nil. Though, I'm sure the local media will find the "Omaha Connection"-- they seem to enjoy tying everything in the world to Omaha-- things like he once thought about visiting his ex-girlfriend's mother's uncle's brother-in-law's second cousin twice removed who once bumped into Andy Roddick at a mall in Warwick, Rhode Island... the significance being that Roddick was born in Omaha (and within like 5 minutes of his birth his family moved to Florida).

Honestly, local interest, people. Not random acts, and vague connections. Solid, news.

Is anyone else understanding why I'm happy to get out of this place?

O! What a Disaster

2006-08-19T23:26:00.000-05:00

OK, I've made it no secret that I don't like Omaha. And just about everybody knows that as soon as I graduate, I'm getting the hell out of Dodge... if I ever get out of the construction that is West Dodge Road. I've been here just over 11 years now (off and on-- my parents have been here for all of them, though I had a couple years of an espace to reality mixed in), and I still don't feel like I belong. I mean, I think it's pretty sad that I'd rather be back in a culturaly-diverse neighbourhood of Cincinnati-- during their annual race riots, than live in this glorified cornfield.

Even professionally, as a journalist, Omaha is a black hole. It will be a cold day in hell before I work for an Omaha media entity. It's sad. Everything the people in the State of Nebraska do, talks Omaha up as this major metropolis. If you buy into that, you'll be thoroughly disappointed. I'd rather go work in Glendive, Montana (the smallest of Nielsen's 210 markets) and work my way up, then be handed a job in Omaha (75th largest).

People here talk about how great downtown Omaha his, with it's skyscrapers, and state-of-the-art architecture. It's two fucking twigs-- the Woodmen Tower, and the First National Bank building-- maybe three, if you have the right view (though the Mutual of Omaha building is only like 12 stories, and on a hill).

The talk of the town has been the gem of Omaha-- the "Daub-acle"-- Qwest Center Omaha, a shiny arena/convention center with a capacity for basket ball of 17,400 (and rising-- they're expanding just 3 years after opening in a hope to draw NCAA tournament assignments). I'll admit, QCO is an impressive arena-- but it's more than this city needs, and it's run by a group of mental midgets (just like most of the rest of the town).

You see, the City of Omaha has NEVER invested in civic planning-- they just fly by the seats of their pants, and fall victim to "monkey see, monkey do". See: Wells Fargo Arena - Sprint Center - Qwest Center Omaha for more details.

But the way the arena is run says a lot about the city. They aim for college-level events. Fuck that. Seriously, you want to be a big city, you got to pull in some BIG events-- NCAA Championships will not cut it. Then again, this is a college sports town in a college sports state. Never gonna grow up with that attitude.

Which brings me back to the media-- which should really be referred to as the mediums. The media in this town is a joke. Sure a couple of people from the local media have hit the big time (Johnny Carson, and Floyd Kalber), but I can't remember any recent graduates of the Omaha market-- with the exception of Michael Scott (you might not recognize him when he's not going balistic after having an iguana jump on him).

You see, it's an Omaha tradition to half-heart things, then let them die as an afterthought. The University of Nebraska at Omaha , the Omaha Ak-Sar-Ben Knights of the American Hockey League, the Omaha Royals of the Pacific Coast League, Eppley Airfield, and the Durham Western Heritage Museum are all great examples of how well Omaha is at keeping interest in this town. Great ideas come here to die-- and they do so in record time. Add television careers to that list.

I got a good laugh when a documentary producer, who graduated for Westside High School, here in Omaha said he could remember when anchorman John Knicely worked at Channel 7 like 20 years ago. Wow, in 20 years all Knicely could manage was a move from Channel 7 to Channel 6? Not really moving up in the world are we?

I know why he hasn't gotten very far. He sucks as an anchor. People who have worked with Knicely have said he's great at reading a promptor, but when he has to adlib, he can't do it. They're right-- if you watch Channel 6 with Knicely, if he has to go off teleprompter, he's totally screwed-- he has no personality.

Even the content of the news is laughable. The sports crews from the local media will "cover" Omaha Royals games. And by "cover" I mean, they show up at Rosenblatt, eat the media foodspread, wait for the first Omaha run of the game (or the 5th inning-- whichever comes first), then leave.

What the fuck? Now, I understand you have a deadline to make-- so I'll excuse the Fox affiliate from this (who, by the way, are usually the last to leave)-- but you can't show me the leadoff homerun in the first, then tell me the Royals would add 6 more runs (it does happen from time to time) and won 7-6. No, you better be there to tell the story of the game. Be there when the bullpen blows the game. Be there when Kansas City prospect Justin Huber hits a walk off homer in the bottom of the 9th. Be there when the benches empty following a series of beanballs. And for fuck's sakes, just because the team is on the road doesn't mean we don't care what they do. Send someone with the team for highlights-- the newspaper should send someone to tell us the story of the game, instead of relying on wire reports-- or talk to you affiliates in the market of the game for the highlights. Do something instead of just reading a score.

I have no interest in working in a market with such low standards. Even the new media market in Peoria, Illinois does a better job than the blowhards in Omaha. Maybe I'll go to Glendive to see how they do the news.

Hey You, Get Out of My Lane

2006-08-11T15:07:00.000-05:00

Here it is, here it comes... Here comes George's 19th nervous breakdown.

To some of you this will make sense, as some of you see the very things I talk about everyday. To others (namely the dilusional persons who live in Nebraska an really believe it is "the Good Life", and fear changing the status quo), you're in for some enlightenment. I have a 5-point plan that will hell bring gas prices down in American, and it goes far beyond my rant from earlier this week-- which none of you have bothered to read.

So without any further ado, I give you the solution to the largest domestic issue we face (because God knows the government doesn't give a fuck about us).

1. Expanded Rural Interstates
By rural I mean, in between urban centers-- for example, Interstate 80 between Omaha and Des Moines, Des Moines and the Quad Cities, and the Quad Cities and Chicago. Within the urban centers, it is not uncommon to see 4, 5, or even 6 lanes of traffic in each direction. However, as you wind your way through the cornfields, you're limited to two lanes in each direction. Basically, you're forced to choose between morons (driving 50 MPH), and idiots (driving 60). Well, when the speed limit is 70 (and many including myself choose to drive closer to 80), 50-60 MPH is not an attractive option-- not to mention taking the car out of cruise ruins any decent gas milage you might be getting.
So, why not give us three options: morons, idiots, and maniacs. What I mean is, you get a car going 50 MPH, with a car going 60 MPH closing in-- to pass the slower car, he must move to the left lane, but both cars are below the posted speed limit, creating a dangerous situation, even is both vehicles are above the posted minimum speed (usually 45). A third lane of traffic eliminates the congestion and "conga-line" effect that "Sam Safety" (who happens to think he's is speed enforcement) has on traffic. 60 MPH can overtake 50 MPH, and not disrupt the flow of the traffic of those who choose to drive the speed limit, or faster.

2. Stricter Traffic Enforcement
Like I said, I, like many of you, frequently violate traffic laws-- usually by speeding. There are two ways you can go about traffic enforcement: crack down on the speed limits, or enforce left-lane courtesy.
Let's start with the latter. It's simple, if you're not overtaking another vehicle-- GET THE HELL OUT OF THE LEFT LANE! You shouldn't need an invitation, or posted sign, to remind you that slower traffic keeps to the right. Passing on the right is reserved for racing (I know a lot of you yokels watch NASCAR). I think if a cop spots are car in the left lane who has plenty of room to move back into the right lane, he should write a ticket. It doesn't matter if he's tying up the left lane or not, if you don't have a reason to be in the left lane, you can't be there.
The other option is to change and enforce the speed limit. I find it to be dangerous to have a speed limit of 70 with a minimum speed of 45. Too big of a difference. You ready for this? Speed limit: 70, Minimum: 70. If you want to drive on the Interstates, drive the limit. Think about this, if everybody drives 70 MPH on the same road, there is no need to pass, as cars will not be driving up on other cars. A constant (and safe) distance is maintained between all vehicles, merging traffic would not force others to slow-- rather, simply to shift lanes-- and insurance costs would go down because unless a deer wanders on the road or some other phenomenon happens, there is not reason to use your brakes.

3. Tollways
OK, those of you in Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and most points east know what I'm talking about. The rest of you (except for Kansas) think I'm nuts for suggesting this, but I have a basis for this.
Last month, the State of Confusion (known better to the locals as Nebraska) was forced to pass a gas tax increase, without a vote by the legislature. The reason? The gas tax supplies the budget for road construction, and with a shortfall of funds for expected construction costs, the gas tax is AUTOMATICALLY raised-- there is no debate, no option... it just happens. I say "bite my ass".
Here's what you do: you make I-80 a toll road. The money you raise through tolling can pay for the road construction (and maybe even some of it can be given to the state patrol to pay for more troopers), and you can reduce the cost of petro a couple cents per gallon.
It's certainly not unheard of-- and the idea is improving, where it's not even really a drag on the flow of traffic. Illinois is intergrating "Open Road Tolling" for those who are billed monthly for the use of the many tollways in the state, and Kansas and Massachusettes hand you a ticket as you enter the tollway, and you pay as you leave. Perhaps the states can get together in some for of reciprocity, where your I-PASS (Illinois' billing circuit) is accepted on the Indiana Toll Road. It's not like it's hard to track where you've been through this system... they already know.
Tolling creates revenue for a service rendered. You always have the option of not taking a tollway, by using side streets or state highways. And the politicians can avoid raising taxes on you, yet again.

4. Eliminate Ethanol
People in Nebraska and Iowa are going to hate me for this. You know the types-- Is that an ear of corn in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Seriously, you wouldn't drink gasoloine, would you? Then why would you put corn in your car?
Ehtanol is the Ambien or Viagra of the automotive world. It is an alleged "superdrug" that solves your problems-- except we forget to tell you the side effects.
Fact: Ethanol has a lower boiling point that gasoline, which makes your car more suceptable to vapour lock.
Fact: Ethanol, when burning off actually leaves an oily residue in your engine, making your car work harder, and actually creating more air polution as your car now burns through two different types of oils. (Basically you could fry a chicken inside your engine-- how clean is that?)
Fact: Ethanol can not be produced in the same refineries as gasoline. This means that refineries must be closed and converted to refining Ethanol, which slows production, and means less production of gasoline, which drives the price of fuel higher.
But the government doen't want you to know that, because they want to give the impression that they are attempting to correct the problem, when the reality of the situation is that they're just fucking us over again.

5. Expand Railroad Services
OK, so I've become the champion of all things railroad. I won't deny it, I'm a raidroad brat-- my dad has worked for the railroads for 33 years, and if you've been in his living room you know he owns just about everybook on railroading in the United States from The Little Engine That Could to When the Railroad Leaves Town. But if you want to talk seriously discuss alternative forms of transportation and their effect on the enviornment and infrastructure of the country, you have to involve the railroads. **Especially with the uncertainty that has become the airlines.**
There are two parts to this equation: passenger service, and freight service. Both of them would lessen the clutter that continues to grow on the Interstate System.
It is no accident that I referred to what happens when railroads leave town (aside for not being able to think of a second popular book). Small towns in the 1980s were decimated when the railroads left town-- most became ghost towns-- and it was no fault of the railroads. Who was to blame? The govenment-- specifically the Interstate Commerce Commission (ICC). It was the restrictions placed on the railroads by the ICC that has forced the railroads into cost-cutting measures, and out of these small towns (many of which were built on the strength of the railroads).
The ICC mandates that no train which intersects with a road can travel faster than 79 MPH. Well, shit... you can go that fast on pavement. Which means there is no benefit to use the railroads for freight, or passenger service. This plays to the hands of the oil companies and the airlines-- it takes more trucks (and more gasoline power) to move the load of a train, and if you want it there fast, you have it flown. And of course, the government would LOVE to drop the financial "burden" of the national passenger railroad service (Amtrak) for it's books (meaning more cars for the oil companies, and more passengers for the airlines). When, instead, they should be turning it into a revenue producer.
So here's what needs to happen. The ICC needs to go fuck themselves. Keep you hands off the railroads, and if they can safely operate at higher speeds, let them. Invest in Operation Lifesaver to keep morons from driving around crossing gates, and allow the trains to run to their full efficiency. If the goverment would give subsidies to the railroads like they do to the airlines, the railraods can expand services and continue to help the economy grow.
Rescind the "slow orders" placed on trains on lines with grade corssings, and let the railroads return to their days of glory-- which also happened to be the glory days of this nation.
Then, you come up with a creative solution for Amtrak. Right now, the government (through Amtrak) invests in the Northeast Cooridor, and neglects the rest of the nation-- no suprise, it's an east-coast bias thing. Instead, state governments are beginning to pick up the bill to keep Amtrak running. The State of Wisconsin actually pays to keep regular passenger service between Chicago and Milwaukee. So, the idea is growing, and it has taken another huge step. In doing so, the states are looking at the New York to Washington, D.C. "Northeast Cooridor", as well as Europe and Japan. The answer: high-speed rail.
Now, I understand, you have to eliminate grade crossings for high-speed service, which they have done in the Northeast Cooridor, but recently the State of Illinois recently agreed to invest in high-speed rail service between Chicago and St. Louis. It won't be easy, but I have a notion how it could work. Here's a hint: think Downtown Chicago.
If you drive on I-90 or I-290 or I-294, or any interstate within Chicago, you'll notice that the famed "Elevated Trains" (The L) run in the medians of the interstates , and then on elevated tracks within the city itself. So why not repeat this idea on rural parts of the interstates?
If you run the high-speed trains in the medians of the interstates, there will be no grade crossings, because there are no intersecting streets. Same concept as an interstate, just used for another purpose. Sure there will be a huge expense to build the right of way, and expand bridges... but if you can get trains to run 150-225 MPH inbetween cities, more people will be apt to use the railroad system in a way similar to the airlines.

There you have it. My energy-saving plan. I wanna know what you think, America. The phone lines are open.

Cost-cutting Will Cost

2006-08-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

Cost-cutting will cost you in the long run.
Cost-cutting will cost us in the interim.

In an astronomical clusterfuck, BP-Amoco has let cost-cutting burn them, as their stingecy on anti-corrosion additives to their Alaska pipeline has led to the breakdown of the pipeline, an oil spill, and now even higher prices at the pump.

So, while we wait for PETA and other environmentalist to take the oil industry out by the woodshed, I'd like to get back on my soapbox and rally some support for ideas with which we can grap our torches and pitchforks and chop up whatever the tree-huggers leave behind.

The Government
It is time for the government to get off their asses and take some action. George, fuck your buddies, if you want the Republicans to retain control of the Hill, you better do something-- because I have a feeling I can take this soapbox, use the platform of my energy plan, run as a Democrat in Nebraska (even though I'm an Independant) and still find myself in D.C. after November.

First of all, STOP PISSING OFF THE WORLD. When you fuck with the Arabs, they fuck with us by jacking up the price of crude. Right now they've got us by the balls, and suffice it to say their grip is tight enough to make testicle wine if they choose. Perhaps if we were nicer to them-- oh I don't know, not interjecting in matters that aren't ours-- they'd be a little more willing to work with us. Don't pick fights with Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, or any of their allies. It might be tough, but it also means we need to stay out of the conflict between Israel and Lebannon-- getting invovled will only make more people mad. Israel will understand, they've taken the fight into their own hands.

Second, the government needs to invest subsidies more wisely. Why is the government putting $2.6-billion into businesses who are averaging over $5-billion in profits? There is absolutely no reason to be pumping money into a corporation that doesn't need it. I don't care if they are your friends, George-- you tactics, like you are nothing more than a crock of shit.
And then there are the airlines. George and his cronies have pumped over $3-billion into the national airlines. I agree with this to some extent. The airlines have taken a major hit since 2001, they need the money... but why are the railroads going without? Railroads (specifically commuter-passenger services) are an very attractive option as alternate transportation, except that Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, and Bush II have left them for dead. The airlines get $3-billion... and our primary destination carrier, which happens to be government-owned and operated has a working budget of $100-million. You can see the problem. Instead of looking for solutions, we are just throwing money at the problem, hoping the ship will right itself. In the words of Bush I: "Not gonna do it."

The Oil Companies
This is what blows my mind. BP took cost-cutting measures in Alaska, which led to the recent problems with the pipelines. So, you'd think the oil companies are hurting, right? But I just said they're averaging over $5-billion in profits (BP's actual figure was $5.59-billion)-- so, where is the money going? Why are we not seeing a return on our investments?
I wouldn't mind paying $3 per gallon at the pumps if the producers were struggling to stay afloat. But that simply is not the case. ConocoPhillips reports that they make a $0.10 per GALLON profit. Considering the mass quantities in which they sell petro to us, dropping the profit per gallon wouldn't kill them. And think about it... the first company to drop gas prices, is going to see a run on their business, and would see the highest profits of the group. Seriously, first one to blink wins.

But here is where they are bitch-slapping us. They claim they have to raise prices to keep up with the prices overseas. Not so. At least a quarter of their off-shore drilling units are currently out of service. FIX THEM. You can find more product for us, and lessen our need for foreign oil. Also, a third of the oil refineries in the United States are out of commission (not to mention another quarter are committed to producing Ethanol). FIX THEM. You have $5-billion you don't know what to do with... invest in your own operations. Spend the moeny to fix the infrastructure, which will in turn allow you to produce more product, and bring in more revenue. It's that simple.

We need to let the government and the oil barons know that we are fed up, and that we won't stand for cost-cutting measures among companies turning record profits. We also need to make it known that the ineptness of our government is known and needs to be corrected. Domestic issues before foreign-- how can we solve the world's problems when we can't even solve our own?

So, We Meet Again...

2006-07-20T00:38:00.000-05:00

As stubborn as I once was about all this cyber-stuff, I guess it's really not all that bad. Obviously I was slow to join the blogging ranks-- and my blog is not near as popular as say, AJ's (though if it weren't for his anti-Husker rants, and the mutants it attracts, he's blog would be a ghost town... kinds like this one). It took me a while to hop into Facebook-- though, there is not a day that goes by that I'm not at least checking in there. And now I'm finally giving in to the peer pressure and updating my MySpace page... when I once believed MySpace was as evil as the Huskers, George Steinbrenner, rap music, and energy drinks combined.

Then again, I also once vowed to never patronize a Starbucks... and that has recently gone out the window.

But to their credit, Facebook and MySpace have opened up a window to the past for me. They have given me an opportunity to reconnect with friends whom I left behind (for whatever reason) more than 10 years ago. And it's not like I was upset with them, it was just that in the journey through life we lost touch.

For me, this is the greatest thing since sliced bread... well, ok... maybe not... this is better than sliced bread, so it's like the greatest thing since unsliced bread... or dirt... or something really really old that was the dawn of a new generation. OK, I'm getting carried away... MySpace is not THAT great, but happening across old friends, people who know me, who understand me, and who don't think I'm a pompous asshole ranks up there somewhere.

You sometimes forget, that despite being nothing more than a benchwarmer in college, when you're an athlete there are evil people who are your friend because of who you are, not who you are (think about that for a moment). I know these friends are true friends, friends I have NEVER had to question my friendship with.

Now, the only question is-- have they found their way here? Either way, just to talk to them again is like making everyday Christmas, and I can't describe how excited I am to catch up with them: I have so much to talk about with them, and I'm sure there is so much they'd like to tell me.

(Haven't I already done a blog on this?)

Have You No Decency?

2006-07-09T23:53:00.000-05:00

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not this high-strung, self-centered prick. In fact, when it comes to me, I like to think I'm fairly laid-back (I'm not as laid back as some, but more each day I get closer).

But fuck with my friends, and it is on.

Last week, Specialist Jeremy Jones of Omaha died in Iraq. I wouldn't call Jeremy a close friend, but he is a hockey teammate from my high school days. This weekend, Jeremy was laid to rest here in Omaha, and some asshole bible-beaters protested his funeral.

Have you no respect for the dead? What give you the right to protest the funeral of a soldier? What possible reason could you have to disrupt the final respects of friends and family?

There is no excuse. The worse part is, they weren't even protesting our participation in the conflict of the Middle East. The protesters claim that God hates America because we support homosexuals.

Are you shitting me? First of all, I would make the arguement that the President is doing everything he can to eliminate homosexuality in this country. He tried to ban same-sex marriages, where the hell have you been?

Fuck you. In fact, men step to the right, women to the left-- the men will be serviced by Harvey Fierstein and the cast of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, and the women will be paid a visit by Ellen DeGeneres and Melissa Etheridge. They're queer, they're here... GET USED TO IT.

If you can't deal with freedom, and the right for people to choose their own life partners... LEAVE. In fact, why don't you go to Iraq and North Korea with the rest of the people who hate America-- you're obviously not happy here, so your best option is to find a place where your moronic beliefs are accepted. That place is not here.

The two concepts are not related in any way. If you truly believe our soldiers are being smited by God, then your God is not worth living for. I do not care to worship a being of any kind who kills other people. Besides, the vengeful God is the Old Testiment (Hebrew) God. Christians believe in the New Testiment and a Loving God.

You expect us to take you seriously when you can't even get your core beliefs right? Pull your heads out of your asses, take a look at the world around you, and accept it for what it is. You're so goddamn hung up on trying to get into heaven that you have failed to realize that we are already there. Heaven isn't a place on Earth... Earth is a part of heaven.

Jeremy Jones has been granted an eternity in heaven. Someplace else awaits those who refuse to let him rest in peace. Your problem is not with Jeremy or any other soldier or citizen of this world, it is with yourself.

R.I.P. J.J.

Why Do You Hate America?

2006-07-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

If this place is so bad, then... go back thee from wence thou came. (OK, just setting the tone for this entry strightaway.)

I don't expect everybody to understand where I am coming from to make the following comments. And I know the people who should really take note haven't found this blog... yet. But I know I have a right to speak mymind on this, and so, as you know I love to do-- I speak from experience.

Let Mortal Tongues Awake... I have stayed silent on this topic for way too long, and I think it is only fitting that I speak now. Today, is the second day of July... the day after Canada Day, and two days before Independence Day in the United States (though, it is very possible that by the time I finish, it will be the day before). The significance of noting what day it is, is that I celebrate both holidays. And it should be noted that I am an America, and do not have dual citizenship with Canada. However, I have been a Canadian resident, with all the bells and whistles that come with legal documentation.

I wonder if our Latino "guest workers" understood that.

Oh Canada, Our Home and Native Land... Home. A novel concept. But where is your home? I have called many cities home, including Chicago, Omaha, Ames, Syracuse, Cincinnati, and Winnipeg. And yet, despite currently residing in Omaha, I still consider Winnipeg my home. For two years, there was no question-- that was where I lived. I felt I belonged there. I was welcomed as a guest into the homes of people who barely knew me, and they became family to me. I felt more welcomed in Winnipeg than I ever have in Omaha. And I could never turn my back on people-- on a country-- that opened their arms to welcome me.

Who More Than Self Their Country Loved... National Pride. This is a time to celebrate where you live. Now, why would we love where we live? Freedom. Opportunity. Two things which thrive in both the United States and Canada. Are the two countries identical? No. But they are two of-- if not the two-- least restrictive countries on the planet. Six years ago I was given the opportunity to further my career in hockey. That opportunity took me to Canada, where I lost none of the freedoms I enjoy at home. Where else is that possible? It's not possible anywhere else in the world. What a great situation.

Other Nations May Deem Their Flags The Best And Cheer Them With Fervid Elation, But The Flag Of The North And South And West Is The Flag Of Flags, The Flag Of Freedom's Nation... Yet, our guest workers have an even better situation. They come to this land of opportunity, and gain freedoms they don't have in their native lands. It's the reason most of them are here. But so many of them make it about themselves. They don't understand the gift they are getting-- they're more interested in a better life, and more money-- and then show no respect for their home... this nation. They drive around in cars labled with "Viva Mexico", cheer against the Americans when they play their native lands (OK, that's debatable, but in a sense of pride for both homelands... just hope for an excellent match and be proud no matter who wins), and only wrap themselves in the Stars and Stripes when it is to their benefit. "Ask not what your country can do for you... ask what you can do for your country."

This Land Was Made For You And Me... By no means am I saying that guest workers are not welcomed here. Far from it. Please, move here, join us. That is what this land is about. Since the very beginning, this great nation has become a place where diverse cultures have come together as one, united under a common cry for freedom. But also do not forget that despite the lack of an official language, there is custom. My great-grandfather was a German immigrant, and while he spoke nothing but German in his home, when he went to work-- when he was out in the world-- it was English that he spoke. It wasn't just him. It was the accepted culture of many gernations before him. It's not to much to ask... you could get a lot worse in other countries. In Holland, you must take an oath to uphold the Dutch culture, including language. In Mexico, they've just been outright shooting illegal immigrants when they find them. Be thankful for what you have here, and respect it.

God Keep Our Land, Glorious and Free... Oh Canada, We Stand On Guard For Thee.

While The Storm Clouds Gather Far Across The Sea, Let Us Swear Allegiance To A Land That's Free, Let Us All Be Grateful For A Land So Fair, As We Raise Our Voices In A Solemn Prayer... God Bless America.

Mariotti, You Fucking Fag

2006-06-24T01:34:00.000-05:00

Ozzie Guillen was right. Jay Mariotti is a fucking moron. And so anybody else who is calling for Bruce Arena's termination as head coach of the U.S. National Soccer Team. Obviously you people don't understand the situation.

Yeah, so the U.S. was eliminated in the First Round of the World Cup. At least we were there-- we are still among the top 32 teams in the world. Did we expect better-- yes, we had very high hopes after 2002... but how smart were you for that? Let me put it this way, times change, teams change, the world changes, and on any given day any team can win. As was the case in Group E-- the Group of Death.

Let's look at this a bit more intelligently. The U.S. was divied up with perrenial power Italy who are always a threat to win the tournament, the #2 ranked team in the world (Czech Republic), and the highest ranked team from Africa. That is a tough draw. If you want it in other sports concepts, it's like having the 2005 Chicago White Sox playing against the 1927 Yankees, the 1934 Gas House Gang (Cardinals), and the 1919 Black Sox... or like having to choose between Vlatislav Tretiak, Ken Dryden, Tony Esposito, and Martin Brodeur (you didn't honestly think I'd go without a hockey reference, did you?). Anybody from the group could be the one.

Did we play our best soccer? No. But considering where the U.S. National Team was 16 years ago (when a bunch of college kids were lucky to qualify and were eventually manhandled by Italy, Czechoslovakia, and Austria--look familiar?) we are making serious progress. And we still took a couple of step forwards in this World Cup. We earned our first point in a World Cup in Europe. Sounds mundane, but if the team hasn't done it before, it goes down as progress.

And in earning that point, we saw the greatness that was Bruce Arena as a coach. The U.S. faced a monstrous challege, playing short two men (while the Italians were short one man). Arena could have made one last substitution, but he didn't. Don't, for a minute, think he should have made that change. Let's look at this in a team perspective. Those 9 gentlemen who ended the game on the field give everything they had, the came together as a unit, and gave us every reason to be proud of them-- shit, they damn near won the game and made a World Cup first. Making that final change might have disrupted that, and Arena knew it. He knew what he was doing.

As we look forward to 2010 and South Africa, I have no doubt that Bruce Arena is the right man to lead our National Team. If we fail to qualify, then you can come looking for his head.

Back to Mariotti, there is a reason you work for a third-rate news paper (hell, even the suburban Daily Herald is more repsected than the Sun-Times). It's because you are a no-talent, know-nothing bag of hot air. For him to call out the manager of the defending World Champions (Guillen), and then go on ESPN calling for Arena's head-- when it was blatantly obvious he doesn't understand soccer at all-- is astounding.

Mr. Mariotti, what makes you think you are any sort of an authority on anything, with the possible exception of being an idiot? Shut the fuck up. You, Stephen A. Smith, Travis Justice, and Simon Cowell need to get the fuck off my television set, and disappear from society. You're Done.

You can't expect the American people to fully understand soccer when fucknuts like you only car about squeakball and football. Make an attempt to round out your mind, not just your body. You make me ashamed to be a journalist.

The Horror... The Horror

2006-06-17T00:40:00.000-05:00

So the Army has decided to change their uniforms. And my first thought is... this would not have been possible before the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell..." policy took effect. Wouldn't commenting on the fashion of the military pretty much out them?

Honestly, who gives a fuck? As long as they're not goose-stepping with metal pikes on top of their heads, I don't see how what the military wears is any concern of any person in this nation-- Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine, Coast Guard, or civilian.

But if you really want a debate about this-- and I'm sure some of you do-- I'd be willing to shoot down any ideas you might have about this, if only so I can extend my blog into it's traditonal 14,000-word, have to get up to go the bathroom four times while reading, somebody make it end, how long can this guy go on about nothing length.

Veterans are pissed because it means an the end of the tradtional drab green they've come to know and love. I actually read one veteran refer to the "pinks and greens"-- he is so outed, now.

Traditional? Let's think about this for a moment. The actual traditional colour for the Army of the United States of America is blue. It was the colour General Washington chose during the American Revolution-- the start of American Armed Forces History-- to differentiate from the tea-taxing, dental hygiene-hating, lime-sucking Redcoats. When we speak of the American Civil War we don't talk about the Olive Drab Green and the Whatever We Found In Our Closet-- it was the Blue and the Grey.

So if you're going to make that arguement, you must be prepared to answer questions about how the veterans of those wars felt when we switched to green. And quite honestly, you don't know-- all you care about is yourself and the trauma you suffered in Vietnam or the Persian Gulf. Don't forget, veterans in other wars suffered the same, they just didn't have a hyphenated, eight-syllable term for it.

And if you really want to continue to wear green, fine-- wear your camouflage. You still have your brush cammies-- which are green-- to go along with your sand cammies (brown) and your seldom-used ice cammies-- which, by the way, are blue and white. And you can always jump into your green tanks or jeeps and drive away.

So in all seriousness, can anybody come up with a decent reason why any of us should care that the army is doing away with green?

When Will It End?

2006-06-11T22:38:00.000-05:00

This is just a little troublesome for me, being a college student looking at a career in broadcasting, but is there anyone else out there who refuses to believe anything someone says on television while being interviewed?

This goes far beyond Ann Coulter and her stonethrowing, I'm talking more on a local level.

You know what I'm talking about... little Johnny from down the street walks into McDonalds and pumps 12 people full of lead, and his best friend's parents are on the news talking about how little Johnny "was a perfect child, and would never do anything like that."

Yeah, ok. And you didn't bust his ass for smoking weed 4 years ago, either.

Or when Bobby (probably from the same street) gets popped while walking the streets at 3 am. There are his parents on television talking about how he was the nicest boy, and he had no enemies. "Who could do such a thing?"

Wrong. Bobby probably had many enemies, and excluding exgirlfriends and guys whose girlfriends Bobby knocked up-- I'm willing to be he stumbled across someone's royal pissing ground on his 3 am stroll... and he probably knew he was.

And of course, who can ignore the hear-wrenching stories of warwidows and the parents of servicemen killed in combat. I'm geting tired of hearing how the recently deceased enlisted because he loved his country.

Bullshit. Not everyone is that patriotic. Seriously. Some enlist to get away from the streets where Johnny and Bobby met their fates. Others joined because it was the only way they were gonne be able to get an education.

Yes, some join to defend this nation-- wait, let me say that into my cell phone so the President hears this-- join to DEFEND this nation, a source of great pride among many people. But everytime someone dies, you have the parents on television with the tradional canned "he loved his country" speech.

You're in denial. Stop lying to us, and tell us what you really think. You get about a week where this country will let you say anything you want and chalk it up to grief-- spill you guts. Shit, even Ms. Coulter will let you slide in that first week.

Stop with the act. The credability of this nation is already ar an all time low-- we can't trust the President, we can't trust our commerical executives, can't trust the newspapers, and now we can't believe what the television tells us.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a world where you can't believe a television.

The Philosophy of Sam, Part V

2006-05-30T16:20:00.000-05:00

This one come with some help from a very wise, pin-striped man who was telling a great anecdote during a road trip to Massachusettes. I forget the details, but the moral of the story was: Do you want justice? Or do you want revenge?

I say you can have both. Just remember this for your next drunken night out:

When getting into a bar fight, get them to question your sexuality, then get them to swing at you. Now it's a hate crime.

...As always, I'm here to help.

Hazed and Confused

2006-05-25T11:19:00.001-05:00

OK, class. Take your seats. I am your prof for the day, Dr. Sam. Now, take out a pencil, and prepare for a pop quiz.

Question #1: The men's lacrosse team is throwing a party. How many of them are going to rape the stripper?

Question #2: The women's soccer team is conducting their hazing ritual. Where can you expect to see the pictures?

Question #3: In the last year, how many college sports teams have held parties where any number of laws have been broken?

Question #4: How many of those teams have been caught?

Question #5: How many of those stories made headlines in the media?

OK, pencils down.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm pissed. I just don't know what about. Am I mad because athletes and celebrities seem to have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card more often than the rest of us? Am I upset that college students can be some fucking stupid as to hold these rituals? Am I totally pissed that there are other incidents that go totally unnoticed? Am I furious that these bad apples are giving others a bad reputation?

Can I be outraged for all the aforementioned reasons?

This is fucking ludicrous. Duke lacrosse, Northwestern soccer, Vermont hockey, Plattsmouth HS football-- it's not just one group, it's an epidemic. And it really needs to end.

Apparently if you play lacrosse at Duke, and rape a stripper (and violate your terms of probation at the same time), the women's team will show full support for you and support your innocence.

Wake the fuck up, ladies. If it was one of you being raped, you'd be singing a different tune. Hookers have feelings, too.

And the lacrosse team is not the first team to have an entire season wiped out for lude behaviour. Look no further than the Vermont hockey team's "Elephant Walk" hazing ritual of a couple seasons ago. They lost their entire season, too.

"But they lost their chance for a national championship!" Boo fucking Hoo. They forfeited their right to play. Even is the hooker is crying wolf, how many other laws were broken? Underage drinking is a crime, too-- and still a violation of the probation laid out for the "upright citizens" who have prior convictions. As far as I'm concerned, they can sit in jail for a while... and see what kind of hazing rituals the inmates have for them.

The bigger farce is that some of these teams get no punishment, or a slap on the wrist. Northwestern's team (and, I don't believe it's over for them yet) thus far has only had to offer a public apology. Wow. Last year, a few members of the Bowling Green State men's hockey team were suspended for 4 games for a hazing incident. And on a local level, a football player in Plattsmouth, Nebraska was found innocent of sexual assault on a teammate, after sticking a finger up the kid's ass. Why? Because the victim was still wearing his underwear, and as such there "could have been no penetration through his underwear."

It's a crock of shit.

I want to know how many other teams have gotten off the hook, or why I haven't heard of these other incidents I have found through research: Catholic University Women's Lacrosse, Quinnipiac University Men's Baseball, Wake Forest Women's Volleyball, Fordham University Softball, University of Michigan Men's Lacrosse. The list goes on. And they think it is acceptable behaviour.

It's not like it is hard to avoid unacceptable behaviour. I kept my nose clean through four years of high school, a year at Iowa State, two years of junior hockey, and a half-season at Nebraska-Omaha.

It's not hard. It's called motivation. I knew, if I got out of line, any chance I ever had of playing or earning a scholarship would be gone. Even the accusation could be enough, so I made it my goal to not put myself in such a situation. I'm still convinced that my token appearance on UNO's hockey roster was a reward from above for working my ass off, never giving up, and conducting myself in a professional manner no matter what the situation was.

And yet, I think I'm even more pissed off because of the effect college stupidity has taken on my best friend. Four players of a college volleyball team get MIP'd at a party thrown by the football team. Two of the players were thrown off the team, one transfered, and the last quit rather than face the consequesnces. Could have been a great opportunity for my friend (who was not in attendance at the party) to solidify her spot on the roster... except that one of those players who was thrown off the team has been given her spot back. How fair is that? And she didn't have to go through the punishment, like the rest of the team.

If I were my friend, I'd be pissed, too. And I'd probably consider quitting like she is. I don't blame her. That is not justice.

But the bigger issue, is the problem itself. It needs to end. There is no reason for hazing, and team-bonding at underage drinking parties. People forget that participating in athletics is a privalage-- you are not born with the right to participate. Stop taking it for granted.

Maybe athletics (professional and collegiate) should be like the presidency-- a felony forfeits your eligibility. Think about it. Kids want to look up to these athletes... and maybe they could, if they weren't morons.

Always and Forever

2006-05-21T22:55:00.000-05:00

For my new sister-in-law, this is congratulations. For my brother, this is something else.

I do want to congratulate my brother on his marriage to his beautiful bride, Melanie, yesterday. However, I can't help but feel that I've been kicked around the past couple of days.

You know, I understand yesterday, last night, and pretty much the past few weeks have been there time. And rightfully so. But there were a couple things that have gone on that when you think about it are down right insulting. And none of it make sense.

Like, 5 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids? Guess who was the 5th groomsman-- me. Which really set off the symmetry of the wedding party, and made for some interesting moments at the wedding and reception.

I don't get why there was a extra groomsman. I'm certainly not complaining... I was honoured to be a part of the wedding party, but I can't help but think that someone, somewhere, made a threat to ensure I was a groomsman, and not just an usher.

It was bad enough that I had to walk down the aisle by myself at the church. But I really felt like a fifth-wheel at the reception when the wedding party got to dance. There I am stadning around, looking for anyone to dance-- or the DJ to play Eric Carmen's "All By Myself"... or maybe Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself". After a quickly aborted idea of having me dance with the Best Man's 2-year-old daughter, my cousin Danielle came to my rescue... but even that was a little awkward.

I am also the only groomsman or usher who has not received a gift from the couple for being in their wedding.

And for the most part, I could care less-- I reamined silent, I didn't complain, I just laughed it all off. Or atleast I did until the conversation I had with my brother 2 hours ago.

You see, my brother called me from somewhere in Missouri (he's driving through on his honeymoon) to bitch me out about a dent to his car. He wanted to know who was "dancing on top of his car" Friday night-- when the Best Man, the Best Man's friend, and I saran-wrapped his 1995 Ford Explorer.

You see, there was no dancing, but someone had to be on top of the car to get the roll over the top of the car. I was the lightest of the options.

But then it hit me. Why did he ask if I was the only person on top of the car? I know why. This is one of those, big brother - little brother "you broke my G.I. Joe, and I'm still pissed" things. Had it been Eric or Matt on top of the car-- it would have been: "OK, fine." No, this was me, fucking up something of his. I just became a matter of me being able to do no right, and giving him an option of throwing is weight around-- because we all know that now that he's married, his ass is owned by his wife (though many of us would argue that he was owned 4 years ago when they started dating).

My brother is such a whiny little bitch. It's always gotta be about him. (I think he's a little pissed that I was getting along too well with his other groomsmen-- 3 of whom I had not met until Friday, and the other who used to torture me when he was in high school.) It's OK bro, it's a 10-year old car, and if it really means that much to you, I'll find 3 or 4 guys and we'll punch the roof back out that half-inch when you get back from your honeymoon... if you're wife doesn't kill you first for the insurance money.

But the best part was the response from my parents. To start, upon seeing the shrink-wrap job on the car, the three of us received a standing ovation from my parents and their friends. But when I told them my brother was crying about the dent, they just chalked it up to him being stressed. They just laughed.

I mean, it took his 48 hours to find the damn dent, he didn't notice it when he was driving... so who gives a fuck? (His claim is that the resale value of his car would be nothing now.) It's a 10-year-old SUV that a cop drives when off duty. THERE WAS NO RESALE VALUE TO BEGIN WITH!

If he really want to get into this with me, I'll remind him of the transmission he blew in my, then 20-year-old (1983 Ford) LTD, when he decided he wanted to see how fast the "Grandpamobile" would go before breaking up. Your badge is not a permit to be reckless with a car, asshole.

Just remember, you were so unhappy to have to drive the 1980 Datsun 210 when you got your license in 1995-- so unhappy you totalled it three weeks later. That, of course, was an accident, he was looking to seeif he needed to shift gears when he hit the rear of a 1995 Ford Explorer... how ironic. I didn't bitch about my car. The alternative was to walk.

You may be on your honeymoon now... but for me, the ceremony is over... and so is your honeymoon. I'm not going to let you shaft me like this. I'll have more respect for you when it comes time for me to take the vows. And then you'll really feel like an asshole.

"People Suck Sometimes"

2006-05-13T00:23:00.000-05:00

(Thank you to my ex- Crystal for the quote. And despite the fact I have not spoken to her in 4 years... Happy Birthday.)

But, she's right. People just suck sometimes.

Case in point: I (with some help, of course-- after all, credit shall be given where credit is due) have started two projects over the past 8 months. Unfortunately in both projects, I have been shit upon by a certain group of people. (**I do not intent to stereotype everyone involved, nor do I intend to call out others... but I really just need to ventmy frustrations, and they should know how upset I am about this.**)

The first project is a fundraiser (Mavs United), that I started with the help of 20 other people. Well, it was supposed to be 20 people... actually 22.

This season we got together on a message board and pledge one dollar for every power play goal that the [University of Nebraska at Omaha] Mavericks scored this season. There were a couple of options if people wanted to pledge more, but it's not worth the detail at this time. The Mavericks scored 37 power play goals this year. So if you figure 20 people are paying $37 each, simple math would tell you that I should have evxpected to collect $740 to donate to our charity for the year (the Children's Hospital of New Orleans).

WRONG.

For whatever reason, the total amount collected was $540... and of that, I was in for $80... as was 'Tarzan' (you remember him from some earlier bashings of me) and his family. There's $160, right there. So we got $380 from other sources (I know Matty is one, but I don't know how much he donated-- but again, not a big deal what he donated-- he donated, he paid... and I thank him for his participation).

Shameful.

The other very major project that I undertook this year was the production of a television series. Mike Kemp, the head coach of the Mavericks, broadcast a radio show every Tuesday night from a local bar. Mark, Chaz, and I then undertook the task of taking a raw video feed from that live radio broadcast, and replay the show in its entirety on tape-delay, Thursday nights.

We dropped in the highlights from the previous week's games and turned out a nice little show. It was nothing special, but it was something-- and a great experience for my first producership.

What I haven't told you is that we produced this show without a budget. Any cost for the show-- tapes, meals, etc.-- all came out of personal pockets... mine. We also did not get paid for our work on the show. We were strictly volunteers.

In an attempt to generate some form of a budget for next year, we are attempting to sell the show's archive on DVD. Chaz and I have posted comments on the aforementioned message board to sample the interest there would be in purchasing the show.

Some have taken it upon themselves to attmept to find a bargain-basement deal for the reproduction of the season. It has since become a fight over how much the season will cost.

WE DON'T KNOW. If we knew, we would tell you. I have given every piece of information I have at my disposal.

The response I got was as follows: "We need to know what you are going to be selling us -- and what it is going to cost -- before we can make a "hypothetical" commitment."

Hypothecically, you COULD kiss my ass. We were not asking for hypothetical commitments. We were asking for moderate interest.

Twice in two weeks I have been shit on by the same group of people. And over what? Charity.

WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE?

You know, I understand there are some people in that community who don't like me. They simply don't know me. They have drawn conclusions from a few select postings I've made, when the reality is that I am not the complete asshole others like to make me out to be.

Ask 'Tarzan'.

I've had my differences with 'Tarzan', but we've since burried the hatchet, and put it behind us.

The problem is that someof these people don't know me. But if they'd ask around, or talked to me, they might find out who I am. Yes, I'm an abrassive person. I don't deny it. But I am also a very passionate, and very generous man.

Generous. Yes, I started a fundraising foundation. I'm the old-fashioned type of guy who still opens and holds the door for the ladies (Joel, insert a joke about being a D-1 door-opener, here). And I understand that one bad thing I've done can overshadow a thousand good things. But that one thing, is something I did... don't carry your dirty laundry over to charity cases. You are making others suffer for something you're pissed at me over.

(**In the interest of full disclosure, many people are still pissed at me for speaking my mind about some injustices and other wrongs that existed with the community. Deal with it, I said it, I backed it up with fact, and if you can't handle the truth your issues are with your soul, NOT WITH ME. Don't question my character, question my methods. You're mad at me for voicing my concern in a public manner, when the rest of you would have bottled it up and repressed it. I believe in the turth, and as such I will always show my true colours, and show those colours means wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I will not hide anything, and I will give you the respect of letting you know what I truely believe.**)

But it absolutely makes me sick to my stomach to come up over $200 short in a fundrasier. It's is fucking gutless for anyone to promise to donate, then rescind on that promise. There is only one indeniable excuse-- health. If you have an unexpected medical bill (or you die), we wouldn't hold you to your donation-- you've got something much more important to deal with (and that extends to some other aspects of life). At least show some respect-- tell us why you backed out.

I know of one person who backed out. That's it. ONE. And he cited a personal indifference I had with someone else. I understand, he didn't wish to support an idea if he doesn't believe in the founder. I wish he would have reconsidered, I think a personal indifference is not a valid excuse to back out of a caritable donation, but at least he had the respect to confront me with it. (I do believe he made a donation to another charity, using the same formula we used at Mavs United.)

So, I was still fuming over that disrespectfulness when the DVD thing fired up. It really is nothing more than the hipocritcal nature of these people. All year long they bitch and moan about the lack of television coverage they get on the local netowrk affiliates. So, we came out with this show on public television. And while not everyone is able to watch the show, we knew many were happy we were able to air the show.

Now, they could care less. They would rather fight with me over how much it is going to cost.

Think about this: It will cost money for us to produce the DVDs. It has cost us money to produce the show, and I'm not even going to recollect the money I pumped into the show. Again, your purchase of the DVDs will go directly into a fund, which will become a working budget for the show.

Unfortunately, the Mike Kemp Show will not be found in the 99-cent bin next to every John Tesh album ever released. But I also don't think it's going to run at the History Channel's rate for $19.99 for an hour-long show.

Look at it this way: If I quote a price, guessing high, I'm likely to scare off some potnetial consumers who think it will be too expensive. But if I quote a price that is too low, get more of you to commit, then have it cost more, you'll all bitch that we deceived you to get more people to buy. It's lose-lose, either way.

And if you're going to hassle me over the difference of $20-$30 in price, consider this...

Not only did I have to pay many expenses out of my pocket, I also put in over 500 hours of volunteer time on this show. I got paid for a grand total of NONE of it. Even at the over-generous government pay rate of $6 an hour (what I get paid for my other work at UNO-TV), that is $3,000 out of my pocket before we even start.

You didn't think about that, did you?

I think some of you need to go take a look in the mirror and think about if you have treated others (directly, or indirectly) the way you would like to be treated. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel?

Kinda makes you sick, doesn't it?

Don't Shoot, Mr. Postman

2006-05-07T03:07:00.000-05:00

Finals are mercifully over, so hopefully I'll have more opportunities to blog. Love it, hate it, be indiffrent-- you can not control me!

But while I have your attention, I just thought I'd share with you a few open letters I would like to write.

Letter #1
To: The Striking Minor League Baseball Umpires

STAY ON STRIKE. (OK, I'm slow-- they are already back from their strike... but they should go back out on strike.) You guys just got your asses shown up by your replacements.

A couple of incidents come to mind for which the replacement umpires (whose names were not released) need to be commended. But the first and, by far, the biggest is the Delmon Young bat-throwing incident.

For those who don't follow baseball, Delmon Young is an uberprosect (read: overhyped sack of shit) in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays farm system. While playing for the AAA Durham Bulls (yes, just like the movie) Young was ejected for arguing a called thrid strike.

As our hero exited stage-left he flipped his bat end over end, striking the umpire in the chest. The umpire made no reaction, and needs to be commended for keeping his cool under the circumstances.

Had the actual MiLB umpires been working that game (and this is pure speculation-- cuz I hope I'm wrong about this... yet we'll never know) I'm sure the situation would have escalated. Anybody remember the Robbie Alomar spitting incident? Yeah-- I'm sure the umpire would have said something to Young. As it was, the replacement restrained and needs to be commended for it.

Letter #2
To: The Exectutive as Exxon/Mobil

FUCK YOU. There is absolutely no reason for you assholes to report mutil-BILLION dollar profits while charing us $3-4 for a gallon of gas. When you report that much of a profit, it mean that you are not doing enough to help your consumers.

OK, so some self-absorbed morons among us (I'm talking about anybody who drives a Hummer or any other vehicle that gets 24 gallons to the mile) who have pushed demand up and shown you that we will pay those outrageous prices for petro. Some of us pay those prices out of necessity.

But your RECORD PROFITS mean that you have gained that much money over what your expenses are. What it means is that there is a lot of room for you to be cutting prices, or finding other was to be putting that money back into the consumers. Perhaps you should consider fixing your refineries that have sat broken and idle for a decade. But to start, you can lower the prices. Think about this-- you lower prices, you're going to get more customers, which will keep that profit number in the same range that it is.

Do something to help us. Until then, you're just a bunch of pathetic, arrogant assholes-- and I hope the IRS audits your sorry asses for every dollar you have embezzled from the American public.

Letter #3
To: The Chicago Cubs

You have got to be the biggest assholes in the world-- behind only the oil executives, George W. Bush, Saddam Hussein, and well... OK a lot of other people... but still your very existence is insulting.

Tonight, the San Diego Padres honoured the Negro Leagues by wearing 1945 Pacific Coast League Padres uniforms. The significance being that it was the uniforms worn when the Padres signed their first Negro player.

In attendance for the game were several big names from the Negro Leagues, incuding Buck O'Neill and Jackie Robinson's daughters.

Instead of joining in the celebration, the Cubs took the field in their traditional road greys.

WHAT THE FUCK?

One of the oldest teams in the majors, with over 100 years of history, a huge budget, and the second largest fan base in the majors can't come up with throwbacks to join in on the celebration? Fuck's Sakes-- does the name Ernie Banks mean anything to your franchise? He was THE LAST player to join the Major Leagues from the Negro Leagues.

Come up with something-- don't look like the retards everyone knows you to be.

The Cubs are a disgrace. (For more reasons than just this... but I'm not going there... not now.)

So Nice I'm Rude

2006-04-26T15:38:00.000-05:00

So apparently I'm just an asshole. Plain out, no question, I'm an asshole. Either that, or the International Federation of We Hate Sam decided in their weekly meeting that this was the week for everyone to be mean to me.

In the case of the latter-- I KNEW IT! You thought I wasn't on to you, but I knew that you all get together and find new and amazing ways to make my life a living hell.

OK, I'm kidding. I would have to think very highly of myself to actually believe that people get together to discuss my life. I'm sure it's just a website, right?

Of course not. Nobody is out to get me-- well, maybe somebody is, but it's all trivial. However, the events of the past week have been so assinine they've become comical to me, and I just thought I'd share my thoughts with everyone else. I hope everyone else can laugh this off as I have.

Now to start, I don't deny that from time to time I can come across as a contemptuous and pompous asshole. No disrespect intended, I just don't try to soften the blow of the truth. I'm rather blunt when it comes to the truth, because there is simply no way around the truth-- there is it, take it.

Than again, there are some of you who only know me through this blog-- so I would understand if you thought I was this jackass who just hates the world. Well, I don't hate the world. But this blog is a place for me to express my opinions and vent my frustrations. Let's face it, if I wasn't talking about things that upset me-- nobody would ever read this.

How much fan can a blog be with the insightful: "I love the sky. I love how how it is blue, it is such a calming colour. Not like the colour orange. I don't like the colour orange. I really don't see a use for such a colour. But I digress, because the sun is out, the sky is blue, and that makes me happy. Oh, so very happy."

Yeah. How many of you just puked during that shameless display of sappiness?

So obviously something is bothering me today. Something that normally shouldn't, except that it was said by a friend of mine. Apparently some people are left uncomfotable by my friendly nature. I met this friend through work, and she has since moved on in life, moving back home, and doing something else with her life. But her boyfriend remains here, and I still work with him.

This year I am working just about every home game for the Omaha Royals. (AJ, I'm sorry, but I have to do something this summer for make at least some money.) And so I see this friend's boyfriend everyday at the ballpark. So as I walk through the Administrative Offices to clock in, I pass his desk, and on my way by I say hello to him.

The message I got from my friend today was: "Leave my boyfriend alone."

OK. You're offended by me saying hello to him?

Apparently, yes. Because the boyfriend has not been formally introduced to me, it is somehow wrong of me to use his name in my greeting. He apparently is not comfortable with me walking by and saying hello. I was told it is an enfringement on his personal life-- which is "none of my damn business".

Ahh... a clue. Perhaps I crossed a line last week when I followed up my greeting with "How was your trip to New Orleans?" OK, it's a bit more of a personal question-- but it was a rhetorical question. It's not like I stopped and asked for every detail of the trip. I was passing by, and decided to change things up a bit. It gets stale to say 'hi' everytime by. If I wasn't supposed to know that he was in New Orleans, then why the hell did my friend tell me they went to New Orleans?

I'm told it was rude of me to ask such a personal question. No. What was rude of me was not stopping to hear the full answer. (The previous sentance defeats my friend's arguement that I am ALWAYS the victim.) Of course, I heard the brief answer before I got to the next door. No big deal.

So, my arguement is this: When is it ok for me to say hello? Am I seriously supposed to just walk through the office and ignore anyone in the building I have not been introduced to?

I waived at the mailman today-- and he waived back. Then it hit me: I don't believe I have been formally introduced to the mailman. I should probably take back my non-verbal greeting for him, because he might think I'm just this rude motherfucker who has no business saying hello to him in an way. Or perhaps I should go jump infront of his jeep, force him to stop so I can appologize for the rudeness of my greeting and introduce myself.

I should also stop posting on Vent's blog, because I have only met him through my blog. We've never shook hands, and so I guess I have to reconsider how I act when he is around.

The fact that this friend of mine is attempting to dictate who I can talk to is head-scratcher. I mean, a couple weeks ago she was telling me that I need to get out more. That I need some guy friends that I hang out with, and that I should be happy being a single guy. In fact, she has gone as far as attempting to ground me from dating or pursuing women. I guess this is all part of her master plan. I shouldn't be friendly to people who I don't know.

If I can't say hello to somebody without being formally introduced, how am I supposed to meet new people? If I just brush past people without a word, they are going to think I'm just this selfish bastard. That ought to go over well.

I'm trying to think back to if I was formally introduced to this friend. I don't remember it if it happened. Though, I do remember meeting her boyfriend at the movie theatre last summer. And I do believe I was introduced to him.

Come to think of it, I randomly met Amanda, and was never introduced to her. Now, another friend did try to point me out to her-- but I was 200 feet away, and Amanda admits she couldn't see me because she wasn't wearing her glasses. Does that mean that I was rude to find her online and start a friendship with her? I can think of several other people I am friends with whom I was never formally introduced to.

You know, I take a lot of shit for being a nice guy. I mean, women have told me they won't date me because I'm too nice. But, I've never been told I'm rude because I'm too nice. Well... until today.

Did you miss me?

2006-04-18T23:52:00.000-05:00

Of course you did.

OK, I've been bad. Well, not really. I'm sure some of you think I've been hiding since I defaced the oldest ballpark in the majors-- but I haven't. I just haven't had a chance to update.

I should get a chance to blog more as the semester winds down. We all know my internship pretty much took over my life-- basically if I wasn't in class or at work... or at work... or at work... or at work... ... or at work, I was working on producing the show. I can tell you, though: Last Wednesday night as Chaz and I emerged from the Ice Dungeon (our office at the TV station), we both couldn't help but smile, as the stress of the job is over with. I could tell the stress of editing was taking a toll on Chaz-- I'm not sure if he wanted to strangle me or the computer... but he constantly had this look like he was going to rip his hair out. (Not a fucking word, Matthew!)

Obviously my academics have suffered a little, so I am attempting to catch up there. And I believe I have done so... just in time for finals to be piled on. But I do have a few things on my mind while I'm here.

First of all, to Rush Limbaugh-- shut the hell up, you sorry excuse for a blimp. I'm not sure what makes you think you (or Dr. Laura for that matter) are the know-all, be-all, end-alls of the universe, but I really don't care what you have to say. If it weren't for the damn campus shuttle buses, you might have been spared from this, since I certainly would never listen to your programs, but since I've heard some of your diluted non-sensical blabberings, I'll over a thought or two.

I had the displeasure of listening to the Goodyear Blimp spout off about imigration and the support the Democrats have given to it. Jabba the Hut claims this to be an act of desperation of a dying political party. Desperation? Nothing like kicking someone when they're down, eh? If I'm not mistaken, aren't you a pain-killer dependent racist? How soon he forgets that he was once down a few notches. Maybe the Democrats are not as strong as they once were, but if the Republicans continue to fuck up this country, and parade around like they own the world-- the tables are going to turn rather quickly. The Democrats are a dying party? WRONG-- political support is down all around. Take a look at the President's approval ratings. If you add that rating to Rush's weight, you might break even.

I'm registered Independent, and I am very open-minded to the opinions and ideas of others. But the quickest way to turn me against you is to try and bully people around.

It's called cognitive complexity-- look into it.

Today is the ten-year anniversary of the tragic death of former Cornhusker quarterback Brook Berringer. Even I was a little sad when it happened-- and we all know how much I hate the Huskers.

Of course, there were a couple cheap laughs out of it. There was always the shadow of Tommie Frazier hanging over Berringer. And naturally there was a joke about how Tom Osborne was overheard at the funeral saying: "Tommie would've landed it."

But the classic moment of that evening was the 10-O'clock News on WOWT. When Dave Webber broke down in tears on the air. OK, sad event? Yes. Upsetting? Yes. But for the sports anchor to physically break down over the news only proves how bizzarre the people of Nebraska are. You cry over the death of a 20-plus year old backup quarterback in a plane crash... yet when a young child is abuducted, raped, and brutally murdered you show no emotion? If you cried for Brook, you should have cried for Hank Gathers, you should have shown some emotion for Jiri Fischer, and you certainly should be upset when a defenseless baby dies under any circumstance. So, I'm sorry I found it comical when the lead sports anchor-- someone who represents the macho -isms that are sports-- broke down on the air. People die all the time, it was his time. I just have to ask, was he (or will he be) that emotional when someone in his family dies?

I'll be back soon with a couple full-fledged rants. Among the topis you may see: Ethanol-- not as great as you think, and My Parents-- welcome to 1997.

It's Raining Snow

2006-03-22T11:33:00.000-06:00

Halleluah!

OK, it's not raining. It's not even snowing anymore, but I've always loved the term "thundersnow", so why can't it rain snow?

I'm back on campus for what will be a one-day week for me. Fresh off Spring Break, which really didn't exist for me, I got to extra days off, though I know at least one of my classes was not cancelled, and I'm guessing another wasn't as well, but even if they weren't cancelled it brings up a question of policy.

There is no consistent policy at the University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO) regarding snow days. It really differs from teacher to teacher, which makes things even more confusing. So, I enforce my own winter weather poilicy: If I don't feel safe driving to class, I don't go. And I think that is something UNO has severely overlooked.

Let's think about this. UNO is a non-traditional campus. There are still not many dorms on Campus, and that is the biggest factor. OK, Iowa State, South Dakota-- they have dorms, so it's not like the students can't walk to class. UNO is a commuter campus, most students drive from home to class, which changes the issues.

The main issue is student safety-- just like it was in high school-- though, I will admit that the schools around here close way to easily. But if you've ever seen a Nebraskan drive, you know why. One flake sets off utter chaos in the streets.

I choose to take no part in it.

My official policy is as follows: If I live to see tomorrow, my education will catch up. Quite simply, going to school is not a reason to risk injury.

The people around here can barely drive on dry streets. Icy, rain, snow, even wind make matters worse. But the common though process around here is that four-wheel drive and anti-lock breaks will keep you safe.

WRONG. You can't even drive with those features as it is, now you're over-confident in the snow, and you're the guy trying to drive 55 miles per hour downhill in a blizzard-- at this point, you had better take your hands off the wheel and start praying, because the only way you're stopping is when your car rolls over and friction eventually slows you down.

Then you've got the other idiots-- driving 5 miles an hour up the hill. Speed up-- just a hint, speed limits are the safe driving speed in ALL conditions. At 5 miles an hours, you're not going to have the momentum to drive up that hill. Now, you're slinding back, causing others to brake, they lose momentum, and you've got 12 cars sitting at the bottom of the hill-- some of them occupuying the same space.

So, I choose to sit at home, in my house, at the top of that hill-- safely laughing my ass off at the morons who forget how to drive in the snow.

The other factor that UNO refuses to take into account is that even if the city has cleared the main streets, they do nothing on the side roads. Matters are even worse if you live outside of city limits-- like I do. If I can't get out of my driveway, I'm not going to class. To get to class, I have to drive down, then up the hill that is already tied up-- and that implies my car is not already sideways in the subdivision. Why risk it?

As a commuter campus, UNO should close when the public school close. It's the only true option. Why add to the problems already out there? The majority of students commute to campus, so it's not like we can simply hike through the snow, or walk on the sidewalks that are already cleared. Think safety first, not money.

The Wild World of Snorts

2006-03-10T01:00:00.000-06:00

OK, most don't like soccer, so this goes relatively unnoticed.

LA Galaxy of MLS (the rest of the world's reserve system) loses in CONCACAF (which is some godawful abreviation for North America, Central America, and the Carribean-- any one got a clue how they came up with it?) Champions League. On the way home from the match, their team president dies-- on the flight. Think they want that game back?

But that's not the worst thing to happen to the MLS today.

4 words: Red Bull New York.

Red Bull? This has got to be... you know what-- fuck it... Matty, this one is all yours.

** OK, Matty just got back to me, he doesn't want to take the first shot on this one. Damn you. You better say something good in the comments.

Red Bull? What are you-- the new Microsoft? Are you making a run a golbal domination? You now have a Formula One Racing team, a European Hockey Club, and now a quasi-major soccer club. Honestly, I don't care. I'm still not drinking your product. I don't go for energy drinks-- for me, its rest and good old-fashioned teeth-rotting Coca-Cola. If I'm looking for a boost of energy, maybe I'll load up on pixie sticks, but not energy drinks. I'm sure there is something bad about drinking high quantities of Red Bull or whatever-- and I'm sure it comes in two parts, one being issues of sleep irregularity (I'm guessing the second is that it rots out your stomach). It makes you long for the days of Jolt Cola (I never had that either, but my brother did... once, he'll never do THAT again. Makes me wonder what happens if I mix Jolt and NyQuil.

I don't have a problem with Red Bull owning the team-- but to call them Red Bull New York-- gimme a fricken break. Then again, I didn't like the Metrostars name. BRING BACK THE COSMOS. **

How bad would it be if the USA loses to South Africa tomorrow, eliminating themselves from the World Baseball Classic? Then again, if Rocket wants to go out with gusto-- that would do it.

Twenty five deadline deals in the NHL involving 40 players. Just for those of wondering, NONE of the deals involved me-- though I heard a rumor that back at the Hockey Canada roster deadline in January that my playing rights were dealt several more times.

Nebraska-Omaha's hockey team makes the journey back to Marquette, Michigan to take on Northern Michigan in a second round knock-down drag-out battle for the right to go to the Joe. I have one question about the series: What's higher-- Mojo's blood pressure, or his blood-alcohol content?

Have a great weekend.

While I Have a Few Moments

2006-03-03T13:11:00.000-06:00

I have a few moments here to actually blog. Television producership has pretty much taken over my life, and will for at least the next month. Unfortunately, that means that the special editions I had planned for this month are pretty much on hold-- unless Joel, AJ, or Matty want to run with the idea.

But there are a few things I have had on my mind.

I got my wisdom teeth out a week ago. And I thought 'wisdom teeth' was just a name. I didn't realize that having them (all 4) removed would turn me into a bumbling idiot who doesn't know what to do anymore.

I believe I've blogged before on my proposal for a relegation system for all 4 major sports in North America. Take a look at the NHL and AHL standings throughout this season. The first team from the NHL that would get relegated-- the Pittsburgh Penguins. You know who would be in a strong position for promotion? -- the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, their AHL affiliate. Hmmmm...

The NCAA is taking away scholarships form teams that fail to meet certain academic requirements. Great, just what we need, another reason for the Huskers to all enroll in Underwater Basketweaving 101 and Reading Modern Classics. What modern classics, do you ask? "Dick and Jane at the Seashore" and "Run Spot Run". What a joke. This is just going to lead to another grade fixing scandal so teams don't lose scholarships.

While I'm letting in to Myles Brand (what a hostile and abusive name) and the NCAA. Who are they to decide what teams can be called? There is some historical value to some names. And others don't have much of a choice. First, I think it's great that Florida State was able to parade some natives infront of Myles to convince him they have permission to use the Seminole name. OK, but Illinois does not have that option. The Illni were pretty much obliterated by the white man. So, 1. they can't find anyone of the heritage to support the name, but 2. there is nobody to be offended by the name. And if Illinois can't be the Illini. What you you do with Indiana? Do they need to change the name of the state? C'mon, don't stop with mascots. Many people do not like the use of the word Indian.

The NCAA needs to worry about what is right for student-athletes, not their own image. These kids are in school to learn, they're not there to play sports-- in many cases their athletic abilities are providing the opportunity for them to get an education... and the education is the focus of these institutions.

What is in the water in Indianapolis. First Tony George, now Myles Brand... I hope for the sake of the locals it's just a coincidence they reside there.

Ah, Tony George... see that light blinking in the corner of your eye? It's your career dicipation light-- it just kicked into high gear.

Talks of a merger/reconsiilation between Champ Car and IRL. Did TG finally realize how embarrassing it would be if he didn't field 33 cars for the Indy 500? Competition is gone from both leagues, the time for the merger is now. And hopefully we'll see a bunch of 1-off teams at Indy, soon. Once the rift is closed, qualifying for Indy will have some excitement.

And before I leave, UNO plays Bowling Green State University in the CCHA playoffs this weekend. AJ, Matty, and the rest of Mav Hockey Nation love to pick on the Tootsie Roll Perverts. Personally, I think I should help Bowling Green, Ohio with their image. Just a few selections of my love for the suburb of Toledo:

Bowling Green, Ohio: Walmart -- Next 4 Exits
Bowling Green, Ohio: Beacuse Plattsmouth, Nebraska was too posh for us.
Bowling Green, Ohio: You sure do got a purdy mouth!
Bowling Green, Ohio: Imagine King Lake, with a few more teeth, and one less lake.
Bowling Green, Ohio: Someone had to make Toledo look good.

Have a great weekend, folks!

Black Heritage Month

2006-02-05T23:44:00.000-06:00

It's February, Black Heritage Month, and yes, I have a problem with it.

(Hold on, Vent-- Don't hurt me, yet.)

I have several complaints about Black Heritage Month. And they are all ways to make it better. So, for the sake of organization, I will present the issue I have with Black Heritage Month, and then the solution.

February.Let's start with the month itself. February? You have got to be kidding me! To name February as Black Heritage Month is a slap in the face to every minority in this nation. In case you haven't noticed, February is the shortest month of the year. Does that not say to you-- well, we think they deserve recognition, but they don't deserve a full month?

Solution: Give Black Heritage Month a full 31-day month to celebrate the history of the heritage of these people-- they fought the All-American fight. Now, if you are going to change what month is Black Heritage Month, you have to move it up. It would send a terrible message to not have Black Heritage Month for 16 months. So, January shold become Black Heritage Month... 31 days, and as an added bonus, it falls right in line with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

Omaha.OK, I live in Omaha, Nebraska. (Not by choice.) For those who don't know, Omaha is the birth place of Malcom Little-- you might know him better as Malcom X. OK, so he lived here for like a year. Still, Omaha was a hotbed for racial tension. And I am sensing a little hostility, still. Why do I say that? I grew up in suburban Chicago. And I remember, the local television stations would drop in 15-30 second sweepers recognizing Black Heritage Month-- specifically WGN, but each station had them. Yet, Omaha has nothing. It's almost like Black Heritage Month means nothing to the local media. That is just plain wrong. Somebody needs to be fired over that.

Solution: Plain and simple, More recognition from the local media. At least once an hour, it needs to be recognized. I'm sure the idiot rednecks who happen to live in Nebraska will be offended-- who cares, they offend me, and they offend every minority with their very presence. This id not a celebration to be overlooked-- for every sweeper NBC runs about their coverage of the Olympics, they need something for Black Heritage Month.

The Name.Considering some of the options, I have little problem with the title Black Heritage Month-- but my issue is that it singles out people by appearance. I don't agree with that, but I also know it could be much worse. I'm sure there are many people who drop the N-word in reference to Black Heritage Month. But those of you who know me also know I hate PC-isms. Think about it, here we are attempting not to offend people in what we call then, and yet we continue to segregate in our words. I do not like the term African-American because we tend to focus on the African part of the term. We should focus on the American part. But, you also can't use African-American in asociation with this celebration because not everyone who is of African decent is black. You know who I'm talking about-- the Afrikaners, the people who took advantage of the natives of Africa. What about the Apartheids? Absolutely no reason to include them in this-- NONE.

Solution: As I mentioned, I'd prefer not to refer to people by their appearance. Though, I think it is among the safest titles. But, consider this-- what is Black Heritage about? What were spirituals about? Why did Lincoln emancipate the slaves? What is the overlying theme of Black Heritage? The answer-- Equality. So why not call it Equality Awareness Month? (Personally, I'd like to hear what my good friend Vent thinks.)

Let's wake up people. We are still doing many people a great injustice. It needs to be corrected. Black Heritage Month is not something to be overlooked. We need to shape this up, fast.

To my friends in Illinois, show your support to Senator Obama-- I'm sure he would be in support of these ideas, and we all know he'd take action. To my friends elsewhere, call you Representatives and Senators. Support your fellow Americans.

You may not know it, but some of us who are white, may actually have ancestors who are black. You may be "black enough" to have been a slave. For all you religious types out there-- we all go back to Noah. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. We are all related, let's treat each other like family.

With your help, next January we can all celebrate Equality Awareness Month, together.

I Promise A Real Blog Later

2006-02-03T16:34:00.000-06:00

But since Joel decided to pick on me, you get stuck with this-- blame him.

Four Jobs You Have Had:
1.) Television Show Producer
2.) Butcher
3.) Baker
4.) Skating Instructor

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:
1.) Grosse Pointe Blank
2.) The Shawshank Redemption
3.) Run Lola Run
4.) Goldeneye

Four Places You've Lived:
1.) Bensenville, IL
2.) Ames, IA
3.) Winnipeg, MB, Canada
4.) Cincinnati, OH

Four TV Shows You Love to Watch:
1.) CSI
2.) 24
3.) House, M.D.
4.) The Mike Kemp Show (sorry, I had to)

Four Places You've Been On Vacation:
1.) Vancouver
2.) Yellowstone
3.) Grand Canyon
4.) Denver

Four Of Your Favorite Foods:
1.) Pizza Rolls
2.) Ramen
3.) Steak
4.) Spaghetti

Four Places You'd Rather Be Right Now:
1.) Winnipeg
2.) Vancouver
3.) Colorado
4.) Vermillion, SD

Four Sites I Visit On The Daily:
1.) espn.com
2.) stlcardinals.com
3.) tsn.ca
4.) nhl.com

Four Bloggers You Are Tagging:
1.) Vent
2.) Karen
3.) Matty
4.) Emily

Just a Bunch of Tree-hugging Hippie Crap

2006-01-24T23:13:00.000-06:00

To all you environmental tree-huggers: I'm sorry...
To all you technological geeks: keep trying...

Your dreams for a paper-free world are futile.

I know, it was this great idea, it was supposed to be that computers would free us from the burdensome stacks of paper on our desks, and save the trees. I am very much a pro-enviornment person, but I know we will never be free from paper. Let me outline it for you with a couple reasons.

Memos. Email is great and all, but sometimes the only way to get your message to someone in a hurry is to post a note on their desk. Sending an email implies to many things-- that that person is at their desk, that they are going to check their email, and that they have access to that email. A memo can be walked down the hall, placed in sight where whoever is going to see it and respond to it.

Why do I bring up this point? UNO has stopped mailing their U-Bills to students. Now, they send you an email, and you must go to the registration website to print off your bill.

This is the worst idea I have ever heard. First, I do not check my school email account with any regularity. When I do check it, often times I am not at home. And what if I don't have time to go print off the bill, I'm likely to forget about it, and the next time I go check that email account, it is burried in other emails. Just send me the damn bill, I'll hand it off to my personal accountant, the bill will get paid on time, and everyone will live happily ever after.

Second example... Toilet Paper. A necessity in the posh world we live in. OK, there are people who use leaves, or have other means, but toilet paper is the ONLY practical means of cleaning your arse following a movement. It is disposable, it is eco-friendly, its more sanitary than any other way.

Believe me, I was trying to think of an alternative. The closest I got was a bidet. But it is not the proper use for a bidet. Besides, I am not comfortable with shooting water up my bum-- EXIT ONLY. Others might be more comfortable with that idea, maybe too comfortable-- but not me. Toilet paper is the way to go.

Finally, there is the harsh reality. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. What do you do with emails and other projects you work on with your computer? You print them off. We use more paper now, than we did before computers became common place. We print off our final reports, we print off emails to remind us to finish those reports, we print off our online sources for information, so that we have them ready to use while we do our work. You can't avoid it.

I really wish there was more we could do. Plant some trees, and recycle-- that's all we got. Control what you destroy, but understand that through necessity comes sacrifice. I hope there comes a time when a paper-free world can exist, but it just does not seem possible.

In the mean time, stop being a 'spinner'-- control your use of toilet paper. The world depends on it.

The Price is Wrong

2006-01-16T23:47:00.000-06:00

What has this country come to?

First, I'd like to apologize to my avid readers, who have had to suffer through the pain of two weeks without access to my great view of the world from the end of the bench. Between a visit from a friend from out of town, and then the first week of classes for the semester, not to mention a 15-hour hour day of editting a television show.

...and then of course, the flu.

...if only I had know the worst was yet to come. I spent most of Saturday night-- and all of Sunday-- in bed, not strong enough to go elsewhere. I was so wiped out physically I didn't even turn off my television last night.

What this meant, was that when I woke up, I woke up to the sounds of 'The Price Is Right'. I think that made me even sicker.

Growing up, I watched 'The Price Is Right' regligiously. I wanted to be Bob Barker-- well, I wanted to host the show... I didn't want to be a dirty 1,000-year old pervert. Besides, I was like 4-years old, which meant it was the mid-80s and Barker's Beauties back them... some of them looked like clowns.

Everyone had their favourite games. I loved Plinko, the Punchboard, and the Shell Game... and I certainly couldn't get enough of the Big Wheel. And then to follow it up, that had 'Press You Luck' and 'Match Game'-- but those are days gone by, and you don't want to get me started on Peter Tomarken and the Whammies, or Charles Nelson Riley... another day, perhaps.

Apparently some things have changed since I started going to school. And I just got to say: WHAT THE FUCK?

Apparently a few things have changed since I started going to school. Like the dumbening of the entire nation.

Another one of the great games, was Three Strikes. For those of you who have jobs, and lack a television at your work desk, the game consists of 8 chips-- 5 good (one for each number in the price of a car, and 3 bad (strikes). Say you draw four numbers to start the game. You now have a 1-in-4 chance of drawing the last number, and three chances to do it. Today, there is only 1 bad chip in the entire bag. Under the same circumstance, you know have a 1-in-2 chance of pulling that last number, and still three chances to do it in. They've made the game easier.

Then there is Hole In One. It's like mini-golf without the windmill. It is a game where you try to pick items in ascending order of their price. The more you get right, the closer to the hole you can putt from. Bob Barker is always willing to show off his mad golf skills, and does a demostration putt from the furthest possible place on the green-- it's like a 20 foot putt with no slope, no windmill, no wind, no hazzard, and a wall behind the hole for the ball to rebound off of. (Even AJ can make that putt). You used to get one shot at it. Now they call the game Hole In One Or Two.

Give me a fucking break. Why not just make it a downhill putt with the hole at the bottom of a cone?

Can we make these games any easier?

I am all for the expanded budgets of game shows. I'm sure they like it when people win. Of course, when I was little, I wanted to see people win new cars.

Now?

Well, now I like to see people fuck up the most mundane activities in the world. People who are idoits, unable to do a little handle the pressure of being under the big lights. There shall be no more rewarding people for psychotic behavior on my watch-- you know how that works, the people who get on that show are the ones who act the most like idiots in the line waiting to get in, get on the show to do the same.

I'm still waiting for some guy to run up to Bob Barker and stick his tongue down his throat-- Froemming, that sounds like it's right up your alley. Go to Burbank, go have a couple shots with Brian Setzer, and have at it with Bob. I know he's not Hugh Hefner, but this will get you noticed.

It's either that, or you fuck up that 3-foot putt, throw the golf club, tell Bob "the price is wrong, bitch", and knock him out. Your choice.

In the mean time, I weep for the future of our nation. The greatest days daytime television has seen, are gone.

Do You Have Any Regrets?

2006-01-02T17:26:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year.

I guess it is time to make a New Year's Resolution. Actually, no. Not for me.

Why make a resolution? I already have ambitions. I'm already looking forward to a few events this year-- my graduation (if the U permits it to happen), my brother's wedding, and several others.

But here's the thing about resolutions-- How many people talk about how they never keep their resolutions?

There you go. You regret not doing something. And you can't live in the past-- you can't dwell on your failures. Move forward, get on with your life. Don't cry over something that didn't happen. It was never meant to be.

I know a few people have some regrets.

Matty (not seriously, of course) wishes he could go back in time to March 2001 when UNO played Findlay in hockey... only to chant: "You'll be back in NEVER!" (The joke being, Findlay dropped their varsity hockey program following the 2003-04 season).

I think some people should have regrets. There are many people who have seriously wronged people, themselves, and the world to the point where they should never forget what they did. Things like the Holocaust (and other acts of genocide, prejudice, or social inacceptablility), and anyone involved.

Do I have any regrets? No.

I've been on this planet just short of 25 years. And I really have no regrets. I apologize for mooning my babysitter when I was 5, but an apology should cover that-- there is really no way to make amends for mooning a babysitter.

I don't regret a decision I've made, because those decision have made me the person I am today-- an intelligent gentleman. I am blessed to have been raised by my parents, because quite frankly they could have done worse.

So lets not talk about how things could have been better. Just remember there are people who are not as fortunate as we are. If you think you have life bad... if you have fucked up in some way-- think about it.

I think my background in hockey for many lessons. There are a lot of things I might still be learning had I not pursued my opportunities in hockey. And in all honesty, the most important lesson isn't something I learned in my travels, just simply in playing the game.

Coach Al Murdoch use to tell me "if you give a goal... wipe the slate clean, play shutout hockey from that point."

He's right... and it goes for life to. If you fuck up-- make amends for it. You learn your lesson, and you move on. Forget the bad thing that happened.

You can't live in the past. You can't live in the future either.

You can only live. So let's live for today.

What Possesses You?

2005-12-21T23:21:00.000-06:00

So, it's been a while since I last blogged. Dead week and Finals week will do that to you. I've just been burned out. But I have have some random musings running through my mind of late, and almost all of them come back to one basic question-- what possesses people to do these things?

For starters... who invented bowling, and what possessed them to do so. We can ask this about almost every sports... but I want to know who had so much time on their hands to lay down 75 feet of wood, then place 10 wooden sticks at one end of it, and hurl a cannonball at the sticks?

And are Canadians so enviornmentally aware, or restricted resourcefully that they only have 5 sticks and hurl a shotput?

How much drinking was involved to invent golf? How much drinking was involved in the invention of any sport?

Explain this one to me. People get overly offended by mention of Nazis and the sight of swaztikas. Yet, there is an abundant population in this nation who are broud of being "rednecks".

I gotta say, it's a two-way street. Either the historical standing of both is acceptable, or it's not for either.

I know there are still some sick and demented people who believe the Nazi was the right way. And I feel the same way about people who brandish the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy.

Why? Because the Nazi Party and the Confederacy were founded on similar principles-- that there is a supreme race. In case you missed it, there is a very well-versed document in Washington, D.C. that reads "...all men are created equal." Perhaps it is only the law of this land, but it is widely accepted internationally, as well. Therefore, if you support what the Confederacy stood for in the middle of the 19th century, you are no better than Hitler and his Aryan ways.

I can't understand why we permit such a travesty. We permit people to display the Stars and Bars-- how does it differ from a swaztika? Ask someone of African-American discent how they feel about the Conferdate Flag... you'll get the same answer if you ask a Jew about a swaztika.

Speaking of possessed... what is up with Quinn Snyder? I swear he is controlled by his hair. He looks like the little Dutch boy from hell. He looks like he stuck his finger in a dyke-- if you know what I mean. Now that Gene Keady has retired, Snyder has the worst hair in college basketball.

What possesses people to be so rude? It only takes an extra second to be courteous. You should take pride in people's accomplishments, not try to render a dark picture about it. And of course, is takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown. Cheer up, people. Be nice. And enjoy life.

...And finally from the WTF file... Has anyone ever questioned my students are given final exams? Seriously, why make us memorize everything you taught us during the semester? In the real world, if we don't know the answer-- we can always ask... or better yet, find a book and look up the answer. Who are these teachers that force us to take finals? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

If I don't blog before then, enjoy the holiday season. Happy Winter, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Boxing Day, Enjoy Kwanzaa, Have a Tip-Top Teht, a Solemn and Dignified Ramadan, and of course a Happy and Safe New Year!

A Blast from the Past

2005-12-13T01:11:00.000-06:00

This weekend seemed like a "This Is Your Life" show for me.

I spent most of my weekend at the ice rink, as is the norm this time of year. But every game I worked involved a team from Ames-- where I first started working as an official.

I love it when teams from Ames are in town. I know people, they know me, and it's just one big reunion for me. The first person I saw when I got to the rink? Mr. Owen-- the Advisor for Iowa State's Club Hockey Team. He was also the partner I was paired up with for my first hockey games as a referee.

Things like that take me back.

Six years ago, I was at Iowa State, studying Architecture. I was a red-shirt. I got my reps playing for the JV squad. But I also served as the Undergradate Assistant to Coach Murdoch. At the end of the year, I was struggling academically, and unsure about where I stood with the hockey team. I faced a major decision-- would I return to ISU for my sophomore year?

After discussing my situation with Coach Murdoch, we made the decision for me to take some time away from school, and go play junior hockey. Coach Murdoch believed I had the potential to not only be a four-year starter at ISU, but even to play D-1 hockey. His final words to me before I left his office that day: "If we go [D-1] varsity, you'll be the first in line for a scholarship." He fully expected me to return to ISU.

ISU's hockey team still has not reached the D-1 level. There have been recent rumours that they might be headed in the direction. But even if they do, I'm no longer eligible to play for them. Still, I'd like to see Coach Murdoch take the program to the next level.

However, they face a major obsticle. Title IX. When I arrived in Ames, the Cyclones faced the task of becoming compliant with the government mandate that there be the same number of opportunities for women as there are for men. Instead of adding a program or two, the dicision was made to cut baseball and I believe another men's program (and I can't remember which program it was).

Based on that story, my initial response to Title IX was anger. You generally don't think that women participate in sports in the same numbers that men do. You also think that if a woman was good enough to play for a men's team, that the scholarships labled as "Mens" would be available to them. Unfortunately, that implies that coaches are not sexist.

Nonetheless, I was upset that a rule that made no sense to me at the time, screwed me out of a full-ride, or the potential for one. I've moved on. I made it back to college hockey at the D-1 level, and I have no regrets.

Then I realized something. There is another solution. And it's been mentioned in the state of Iowa. Several months ago, a state senator from Ames recommended to the Iowa State Legislature to cut the number of football scholarships from 85 to 70.

I don't know all of the details of the plan, but it's a leap in the right direction.

He just got the number wrong. Don't cut ten scholarships, cut 30 scholarships from football. Why 30? Because that brings the number of scholarships available for college football down to 55.

Do you know how many players are on the active roster of NFL teams?

53.

Why should a college team pay more players than a professional team? This does not prevent teams from rostering a full roster of 110, or whatever that number is anymore. It just brings the number of scholarships down to a reasonable number.

Think about this great quote from Donnatella Moss (Janel Maloney) from "The West Wing": There are 53 players on an NFL team. The University of Colorado has 130, 85 of whom are on full scholarship. I'm all for backups and substitutes but can't the guy who's fourth on the depth chart at right outside linebacker also be the fourth on the depth chart at left outside linebacker? If a college football team cut back to 70 scholarships, they'd still be three deep at every position and have a fourth-string punter and place kicker. 15 scholarships ... that's a wrestling team!

18 scholarships is a hockey team. 9 scholarships is a baseball team. That's 27 scholarships combined. In the case of Iowa State, they could field both programs if they cut football scholarships. Think about it... you're not effecting the amount of revenue the football team draws for the athletic department, you're just not allowing them to waste as much money.

I love the concept of Title IX. Equal Opportunities for everyone. That's right, everyone. Not just football players... EVERYONE.

And if you don't believe Title IX is a great idea... talk to the 20 women on UNO's Soccer Team, who just won a National Championship. They're a Title IX program-- the soccer progam was started when UNO added it's men's hockey program.

Funny how things work out like that.

A Look Back: A Propaganda Post

2005-12-06T13:56:00.000-06:00

OK, we've recently blamed someone for the continuation of my blog-- I know people read, I know people love what I write. But of course, I never expected it. I was very skeptical about starting a blog-- who really cares what I think? And I knew it wouldn't be a daily thing-- who really has time to blog every day?

But if you want to know who to blame for 'Internet Hell' (as I referred to it in my first blog entry)... talk to Matty and AJ.

Back in May, I went on what AJ referred to as a "Ruthian streak of Biblical Proportions" on his blog. He, with Matty's help, pretty much convinced me the time was right to start my own blog.

And now, the football gods have smiled upon me. Michigoon vs. the Felons in the A-LAME-O Bowl. With the stage set, we now bring to you what our favourite Husker-H8R, AJ, once called "the best rant [he's] read all year." (I made AJ proud.)

Enjoy.

I don't know who I hate more... the Fucking Weasles or the Fucking Felons? Right now, I think I hate the Nebraska State Pennitentary Felons... er, I mean the Huskers more, simply because there is nothing to do in this god-forsken state but hear the hype. Wow, you got some good high school footballers to come to the most boring state in the union-- come on, at least you can ski in Utah. But much like how college talent does not always transfer to the pro ranks, high school talent does not always transfer to college. I swear these places that ranking HS talent do so based on how many women they've banged, how many illigitimate children they have, how many times they've been to jail for beating their girlfriends, or someone who looks like they thought of looking at their woman, and the number of keg stands they've done at parties-- then again, those types will fit right in, at Lincoln. Fuck sakes, they have a rehab clinic named after the team-- what the hell does that say? I am not impressed by the media coverage of that team, and I must say it says a lot about many people here that they live and die by Felon football.

Have you ever noticed how any time the Felons lose, it suddenly becomes "Depression Awareness Week" in the state of Nebraska? Get over yourselves you whining fucking maggots!

Now don't get me wrong, I have an extreme hatred for the Weasels as well. We just don't have to deal with them as frequently-- we can control out exposure to them by simply avoiding USCHO and other sources of college hockey news. I still belive Alvaro Montoya's legs spread wider than the captain of the cheerleading squad at the senior prom. But the biggest problems with the Weasels are the same problems with the local Felons-- complacency and the righteousness given to them by morons.

Obvoiously, we at UNO are not taken seriously. They could care less what a school like UNO does-- and anytime the Mavericks achieve any level of greatness it is met with a lacluster pat on the back, followed by being considered malcontents. "That's nice, now get your asses back in line, where you belong." As you can see, one leads to the other.

Anybody remember when the Huskers were discovered to be in violation of a few NCAA rules? It was a bigger coverup than Cardinal Law and the Archdiosces of Boston. They sent the swimming program out as the sacrificial lamb, yet said "they were not the only program at UNL in violation." What the fuck do you think that means? It means, we know the football team has fucked up to, but to admit it would kill off 75% of the population of this state. I got news for you, it's called natural selection-- let it go, if you can't handle the Felons being cheaters, than rid this world of yourself. I'll buy the rope, I'll even kick the chair out from below your feet, you just find the rafter in your barn.

...And not so fast there Weasels. You have problems of your own. And just because they go back to the "Fag Five" and the basketball program doesn't mean your hockey program is safe. The Omaha area is full of transplants from Illinois-- all of whom know that anytime an Illini team gets good, you and the Fuckeyes find a reason to put them on probation. How does it feel now? You are about to meet your maker, and the sky is about to fall on you. Your football program is next, and then we are going to come after Skeletor, Alvaro (and his five hole, which will now and forever be referred to as the Windsor Tunnel), and the rest of the group at Yost Ice Arena, and we here at UNO are going to laugh our asses off when it happens.

By the way, nobody plays basketball or anything else in your precious arena-- I think its time you found someone else to name it after-- perhaps a hockey player, I mean you've have hundreds of players come through your program and made it to the NHL, including your legendary coach. Perhaps, you could honour one of them. Skeletor Arena at Yost Field House

The day of reckoning is upon the two greatest evils in the world. It is only a matter of time before your imperfections become common knowledge, and when it does, I hope the NCAA give you both the same death sentence that was handed down to SMU in the '80s. Fuck you very much.

There's a knock at the door, you weasles-- and it's Elmer Fudd... huuuuhuuuuuhuuuuhuuuu.

And is that the sound of a poilice siren I hear-- better start running you damn felons, run like they're paying you to-- oh wait, they are!

End of Semester Final

2005-11-30T12:35:00.000-06:00

This one goes out to the lifeless wonder who called me at 1.00 this morning to ask if I was ever going to blog again.

I last blogged on Sunday... and actually, by the time I finished it, it was Monday morning. Leave me alone!

Question 1
I'm a college student. If it's 1.00am: I'm...
A) drunk
B) doing homework
C) talking a friend through their day
D) in bed

Hint: the correct answer will tell you it is no time for me to blog.

Question 2
You're calling me at 1.00am, and you're not my girlfriend.
A) someone just died
B) you need a ride home from the bar
C) you've drunk-dialed me
D) you're not getting any from your significant other

Hint #1: the person who called me was not drunk.
Hint #2: unless its family, death notices can wait 'til morning.

Question 3
I'm a college student. It's late November. I'm...
A) getting ready for finals
B) worn out from the semester
C) buried in assignments
D) really wanting to hear your entire family history

Hint: As in Question 2, you are not my girlfriend... D is not the answer.

Question 4
A vicious rumor leaves point A and travels 24 pages on an internet message board. The evidence that the rumor is false leaves point B and travels 17 posts before being being shot down by confused persons. The two points of origin are 8 sections apart. At what point does the human head explode?
A) when the rumor starts
B) when the the truth is buried
C) when the admin shuts down the message board
D) all of the above

Hint: someone is being childish.

Question 5
The next time I will blog is...
A) later today
B) maybe tomorrow
C) possibly never
D) whenever I fucking feel like it

Hint: get at least one question right, answer D.

How did you do? The test is worth 1000 points, making up 100% of your final grade. Those of you who cheated will fail, and your academic dishonesty will be reviewed by the university.

Hint: Andrea, I saw you looking over Moose's shoulder.

Hand your tests to the right, they will be grade whenever I get a chance, and the grades will be posted accordingly, unless of course, I forget to. If I forget to post your grade the registrar will mark your grade as incomplete, and eventually withdrawn, rendering any grade you might have received useless. Your phone calls will no longer be answered, and I will feed you a line of bullshit about how I will post your grade so that you may receive credit for this course.

Hint: It's been a fucking year... I'm still waiting for that grade, Dr. Allen.

Back to School for You!

2005-11-27T22:36:00.000-06:00

OK, I've seen bad driving before. I grew up in Illinois. We're surrounded by bad drivers. Idoits from Iowa, Indiana, Missouri, and Wisconsin.

Of course, they all think Illinois drivers are the worst. (Exhibit A: my mother.)

And I know I harp on Nebraska drivers often. I think they are the worst of the group. You know. Red Lights mean Go Big Red (stop if you want to). Turn signals don't exist. Moves that would make NAPCAR drivers proud. It makes you wonder why driver's ed is not mandatory in Nebraska. Seriously, maybe it should be.

But nothing could prepare me for what I was about to encounter on the way home from Illinois today.

I'm hoping it was more of a case of the drivers being out of the element. It was wet. There was a bit more traffic than usual. But still, this was just out of hand.

Driver 1: Red sports car from Nebraska.
From the Land of Bad Drivers, this guy was just waiting to kill someone, or die trying. I'm sure you're a outdoorsman (in your sportscar)-- but I don't think cars are in season. After whizzing by me at more than 80 MPH, this guy attempted to squeeze his way alopng side a semi. Fortuantely, the semi saw him, and the driver of the sports car backed off. I thought I was about to see the world end before my eyes-- and I would've been collected in it.

OK, tragedy avoided, but then this guy totally lost his mind. I'm sure he was a little shaken after seeing his life flash before his eyes, but he has to remember where he is. Hey buddy, you're still on the interstate... you're still in the left lane... and you're only doing 60 MPH (in a 70 MPH zone).

Now he doesn't know whether to shit or go blind. He's pacing the truck, but what's worse is the two pickups behind me, who don't know what just went down, and are probably hard on the brakes to avoid me. Nevermind the fact, I'm picking up the rooster tails from both the sports car, and the semi. I can't back off, I've got a pickup behind me, and if you think I'm slowing down to 50 in a 70, you're nuts. I'm pretty much screwed.

Message to the guy in the sports car: OK, I'm sure you just shit your pants, but you can't do anything about it until you get to a rest area. Keep moving. You've got to do something with your car. If you want to drive 60, get in the right lane, and let us go past.

Driver 2: Red sports car from Illinois
Not nearly as exciting as the guy from Nebraska, but still, needs to learn how to opperate suck a nice vehicle. This guy, can't decide how fast he wants to go. I was hoping this was jsut a case of a guy who, like me, was used to his cruise control. He can't find a consistent speed.

Not normally a problem if you're ranging from 70-75 MPH. But this guy would pass me at 85, and I would pass him back at 70. You see the problem. And he won't leave the left lane.

Listen man, if you're gonna pass me, and don't want to be behind me-- drive. Then get out of the left lane, you don't own that lane. This is not a race, I should not be passing on the right. And when I'm behind you to pass, if you can't maitain a consistent speed, neither can I. Now you fucking with my gas milage. I'm sure you've got all the money in the world-- we know, you have a nice car-- but I'm a college student, and I'm not interested in buy gas at two dollars a gallon any more than I must. Get out of the way!

And finally, my personal favourite...Driver 3: Gold family sedan from Iowa
You, sir, are the reason for every joke ever made about Iowa drivers. (Old 80s joke: What do you get for failing your Iowa drivers test? Blue plates. IOWA: Idiots Out Wandering Around. IOWA: In Omaha Without Authority. Can anyone explain to me why Iowa has a Welcome Center in Newton? It's the middle of the fucking state! I've been in the god-forsaken hellhole for 2 hours, and you're just NOW welcoming me?)

He announced his presence with authority. He comes from the entrance ramp, all the way over to the left lane-- which was occupied by me. I also announced my presence with authority-- a gesture here, a harsh word there, and oh yeah, one loud car horn.

But I have to give this guy credit. He did manage to flash his turn signal once before his right wheels crossed the white line into the lane I'm in.

Then, he slows down. What? You couldn't have done that behind me? There's nobody there! You were in such a goddamn hurry to get into this lane, now you want to drive 60. Next time, hang around in the right lane long enough to notice the new speed limit for this road.

Mercifly, he gets around the semi. He then proceeds to cutoff said semi. But that's not the best part. Upon hearing the horn of the truck, he pretty much goes braindead. He's stops everything he's doing. He's riding the white line, and now he's riding his brakes.

Hey there stud, the white line is not a lane in itself-- the options are not pavement, paint, pavement-- its just a marker for the actual lanes. Pick one, please.

He did. Nine miles later. And then he has the nerve to look at me, and throw his hands up in the air when I pass him. Dude, you're the moron who pissed everyone off, don't act you know what you're doing. We know you don't have a clue. It's implied by the Iowa plates on your car. (I'd suggest that all Iowa licence plates come marked as handicapped... but that's an unsult to the less fortuante people of this world, and a stereotype I don't want to leave for anyone else.)

I just have to ask, what has the world come to. Many people have gotten themselves in such a goddamn hurry, they don't care who they piss off as long as they aren't inconvenienced. Then you have the others who find it to be their job to keep speeds down.

This is a dangerous mix. I'm not the world's greatest driver, but if you will permit me, I'd like to post a few reminders or suggestions for driving.

1. The left lane is for passing, not cruising. If you are not over taking a car, get in the right lane. Left lane hogs cause traffic jams, because slower traffic keeps right. When slower traffic goes to the left, now the faster traffic has nowhere to go.

2. Find a consistent speed. If you have cruise control, USE IT! Its a driving aid. Here's how this works. If you drive 65, and you are in the right lane, and I am driving 70 and in the right lane, I move to the left lane to pass you. And if the guy behind me is going 80, I have decide before I get out of the right lane if I am going to impede him before I can pass you. Maybe it is best that I allow him to pass you first, I back out of the throttle, let him by, regain my speed, and pass you. No harm done. I can slow to your speed in the right lane without fucking everybody else over. But that guy going 80 slows to 65 in the left lane, everyone behind him is screwed.

3. Open your ears. Car horns were intended to be heard. If you have a pickup truck with a "quiet cab" you are automatically an arogant asshole. You need to be able to hear what is going on outside of your car-- it helps you to know what is going on. It also helps to turn down the radio, and take the cell phone out of your ear. Is your music or phone call so important that others need to die?

4. Most of all, be courteous. It only takes an extra second to be polite. And unless a passenger in your car is having a heart attack, that one second means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Take a look in the rearview mirror. Who are you, what are you doing, and who did you just cut off? Have we forgotten what we've been taught? Or did you just never learn in the first place?

The Philosophy of Sam: Part IV

2005-11-22T16:23:00.000-06:00

Men have been around on the planet long enough to learn one thing about women-- They don't know a damn thing about women.

Do I Look that Dumb?

2005-11-16T14:52:00.000-06:00

No, really. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

Apparently people are paying attention to the way I look now. I'm sorry. I didn't realize my appearance meant that much to you. But it's nice to know I'm turning some heads. Though, maybe you should pay more attention.

I know it's not often that I wear perscription glasses. (I say perscription because I am frequently seen with sunglasses on-- daytime, nighttime, indoors, outdoors.) But I guess people are starting to look me in the eye or something.

The past couple of days, I have been sporting my reading glasses, and a couple of people have commented that I looked "smarter" with them on.

Thanks, I think.

Are you trying to tell me I'm dumb? Maybe I should remind one of the commenters that I kicked his ass at 'Scene It', and have yet to embarrass myself on trivia nights.

Four words for you buddy: "The Grapes of Wrath". (Those at trivia night know what I mean. Joel, help 'em out.)

You know, it's not easy for a student-athlete to rid themselves of the "dumb jock" lable... but maybe I should remind people that I wasn't much of a student-athlete-- Jole likes to refer to my blog as "Sam's View from the End of the Bench". So obviously, I've never relied on my hockey playing abilities to get me anwhere in life. It would have been nice if I was good enough to earn a scholarship somewhere, but that didn't happen, and I am content having been a walk-on. (Though I did have one scholarship offer-- as much of a farce as it may have been.)

OK, so I was not in the top 50% of my graduating class. I went to a parochial school, those numbers are skewd. I mean, I was 48th percentile... and that was with a 3.1 GPA. I don't mean to brag, but in the interest of clarifying-- I'm currently carrying a 3.3 GPA in college. I'd qualify to graduate with honours (if I don't bomb the next two semesters). And the last time I took an IQ test, I scored a 164. That's high genius range, and that was like 5 years ago. And I was always labled with "the smart kids" in grade school.

Don't think of me as dumb. I am not a dumb jock. Remember: crazy, not stupid.

I know I don't wear my glasses very often. Usually, I only wear them when I've taken a knock to the head, or I'm just worn out or tired-- I've been wearing them a lot recently. Every once in a while I wear them just for a different look. But it seems like some kind of a coup when I do.

Thanks for noticing.

You might have to get used to it. Anybody remember Johnny Onthespot from "Spoofed News"? Aha! I was wearing glasses, wasn't I? Why? Because in case you haven't noticed, I have very deep, dark eyes. The cameras don't like my eyes (or my face). My eyes caused a lighting problem (shadows), so to correct it, I wore glasses. I suspect if I get into broadcast news after I graduate, the glasses may become more of a permanent fixture-- unless there is a great make-up artist where I work.

I said make-up artist, not MAKE OUT artist.

Of course, it could be worse. Do I need to post Adam's yearbook picture from his freshman year of high school? Or should I just post a link to where you can find it?

I'd rather be smart, than look it. I mean, obviously there are some people who think I look good with glasses, and others who like me without. There may even be a few who are indiffrent to it. Doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter to me how I look-- it's not like I have to look at myself.

Who's dumb now?

They're the Kids in America

2005-11-14T14:19:00.000-06:00

Has anybody else noticed the moral decay in our children? Seriously, what the hell is going on?

I was working a high school football game this weekend as part of a TV crew. And I get run into by a 12 year old girl. Normally not a problem, except she looked like a french whore. I swear, when she ran into me, there was this huge puff of makeup in the air. Later, I hear the same kids running around... and the same kids yells at her friend 'Don't touch my thong!' Whoa. Who lets their preteen daughter leave the house like that? I'm beginning to reconsider my stance that all girls should be locked in a dungeon until they are 18. I know many fathers who would support this idea.

It gets worse than that. I'm witnessing co-workers, many who are in their 40s and some in their 50s talking about the girls behind the counter at the ice rink. Dude, you're old enough to be her father. And I'm beginning to wonder if they are child molestors. Geez. It is so wrong, but I guess if they girls are that starved for attention, the penalty is to have some creepy 40+ year old staring at her, drooling.

It does go beyond how they dress. It's how they act, too. I don't need to walk out of a movie theatre to witness some 14 year-old making out with her boyfriend. Public displays of affection are a problem. I'm not saying they are better in private, but kids should not be participating in such acts.

And then there is the language. Now, I work with kids-- I'm a youth hockey referee, and I'm a skating instructor. I also remember what it is like to be a kid. I may be balding, but I'm still only 6 years removed from high school. And times have not changed THAT much in 6 years. That is, unless I miseed some radical movement or government mandate while I was living in Canada... but I think that would have made the news up there, too.

USA Hockey has a zero tolerance policy about language. It is not strictly enforced. I also don't think it should be. It's a good idea, a utopian idea, if you will... but then again, so is Communism.

How I interpret the rule is simple. You're not going to stop high school kids from swearing. It has become commonplace in our language. But you can ask them to harness it. I let the high schoolers slide with it. Bantams, I can understand the slip of a tongue, but if they repeat it, we've got a problem. Younger than that... it is zero tolerance. I've given misconducts to 10 year olds for telling me a call was "bullshit". My rationale? I don't appreciate it from a high schooler, I'm certainly not going to take it from a 10-year old.

Coaches, get no slack from me. They are to be setting an example for their players and their fans. They are zero tolerance, no questions about it. They might get the courtesy of "I think I heard it, but I'm not sure, so don't let it happen again". But if I hear it again, I don't even have to think about it. You're done.

And like the coaches, I give the parents no slack. OK, I was raised in a strict house. Some kids weren't. But I fault parents for not having the control over their kids to keep them in line. We, as adults, need to lead by example. We need to stop talking about sex in front of our kids, we need to stop swearing at our kids. We need to show control to maintain control.

Don't bitch about how the kids are ruining this country until you have done everything you can to prevent such a decay.

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off

2005-11-10T14:01:00.000-06:00

So I've been a little down this week. I think its understandable. But I can't be like this too long. The world doesn't stop just because somebody's physical presence ceases to be.

It is times like these when you find out who your real friends are. This week, specifically it has been Andrea, Amanada, Janelle, Renee, and Tim... not to mention my soccer team (Tanya, Beth, Gary, Laura, and Ali). You guys have been there, kept my mind where it has needed to be. And some of you have kept my spirits up.

But if you needed a sign that I am feeling better, that I am up off the floor. You should ask the friend I just talked to. I know that just because I am down, doesn't mean that nobody else is permitted to be the same. But apparently, I have kept her smiling the past couple days. And I did it with my typical, sarcastic, radical, yet somehow rational zingers.

Who cares if your exboyfriend keys your car. The police will give him all the attention he deserves. Cars can be replaced. The time he spends in jail, can't.

If you feel you have writers block-- write an email to your professor. Remember, grammar and spelling count. Use good sentence structure, and details. Charts and graphs fill up space, and draw the attention away from your writing mistakes. Don't forget to cite your sources. Then turn it in as your paper.

A friend told me he thought someone was hot. I told him he shouldn't tell her that-- never use temperature to describe a woman. Women get offended when you compare them them to pieces of meat.

I think I'm getting better... what do you think?

If You Will Pardon Me For a Moment...

2005-11-09T01:18:00.000-06:00

Unfortuantely, I can not find it in myself to post my usual radical views on the world. I think you all will understand.

About 8.30 this evening I got a phone call from my friend, Jill. I know I've blogged about her before, so for those references, please fell free to search through my previous entries. It's pretty obvious how much she means to me.

I could tell something wasn't right. If I only I knew. She had just gotten off the phone with her mother. Yes, THAT phone call from her mother. Her father passed away.

About a year ago, Dave was diagnosed with lung cancer. After a fierce battle, and several rounds fo chemotherapy, the cancer went into remission. But the fight took a lot out of Dave, and whike he was getting stonger every day, he never fully recovered.

I knew Dave before I met Jill. In fact, I was attempting to contact Dave when I met her. Dave and I were involved in several fantasy sport leagues together. And we got to be really good friends. And from that, Jill and I got to be really good friends.

I don't think I can really explain how close Dave and I actually were-- and I'm not sure Jill really knew how far beyond fantasy sports it carried. But there are a few moments that defined our friendship.

Dave was like a father to me. You know those things you really can't talk to your own parents about? He was the guy I turned to. And he was always willing to give advice, or say something to cheer me up (two things his daughter is also able to do).

During my second year in juniors, I was living in Cincinnati-- which about 2 hours from Tell City, Indiana, where they live. And he told me, if I ever needed anything... if I ever got into trouble... to call him-- even if it meant bailing me out of jail. It made me feel more at home in Cincinnati, knowing someone who really cared was nearby. I'm sure my billets would have helped anyway possible. But when someone says they would bail you out of jail (not like I've ever done anything where it would be necessary), you take notice.

But my strongest, and most favourite memory of Dave involves Jill as well. Both had been planning on coming to Cincinnati to watch me play hockey while I was there. Unfortunately, I was only there for a couple weeks, before I was sent to Winnipeg on a loan. So, it never happened. But sometime after, and it may have been after I left juniors, I had a nice conversation with him... and he knew how I felt about his daughter-- it wasn't exactly a secret. Yet his words to me are one's I'll never forget. "Someday, I hope to have you as a son-in-law." Considering I wasn't even dating his daughter, I was in shock. But he made me feel good, to know that I must be doing something right, that someone thinks I am acceptable to date or even marry his daughter.

God bless you, Dave. And God bless your family.

Someone Out There Cares

2005-11-05T01:58:00.000-06:00

Haha, you've all been sold out by a single person.

For a while I've been wondering who I've pissed off, who I've alienated, and who is no longer tlaking to me because of something I have said in this blog.

But then, I got an instant message from someone who absolutely loves my radical views-- or at least the comic value therein. Apparently, my angush makes her feel better about herself, or something. Whatever it was, she was glad to tell her friends about it last night.

I guess this makes it like my first season in junior hockey... I'm bouncing around form team to team, living in a hotel in Winnipeg, and my mother (yes, the roadrager, herself) was telling me to give it up, and come back to school. But there was this one voice who kept telling me she knew I could do it. That one voice was all I needed to keep going, and she carried me through.

I have a similar story for my second year of juniors. Different friend, same result.

Never underestimate the power of friends in your life.

So, as I continue to soil the internet with my vast spewings on meaningless banter, you now know there is another person to blame.

Someone call Al Gore, and tell him just what has become of his invention. I'm sure he'll be glad to know what has become of it.

And so for now... I leave you to the misery that is reading my ill-conceived, 'what the hell were you thinking', 'how much alcohol have you had tonight', 'did your one working brain cell finally give out', 'why do you hate America', 'who is Tarzan now', 'do you honestly believe what you say', socialist/communist, heretical rantings.

Why? Because somebody out there likes it.

Happy Birthday, Andrea. And your cell phone battery is low!

Why? Because You've Asked for It

2005-11-01T16:24:00.000-06:00

I really don't like to copy things done on other people's blogs. But some of you have taken it upon yourselves to call me out on this. Fine. Here. You asked for it.

2 names you go by
1. Sam
2. Crash

2 parts of your heritage
1. German
2. Swedish

2 things that scare you
1. my mother's driving
2. snakes

2 of your everyday essentials
1. milk
2. 8 hours of sleep

2 things you are wearing right now
1. blue jeans
2. button-down shirt (unbuttoned, of course)

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. John Mellencamp
2. U2

2 of your favorite songs (at the moment)
1. 54-40, "Casual Viewin'"
2. Liquido, "What You Keep Inside"

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
1. understanding
2. intellectual debate

2 truths
1. I was eligible to vote in 2000, but didn't
2. I really do have Canadian roots

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
1. eyes
2. intelligence

2 of your favorite hobbies
1. video games
2. photography (it's new to me, but I love it)

2 things you want really badly
1. to have a job when I graduate from college
2. my friends to be happy

2 places you want to go on vacation
1. Vancouver, BC
2. London

2 things you want to do before you die
1. visit every MLB ballpark
2. graduate college

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
1. anything I say could be seen in a sexual context
2. I don't know a thing about women

2 things you are thinking about now
1. this country could be a lot worse off than it is right now
2. this is almost torture for me to complete, and for you to read

2 stores you shop at
1. Kohls
2. Borders

2 people i would like to see take this quiz
1. Nina
2. Amanda

There you have it. If you've had half the fun reading this that I had writing it... then I've had twice as much fun writing this as you've had reading it.

The Scariest Thing in the World

2005-10-31T13:58:00.000-06:00

OK, its Halloween. And of course there is something about this Pagan ceremony that makes us want to scare the twizzlers out of each other. So I was just thinking... what is the scariest thing to ever happen to me?

And I worked my way down a list... for a long time I was afraid of flying-- I still don't like to fly, but I don't have any horror stories, yet. There was 9/11... but my first thought on that was that it was just "War of the Worlds" all over again-- I mean, I was listening on the radio as I was moving from Cincinnati to Peoria. There is the story about how I've met some women, but my fear was irrational-- I think the fear was for the women.

And then there was this morning...

We took my car to the mechanics for an oil change, and to have a sensor light checked-- I was hoping it was just a short in the wire. Instead, I find out it's time for new breaks. So, for the day, I am without my car. And I miss my car. I miss my car a lot more than I did at 9.00 this morning when I left it at the mechanics.

So, my mommy drove me to school today. How sweet of her. Well, I thought so, until I actually got in the car. I hadn't ridden in a car driven by my mom for a couple years-- if I'm out with my parents, dad drives, and when he gets tired, I drive. But I can now say that riding in a car driven by my mom, is the scariest thing I have ever experienced.

My mom is "Leadfoot Lisa" if there ever was one. Let me just say, I have driven a race car before-- and the first rule of driving a race car is: "you are always on a pedal." You are either on the gas, or you are on the breaks. My mother takes this to a new extreme. She does not ease onto a pedal, she just drops the flippin hammer on it.

By the time we got to the bottom of the hill, I moved my seat all the way back, just so I didn't bounce my head off the dashboard.

Then we get into traffic. And my mom is lane-jumping, weaving in and out of traffic, cursing, swearing, flipping the bird, calling everyone 'morons'. And I'm just like, talk about the pot and the kettle.

Then, she blew through the red light. No even close. I'm not even sure she saw it. Fortuantely there was no cross traffic.

She then procedes to attempt to pass a car turing right off the street. So she drag races the car next to her, doesn't signal, and cuts of the car she was racing. Oh yeah, the turning car-- couldn't have been more than 6 inches from the front corner of the car.

At this point, I call my professor-- told her I wouldn't be in class today, cuz I'm going to be dead by the time I get to campus. Yes, my life was flashing before my eyes.

Then her cell phone rings. "No, I'll get it." No way in the world I'm letting this crazed woman answer a cell phone while driving-- she can barely keep the car on the road as it is.

"Karen's phone... ... ... I'm sorry, she's busy roadraging right now, can I take a message and have her get back to you?"

Her boss starts laughing.

Seriously, my mother is a school nurse. A health care professional. Is this how they stay in business? They send my mom out to drive like a maniac-- causing broken bones, concussions, heart attacks, strokes, and possibly even motion sickness? (I'm beginning to wonder if my childhood days of motion sickness might have been caused by her driving.)

So we get to campus, in record time-- something like 37 seconds (for a 6 1/2 mile drive). And I'm breathing into a paper bag. And as I get out of the car, I tell my mother: "I don't ever want to hear you complain about my driving, again."

So, as a friend, I ask you. Can somebody please give me a ride home from school?